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Orange Victorious Is The New Black

Victorious Is The New Black.

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Here, dearie ^^She looked, in a word, stunning. Okay, she always did but that day, it seemed even more than usual. The white dress covered in lace going on a light “u” shape from shoulder to shoulder, but digging deep into her back, stopping just where her butt started, leaving it all in display. People probably found it weird that she was getting married in white, but then again, I knew it wasn’t her decision. Maybe I was the only one to know so. Actually, I was the only one to know the real reason for her to be there that night. Entering the aisle slowly, her eyes displaying a bunge of emotions, especially when they crossed mine who looked at her from the end of the corridor. My lips curved a bit in an attempt to smile, to give her the strength she needed.  This would change all of her life, after all. If someone asked me how it started, I wouldn’t know how to answer. Even because as far as I knew, we were drunk that night. There was this huge party at my house and Beck didn’t show up because he and Jade had a fight. She wasn’t feeling well, so she ended up staying. And then we started to drink and talk and next thing I knew, I was waking up beside her on the next morning. She declared it was a mistake, though and said no one should know about that. Never. I couldn’t help but agree, she was with Beck, after all. But sometimes, I wondered if he really deserved Jade, cause maybe it was me, but it felt as if they weren’t in balance with each other. If they were, I don’t think she would need to drink and end up having sex with me that night. Or maybe I kind of wanted to believe there was something wrong. Something that would make Jade finally realize how I truly felt about her and that if she allowed me, I’d make her the happiest woman in the world. It wouldn’t happen, though. Time passed and Jade and I truly never touched the subject again. It affected me more than I let it show and the way we looked at each other sometimes made me believe it was the same for her. But then, she kept quiet about it and I tried to forget.  Until she came after me again. It was one stupid text. I shouldn’t have fallen for it, but next thing I knew, I was telling her to come to my house again. There were no drinks that night, but movies and fun. If it wasn’t for the sex in the end, we’d look like two girls who had been best friends since always. But since there was sex in the middle indeed, I believed we were a little bit more. We connected. In a twisted, impossible, improbable way, but we did.  * * * She knocked on my door that night again, her face was swollen and her eyes were red which made pretty obvious she had been crying. I brought her in and held her until she stopped, only then being able to tell me what happened. Jade was pregnant. I felt betrayed. Even though I had no right to feel so. She wasn’t cheating on me with Beck, it was exactly the opposite, so I guess I really didn’t have that right. But still, Jade’s news shocked me and I couldn’t avoid feeling a bit like that.  “I’m sorry, Tori… I don’t know how it happened, I…”  “You do know how it happened, Jade…” I didn’t mean to sound harsh or dry and I was trying my best to keep a sweet tone and give her support, but it was a little hard when my heart was broken.  “No, I mean, we never… Oh.” She shook her head, pulling away from me slightly so she could look into my eyes, taking a few breaths and a moment to recompose before she was able to talk again. “That’s not all.” She swallowed. “Beck and I are getting married.” That broke me completely. Cause yes, deep down, I still had some hope that maybe we could, I don’t know, be something else. More than this undefined, weird, messed up relationship we had now. I didn’t even know if I could define myself as Jade’s “affair”, this word seemed so little when what I felt for her was so big. “You…” “Tori, it’s the only way. I don’t have the guts to…” She swallowed, shaking her head, showing herself disgusted by the thought. I nodded, understanding. “We didn’t know how our parents would react if we told them, but it’s not like it’s something we could hide. So…” She started to cry again, digging her head on my chest. I stroked her hair, but tried to digest the information, trembling slightly as I answered. “Let me guess… Then they pressured you and him to do so?” She looked up, cleaning her eyes briefly. “Not my mother, though. But his. And my father…” I sighed, understanding as much as I could. I knew how fragile Jade was about her dad and when she mentioned him, that whole wedding thing seemed to make a lot more sense. However, either I was in love with Jade or not, I didn’t think they should be forced into doing so. Maybe live together to be able to take care of the kid, but getting married just because they needed to? That wasn’t very healthy. “But Jade… What do you and him want to do? Do you want to get married? Does he? You can’t let your parents force that on y—“ “What other choice I have, Tori?! What else do I have? It’s not like I can raise the kid on my own!” She sighed, clearly defeated when she said the next sentence. “I’ll need my father’s help… I can’t go against him this time.” “But…” What was I supposed to say? I sighed, defeated, stroking her back.  