Now lets get the small talk out of the way

mike’s hard past couple of months

I'm so horny I could fuck a person I was attracted to #TRUE

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

You know how we call things "pseudoscience"... the media analysis that's being done on twitter and tumblr should be pseudohumanities

i see you’ve noticed me tamping down the soft earth

I think we’ve lost the art of fanfiction being pretentious a little and it died with livejournal

like you used to get summaries with zero extraneous tags just the fandom, name of the couple, rating (if that) and one or two lines of the person’s best elegiac prose on a massive white field of screen. There was a charming sort of minimalist brutalism to it that neither tumblr nor ao3 has been fully able to replicate

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

Everybody wants you to play pretend about who you are but when they figure out you’re pretending they get so mad!! “You Lied” and you liked me better when I was lying. So where exactly does that put us.

The thing about rewatching riverdale in an ai-dominated world is that you really do appreciate that everything on my television screen truly was handcrafted by a criminally insane inspired gay cinephile