Yo. Hey. I'm Shea.

For one, I'd get my dental layout scanned and then use the 3d model of my teeth to commission a giant pair of pincers where the cutters are replaced with a life-sized metal recreation of my teeth. I would use these to press bite marks on all sorts of things that a human being physically could not bite into, and emotionally would not want to.

In the sunfish’s defense!!!!!

If you've been following the saga of Tylenol, the people's princess, you probably already know that her biggest rival, Elmer, has had his campaign buoyed by a handful of wealthy donors looking to claim the coveted beer prize for him through sheer buying power alone.

You have probably also seen that after Tylenol's grassroots rise to first place, the Elmerauders struck back with a vengeance, with the same $1k patron as before injecting an additional $1500 into Elmer's campaign to boost him back to first in one fell swoop.

Thankfully, Tumblr's support has already placed Tylenol back into first, raising over $5000 for BARCS in small, passionate donations!

However, this is far from over. Additional details have come to light about the forces behind Elmer's campaign - votes are being bought through raffle tickets for signed NFL merch. Though this has been going on since the contest began, Tylenol's rise is on the Elmerauders radar and more active promotion of the raffle and Elmer have showed up on his owners social media.

Though i abhor the rigging of this cute animal election and believe the people's voice must be heard through our princess's victory, to the credit of the Elmerauders, they seem to be very plugged in with fundraising in general; earlier this year Elmer's owner was involved in organizing a pretty successful AC donation drive (results pictured below) during the heat wave that hit the East coast.

Combined with the new knowledge that Elmer's owner has seen previous success in a similar contest to put his face on a beer can, we're dealing with an opponent who has clear connections to a base with hefty financial means. This is absolutely incredible news for BARCS, but it does but Tylenol's current lead in a shaky position.

With the weekend coming up, we could see a networking push from the Elmerauders and a subsequent jump in Elmer's position. As comfortable as her lead looks, this gap could be closed easily given the base of support the Elmerauders have historically enjoyed.

Stay strong. Stay vigilant. And most of all, put the people's princess on a beer can!