Minutes passed, maybe an hour, I couldn’t say. I just knew that I had to keep holding her while she cried and tell her I would be there no matter what. Only when she got some of her breath back, she had the strength to pull away slightly and look at me with a serious glance. “You know that we can’t do this anymore, right?” I nodded quietly, looking away from her, trying to pretend that didn’t hurt me or broke my heart and that it was all okay. “I-I know.” “I’m sorry, Tori. I didn’t mean to get you in this mess. I really like you, but there’s no other way. And… I love Beck…” Did she? Did she really? After opening herself so much and being here with me, not only sexually, but emotionally as well? Still, that was no time to think of that. I had to be selfless and think of her only. Leave my interests and feelings aside, like I usually did when people needed help. “I know. And I might love you. And that’s why I have to let you go.” Jade frowned as she lifted her eyes and looked at me, placing a hand on my face. “I’m sorry, Tori. I really am. It’s just… Not up to me anymore.” * * * I helped her getting ready for the wedding and in fact, I was the one to help her with the dress. Jade called me to be one of her bridesmaids, along with Cat, but the little red helped more with the desserts. I was the one to look after all the rest with her. It was hard. Sometimes I just wanted to kidnap her and say it was going to be okay and that I could take care of her. For sometimes, she would break down. And I’d be the one to take care of her. She always told me she didn’t wanna break in front of Beck because he was scared too. So I was still the one to help her not freaking out. And it broke me that I was so close to her, while being so far. But like she said, it wasn’t up to us anymore. Still, she looked stunning. And I couldn’t help but picture myself in his place. Picture a whole life with her, with some kids and all that silly stuff. All the things she’d have with him. But we still had one less moment before her life changed completely… * * * Jade called me to the dressing room. That was the first time I saw how stunning she looked in the dress. However, her eyes didn’t sparkle as the rest of her seemed to. Instead, she carried a sort of desperate expression and even though her make up was water proof, it was still noticeable that it wasn’t perfect anymore cause she had been crying. I pulled a chair beside hers, taking her hand and holding it strongly, asking what was it. Jade didn’t answer, instead leaning herself on me and hiding her head on the hollow of my neck. She was trembling and even though I’ve seen her breaking down before, I had never seen her that desperate. Except for that first time she told me about the pregnancy. “Jade…” “I can’t do it, Tori. I can’t do it…” She finally gave in, starting to sob. I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, shushing her, trying to calm her down a bit. “I barely started college…” She went on. “How am I supposed to go on? How am I supposed to keep chasing my ambition of becoming a director?!” She was about to start sobbing again when she goggled her eyes, seeming to realize something else. “And Beck… He always told me how much he wanted to become an actor and now…” “Jade, stop. You can still do it. There’s been teenagers who had kids before and they didn’t… Lose everything because of it. You can do it. I believe in you.” She nodded, the shadow of a smile opening on her lips. “Thank you.” She sighed. “Will you help me?” “As much as I can. I’ve told you, you can always count on me. That won’t change…’’ She finally opened her smile a little more and I noticed her make up was still smudged. “We gotta fix that. You have your own wedding to attend.” I said somewhat playfully, raising up and getting the products to clean it, taking a piece of cotton and starting to rub the smudge softly. I couldn’t avoid looking at the little details on her face, the ones I’ve learned to like it so much, and my chest seemed to hurt a little, the memory of the heartbreak hitting me again. I tried not to show anything, though, focusing on what I was doing only. When her face was finally clean, I fixed her eye liner and mascara, putting a hand on her chin and lifting her eyes to me to check it, my heart skipping a few beats cause God damn, her eyes. “All’s good.” I said with a smile. “Thank you…” She said softly, looking up at me. And then our eyes met again, but way more deeply this time. Suddenly, everything we had lived during that time hit me and I lost my breath, biting my lower lip. Jade had a slight smirk on her lips and before I noticed, she was pulling me closer and her lips were touching mine. I was sure our spark and that weird connection was still there at the moment. For her hands wrapped around my neck and I held her face. And the kiss lasted at least a minute, before we had to pull apart for air. I would kiss her again, but I knew neither of us could allow that.  “Thank you for everything.” She repeated. * * * It was done. They were married now. And Jade had a whole life with Beck and the baby to live. It was true I was still picturing myself in his place, but it was fine. She asked me for help, she still needed me. And even though it was stupid, having that little of her had to be enough for me. Right now I just wanted to see her happy and doing well with all the obstacles she’d have. To see how amazing she was and how she could get through everything. Jade. My Jade in that beautiful wedding dress.

