IT HAS TO COME

              call the doctor, beg him please: doctor tell me what i need!

              call the doctor, beg him please: doctor tell me what i need!

been listenin to lots of weird al lately to help my Big Mood™

80s cheese sandwich! a prize for the raffle i did on instagram

blue cheeses

best boi. 

❛  this is so much nicer than what i’m about to do.  ❜ ❛  it’s really… it’s really tragic.  ❜ ❛  what a historic and beautiful and deeply haunted establishment.  ❜ ❛  i keep walking through cold spots.  ❜ ❛  i wonder who that used to be!  ❜ ❛  that’s where we are conversation-wise in our relationship.  ❜ ❛  well, here goes nothing - you ever seen a ghost?  ❜ ❛  you ever seen a ghost?  ❜ ❛  — which is the BEST answer.  ❜ ❛  say more right now!  ❜ ❛  LET’S CHANGE THE SUBJECT!  ❜ ❛  this is a weird topic.  ❜ ❛  none of us truly know our fathers.  ❜ ❛  that’s just the setup to my story, so forget about that poor son of a bitch.  ❜ ❛  and where were you?  ❜ ❛  so you saw what happened and you did nothing?  ❜ ❛  let me ask you this - in nazi germany…  ❜ ❛  just explain to me this - how are you BETTER than a nazi?  ❜ ❛  when he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work.  ❜ ❛  we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that.  ❜ ❛  what would leonard bernstein do?  ❜ ❛  tell him we’re here!  ❜ ❛  this is the closest we get in adult life to assemble.  ❜ ❛  you bought tickets, you knew this was coming.  ❜ ❛  i guess they’re finally gonna kill us all.  ❜ ❛  we are pretty big assholes.  ❜ ❛  i used to smoke crack.  ❜ ❛  freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man.  ❜ ❛  sit up straight! show some respect!  ❜ ❛  i want to talk about what happened yesterday.  ❜ ❛  oh, you mean like - having friends?  ❜ ❛  — and they may just have to kill you over it!  ❜ ❛  none of that matters, but it’s important to me that you know that.  ❜ ❛  that was the general tone.  ❜ ❛  you remember the scourge of muggings when you were in second and third grade?  ❜ ❛  this was at NINE in the MORNING.  ❜ ❛  now i’ve thrown him off his rhythm!  ❜ ❛  a phone book doesn’t leave bruises!  ❜ ❛  i’m still terrified of secondary locations.  ❜ ❛  if i’m at a place, i never wanna go to another place.  ❜ ❛  i thought i’d be dead in a truck with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.  ❜ ❛  GIVE US SOME MONEY.  ❜ ❛  WE WANT A GIFT. BUT ONLY IF IT’S MONEY.  ❜ ❛  what kind of a cokehead relative? you SPENT IT already?  ❜ ❛  i gave you more money than the civil war cost and you fucking spent it already?  ❜ ❛  if you’re an adult still giving money to your college, college is a $120,000 hooker, and you are an idiot who fell in love with her. she’s not going to do anything else for you.  ❜ ❛  hey, it’s been a while since you’ve given us money!  ❜ ❛  because you should be concerned!  ❜ ❛  hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ‘cause it sounds like he sucks, and i’ll totally kill that guy for you.  ❜ ❛  i’m in a new phase right before ‘old’ called gross.  ❜ ❛  but only you know where the bathroom is.  ❜ ❛  i smell a robot. prove - prove, prove. prove to me you’re not a rOBOT.  ❜ ❛  look at these curvy letters! much curvier than most letters, wouldn’t you say?  ❜ ❛  is it an E, or is it a 3? that’s up to ye!  ❜ ❛  but now it’s time for the robot test!  ❜ ❛  fuckiNG WH A T?  ❜ ❛  think about that for 2 minutes and tell me you don’t want to walk into the ocean.  ❜ ❛  thank you for clapping for my political gazebo material. i’m very brave.  ❜ ❛  everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time.  ❜ ❛  things are getting pretty sticky.  ❜ ❛  it’s like there’s a horse… loose in a hospital.  ❜ ❛  i think everything’s eventually going to be okay, but i have no idea what’s going to happen next.  ❜ ❛  get out of here with that SHIT.  ❜ ❛  WE’RE WELL PAST THAT.  ❜ ❛  i dare you to do it. i want you to do it.  ❜ ❛  i don’t remember that in hamilton.  ❜ ❛  it’s tomorrow now.  ❜ ❛  just because you’re accurate does not mean you’re interesting.  ❜ ❛  you might think that’s an ignorant answer, but it’s not. it’s a great answer.  ❜ ❛  i don’t care for these new nazis, and you may quote me on that.  ❜ ❛  i know all that, how do YOU know all that?  ❜ ❛  i’m allowed to make fun of ___. i asked them, and they said yes.  ❜ ❛  the bread of bread is bread. bread is god is bread.  ❜ ❛  it’s just… dads, singing SO loud.  ❜ ❛  GOD CAN’T HEAR YOU.  ❜

Like my need to be praised.

“he will tear your city down.” “i don’t ever wanna grow up.” “it’s called murder. and it’s legal.” “i don’t know your name.” “i had a stroke.” “you’re supposed to be dead!” “you are grounded.” “you see that guy over there? that’s your future spouse.” “woah, when’s the wedding?” “the word what does not rhyme with the word orange!” “let’s take one bad thing about one man and apply it to all of them!” “i’m not where i’m supposed to be.” “pretty chill situation, right? WRONG.” “but then i did a little thinkin’ in the ol’ noggerooni, and i’m like, OH YEAH!” “you make me un poco loco DESPACITO!” “you know what? it’s okay. i do that too.” “streaks. don’t hit me up. only real ones know.” “the storm last night blew 25% of my roof away.” “i think babies should die. i love gay people. i am gay, actually.” “hey! WHAT?” “i’ve gotta wash off the water!!!” “is this a bag of shredded cheese?” “you put the can of baked beans in the microwave way too long and i’m FUCKING SICK OF IT!” “DISCORD!” “just got done talking to the nigerian prince of yahoo.com!” “one direction always told me that what makes me beautiful is that i don’t know it!” “oreo spelt backwards is oreo.” “scissors, paper, what now?” “is this your elbow?” “did you kill everyone in that house?” “quit eating my fucking livestock!” “the birds work for the bourgeoisie.”

A classic