sunshine

medplay with a nasty necrophilic doctor who drugs you up, takes you to the autopsy table and tests stuff on u.... doctor who records the whole thing and posts it online... doctor who sews you up after and promises to take the best care of your body once you're dead... ouhhh

watching their cocks get hard, or their cunts leak, at the idea of me killing them on camera. promising to spread the video around so everyone can remember how pretty they looked dying on video.

sitting you on my lap on my couch, tilting your face with my heads. using my thumb to swipe some blood left over from our recording session earlier.

you’re drugged up pretty heavily. maybe you performed well doing the video, took my fists and the taser like a champ, so i gave it to you as a reward. maybe i gave it to you so that you’d be pliable when my friends come over to see you.

spreading your legs infront of them, not letting them touch — yet, but they’re definitely laser focused on you. they are so terribly predictable when it comes to what they clearly want.

being mentally present enough to know that any one of them could offer up cash to touch you, and i’d accept, and you’d have no say.

learning that just because something is attached to you, doesn’t mean it’s yours.

It just never happens. All the things everyone "knows" always happen just never manifest. You just feel heavy, burdened, trapped. Stuck carrying this parasite you don't even want to be responsible for the creation of, let alone raising.

Even as you descend into deep, hard labor, everyone keeps giving the most generic, bland encouragement. Your sobbing and begging only making them mildly uncomfortable, until the doctor reassures them "this is normal. Childbirth is hard, many mothers get hysterical and say things they don't mean."

Everyone is excited for this but you. Everyone wants you to experience childbirth for this little life ruiner but you. And you're the only one who has to feel it grow inside you, has to endure your body straining and squeezing, feeling the head move down into your birth canal, then through you into the world, no matter how badly you didn't want it.

You feel yourself bulge. Feel your most sensitive place utterly violated by childbirth. Then they hand you the parasite you've sacrificed so much to grow big and strong, to sob into the world against your will, and tell you "Congrats! You're a mother now!"

Enjoy the idea of rape? Make it all you talk about, make sure people associate you with the concept of rape. Post about it. Fantasize about it. Everybody else responds to rape with horror and disgust, while you can't stop thinking about how lucky she was.

Want to really make yourself free use? Stop hiding. Show everybody your ass, your tits, your face, your entire body. It's not yours anymore, after all. You wouldn't hide merchandise from customers. Everybody should know what every inch of your body looks like.

Disappointed nobody's grabbing you off the street, or breaking into your home to use you? There's an easy way to fix that. Break down the anonymity of just being another horny girl online. Start with easy things, like the state you live in, or your daily schedule. Make it easier and easier to find you, until more people know your address than they do your name.

Even if you're willing. Even if it's something you desperately need.

I hope the way he treats you shows you that whether or not you want it, it's not your choice. That you don't get to decide whether he holds you down and fills your womb - only whether it's rape when he does.