Her knuckles were turning white given how much strength she used to hold the bathroom sink, even if she barely had any to keep herself up. Her forehead was covered in sweat, but she felt cold and before she could hit the ground she felt a pair of hands breaking her fall. “Woah, Vega!” The voice seemed to bring her sense and she pulled away, trying to stand, but failing miserably. “I’m taking you home” “Jade, you don’t…” “I insist. You can barely keep yourself up. I am taking you home and there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise.” Tori sighed. She barely remembered the trip home. Maybe the subtle cinnamon smell of Jade’s car, but that was it. Tori felt very weak, keeping her eyes open took a lot of effort and when she did, black spots blurred her vision. Jade helped the tan girl into the house, basically carrying her to the bedroom and laying her down on the bed. Tori expected Jade to leave, but she didn’t. Instead, she sat beside her on the bed with no ceremony, not even take caring to take her boots off and turning on the TV. Like everything on that day, she didn’t care, or maybe she did but she fell asleep before she could complain. When she woke up, Jade was still there. “What time is it?” Tori asked, rubbing her eyes. “Almost four” The pale girl answered, not even bothering to look at Tori. So she had missed a whole day of school and Jade stayed there with her. “Why did you stay?” She asked in curiosity. “I was bored and I wanted to watch you suffer.” Jade made a face, as if she had just remembered something. “Are you going to throw up?” “Probably not… There is nothing to…” Jade answered with a mere disappointed “Oh”. They stayed in silence for a while, Jade stopped her channel zapping after a while. “Did you eat anything bad today?” “No…” “Yesterday?” “No…” “Honestly, Vega, when was the last time you ate?!” She snapped. Tori felt ashamed because she honestly couldn’t remember the answer to that question. It all started a week ago, but the exact day was a blur. “Why are you doing this?” There was some sadness in Jade’s voice, her strong, fierce façade breaking a little. Tori didn’t answer. She felt too ashamed to tell. She fished her phone from her back pocket –somehow it was still there- and scrolled through her texts, handing it to Jade, who looked at it in disbelief. She was mean, but that was unacceptable. There were countless texts calling the Vega girl “fat” and other synonyms. “You can’t do that to yourself, Tori.” Jade said in a sweet voice, making the other girl a little shocked. “If you keep caring about what other people say about you, there’s not going to be a whole lot of you left.” “It’s easy for you to say!” Tori, snapped. “You are… YOU!” Jade sighed and pulled up the long sleeve she wore under her shirt. Tori flinched when she saw the marks on her skin. It was so pale and against her bedroom light, the scars almost shone. “I struggled a lot after my parent’s divorce.” She explained “My father kept telling me it was my fault, that I was no good for anything. My mother was never there to support me. She’s a nurse, she works long hours and when she’s home, she rests. I can’t blame her though. It took me a very long time to accept it and myself…” Jade explained everything with such calmness that didn’t belong to her. It felt like it was someone else’s story, not hers. “If I ever find out who sent you those texts, I’ll cut their chest open and rip out their hearts.” Tori found herself smiling. Jade caring about her was all she wanted ever since she got into Hollywood Arts.She was about to say something to Jade when she got up, throwing the remote on the bed. “Stay there. I’ll get you something to eat.” And with that, she went and before Tori could even realize, she was back with a huge bowl of cereal and a milk bottle. “I won’t eat all that, it’s too much!” Tori said, goggling her eyes at the ammount of food. “I was too lazy to get two bottles, so we share” Jade handed her a spoon and took another for herself before pouring the milk. They ate and after they were done, Jade didn’t leave. In fact, she stayed until late. “Jade, it’s not that I want you to go, but isn’t it getting a little late for you to drive home?” Tori asked in concern for her friend. “I’m staying, wheter you like it or not” Jade’s words were hard, but she had a sweet smile on and Tori thought she never looked so beautiful before. She snuggled under the covers, letting out a yawn. Jade saw Tori and stood up, getting rid of her jeans and pieces of clothing