WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY! WHAT BEAUTIFUL WEATHER!

You losers like rick and morty, while I like em thick and portly

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

(holding back my aggressive dog by the collar) Lolll sorry he gets like that around noobs

before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls

i have to kill this post because people keep trying to explain the difference between blorbos and little meow meows and smol beans and cinnamon rolls to me . man i literally don't ca(opens my trench coat revealing a bomb strapped to my chest) EVERYONE GET ON THE GROUND NOW. GET ON THE GROUND.

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic