Now lets get the small talk out of the way

mike’s hard past couple of months

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

"Play toys with me or you're gay"

honestly i think people should describe women as "handsome" more often.

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

Am walking through Manhattan, there's a woman who can't be more than 25 in a big fur coat, walking with a cane, angrily saying into her headpiece "I want them them destroyed," I feel like an extra in a movie

girls yearn for popular media with a butch as a main character

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

"he's not gonna fuck you bro" He will.he will if i post good

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

Tomorrow I will be inventing the wheel

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point