without ceremony, until she was left only in her shirt and underwear before climbing into bed with Tori. “Thank you” The latina said with a honest smile. “It means a lot to me” “I know it does.” Jade sighed, as if having an inside battle. “And I know that I’m not the easiest person, but you can talk to me. Just don’t do it anymore. You are too good for that…” Tori’s eyes widened and her heart warmed. “You really think so?” “Yeah… When you first came to Hollywood Arts, I thought you would take everything away from me. You could, but you didn’t. Instead you got closer and closer to me and I hated on you because it was easier to. But now I can’t anymore…” Tori swallowed,a small smile getting to her lips. To actually hear Jade finally saying that made her stomach flip in a good way. “So…you wanna be my friend now?” She asked, anxious. Jade hesitated at first and it felt like she was having some kind of inner struggle, again, before she finally spoke. “Not really…” Tori frowned. She was still in denial? Even after saying all that? “Jade…” “No. I mean…” She turned to Tori, only then making the latina realize how close their faces were and how she could feel Jade’s breath caressing her cheek. Tori trembled, putting a hand on the other girl’s face, cupping it sweetly. “You mean…” Jade didn’t allow her to finish that sentence, closing the gap between their lips before Tori had time to. She tangled her fingers in Jade’s hair, caressing the girl and bringing her as close as she could. Jade was warm and comforting and so different from what people would take her for. Also, she didn’t taste sweet, but still sweeter than Tori expected. Either way, it was kind of addictive and they ended up kissing for a long time until finally air was needed. A moment of silence when they pulled away. Tori had a foolish smile on her face as she kept staring at her companion’s features and how amazing those graceful eyes were. Jade smirked. “Hey, Vega.” “Yes?” “Stop drooling.” There was a genuine smile on the girl’s face as she said that. Tori felt her cheeks burning a bit and looked away, the smile never leaning her lips. “Sorry…” “No. I actually kinda enjoy it.” Tori giggled, turning back to the other girl, taking one of her arms to wrap it around her waist, herself getting closer and holding Jade back, initiating another kiss, deeper this time. Again, they only broke apart when air was needed, both of them definitely feeling addicted to each other. They kept chatting, caressing and kissing until eventually, they were too tired to even keep their eyes open. Jade was almost falling sleep when Tori called her. ”Jade?” “Yes?” “Will you still want to kiss me tomorrow?” She asked, a little insecure. Jade snuggled closer, sighing a bit. Seemed like it’d take a while for Tori to be secure of herself again. “Maybe. If you behave.” “Like how?” “Letting me sleep would be a start…” She teased, Tori laughed a little in response, noticing her tone wasn’t rude, though still honest. “Good night, Jade.” “Night.”

“Get up and pick a movie for us to watch, I’ll get you some orange juice.”Five minutes later they were cuddled close in Cat’s single bed as they watched “Tangled” on DVD. They had to pause it more often than both of them wanted to for Cat to throw up eventually, exhaustion took over the redhead and she fell asleep before the movie could finish. Jade thought about leaving and calling her the next morning, but she wouldn’t have the guts to. Her friend had a stomach flu, she wouldn’t recover that fast. Making her mind, the brunette took off all her uncomfortable accessories pulling them covers up both of them and planting a kiss on the shorter girls forehead before drifting off in  sleep.***“Cat, are you sure you don’t want me to stay? We can go to school together” Jade asked as they walked over to her car.“I’m much better!” She certainly looked much better. On the second night she managed to sleep without waking up to throw up and she looked a lot less pale and tired. The petit girl got a concerned look from Jade before she could smile and reach for the taller girls face and pull it to a very brief kiss. “Thanks for taking care of me” “Don’t mention it” She said with a smile on her lips as she walked over to the driver’s side of her car and opened the passenger’s side window.“Ring me if you need anything. And Brush your teeth, I think something died in there!” And with that, she sped away, leaving behind a smiley, jumpy cat.

30 Days of Victorious Day 30: your favorite episode || Tori and Jade's Playdate