Now lets get the small talk out of the way

deport part of me to Norway, part of me to Wales, and part of me to the Philippines by mistake

Little-known fact: you can exploit a text-to-speech glitch in Rodrigo Duterte to speedrun decolonization by reclassifying the Philippines as white, creating a valid deportation target for Europe and North America not associated with an Ethnic Atrocity, and thus not carrying the Ancestral Sin trait.

Normally you wouldn’t be able to do this due to the population cap, but if you unlock the Arcologies special technology (doable by 2030 if you devote points away from culture war, which is the default use of ideology energy), you can increase the maximum population cap of the Philippines to 1.4 billion, allowing you to subject every white ethnic on Earth to the Enhanced Migration action, skyrocketing the population density to 3,333 per square kilometer. This consumes the entire mineral exports of Africa, South America, and Australia for ten years (which will lower your ethics score due to a colonialism penalty, but you can use Deep Sea Mining to accomplish it in 40 years with no ethics burn) and converts all settleable area in the Philippines to the Post-Industrial Megacity classification.

Okay, so that gets you the Decolonization achievement, right?  But that’s not the fun part.  

You see, you can pull this off while playing as the Philippines since the AI always pursues Decolonization.  Having created a valid migration target, which doesn’t normally exist in the game, every other country will send their white ethnics to you for free.  (It costs less than e.g. the Reeducation civic.)  Prior to around 2050-2080, subjects of Enhanced Migration also take their life savings with them, which is mostly going to be dollars/euros, and the effects on the money supply are not modeled(!).

So you have plenty of money to build things like Sea Crawlers, though you can accelerate the process by importing minerals, so I like to do both.  

You enter the mid-game.  You have high education levels.  You have high development levels.  You have a population of about a billion.  You have maxed out experience with the Arcologies special technology.  You also have a lot of population pressure.  The last two combined allow you to pursue the Space Colony special technology about 50-60 years before you’re normally supposed to, despite being a future tech.

You can create new megacorps almost at will (the maximum of 10 per turn).  A ten billion-dollar funding round is nothing to you, so you can go through megacorps like kleenex, which is good, because you’re going to use about 50 of them.  The Space Colony special project is supposed to be tough, and it receives a penalty for every decade it’s built before 2160.  It will take between 20-50 megacorp bankruptcies before it can be completed.

Now, astute players will note that the World Union Government always seems to emerge about 10-20 years after Decolonization is achieved.  That’s not an accident.  The developers did that way to avoid exactly what we’re about to do next.

After the Decolonization achievement is unlocked for the game, your ethics penalty will drop by more than half due to your population no longer having Ancestral Sin.  (Make sure you have the Space Colony completed before this point.  Refuse some Enhanced Migration from the other powers to drag out the process if you have to.)  

Immediately switch your government type to Dictatorship.  Set your Space Colony to produce only powered exosuits with the “high-mobility” modification.

The World Union period is supposed to be about mopping up the last remnants of Imperialist Colonialist resistance, and the developers didn’t want to show that they knew much about military technology.  As such, you can apply the Militarized template to any vehicle.  Powered exosuits are designed for deep sea and extreme environment operation, and as such they have a high Armor rating despite being construction vehicles.  The maximum attack power of the Militarized template is based on a unit’s physical strength, and powered exosuits also have a very high physical strength, allowing them to mount almost any weapon that doesn’t have the ‘naval’ requirement.

When the World Union demands that you join, refuse.  Every other government in the game will declare war on you, but this doesn’t matter.  The Space Colony will churn out 10 new powered exosuit units (amounting to about 500 exosuits) every turn, and it can only be attacked by space weapons, which no other government can produce enough of to stop you.  You have an invincible fortress beyond the reach of the WUG and can drop military units anywhere on the planet.

Since your massive ethics penalty has been lifted, you can now fight a war with every other government on the planet without your Morale dropping so low that it causes your government to dissolve.  This allows you to get the World Conquest antiachievement (in the same game as Decolonization), which will ban you from the game.

But we’re not done yet.  The Developers HATE that people are doing this, but there’s a next step.  (Also, they claimed that they didn’t patch it because they were sending the funds from sales to the Decolonization Action Group, but actually they can’t patch because they sold the copyright to a Brazilian pension fund.)

Appeal the ban to Steam on the grounds that “the right of space colonies to political self-determination” is your “sincerely-held religious belief.”  If there is ANY gamer in your family tree, you will be instantly un-banned as this is constitutionally-protected as ruled by Unicorn6888 vs Activision.

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Pilots and other transportation workers have absurd hours of service requirements that start your rest period as “the moment you shut the vehicle down” and can be as short as 9 hours in some cases.

Railroad workers have to be available on-call 6 days a week and be ready within two hours notice. They don’t get sick time.

Retail workers have to keep a veneer of politeness against any and all abuse or they can be fired.

Truck drivers get paid by mileage and rarely see pay for shipper or receiver delays.