Valley Of Dolls

DISTANT Oh, the vertigo of your distant gaze. No use trying to explain what it does to me. Whatever there might be to understand, it won‘t get me any closer to you. All I can do is go for the dive and see where I‘ll end up ...

Whether you‘ll be there to catch me, how am I to know? I doubt it. Why should you return to where you been and left, moving on? I doubt it‘s about you and me at all. But to find out I‘ll have to go for it ...

No use waiting for somebody to explain. It‘s not about understanding but about learning. Learning by doing. Letting go of what I been taught and made believe. Freaked outa my mind ...

BURNED Looking at you used to bring on ecstasies of yearning for things I knew nothing about. Now all I see is the snapshot of someone who may have known me when I was young and alive ...

Where‘s he gone? No one remembering him, not even you. No one except for me as I‘m riding toward the sun setting in cold blood ... 

SMOKE If people wouldn‘t wait for happiness to show up and introduce itself they‘d be a lot less unhappy. Me, I‘m fine with being miserable. It‘s you who's brought on my misery. Looking at you I know nothing in this here world is gonna be up to the challenge of your beauty ...

So I don‘t expect you to make me happy. Just allow for me to look at you and send me spinning in ecstasies of yearning, to be burning until nothing‘s left of me ...

VERTIGO Your eyes avoiding me bring on a vertigo I have trouble dealing with. If you‘d allow for our eyes to meet, fear might embrace expectancy. What you afraid of? I‘m too intimidated by your beauty to do you any harm ...

PORN Eyes the color of tears. As if somebody‘s erased them. Could it have been you yourself?

Life is porn, feeding on its own boredom brought on by the tyranny of common sense. Reason a whore on sale for the lowest bid. Your desire the mourning of things which never come about. Reaching out toward the beyond ...

COME ON Beauty‘s said to be in the eye of the beholder. Then why can‘t I see it when you‘re gone? Where‘s it hiding? 

BEYOND WORDS I‘m intrigued, I‘m tempted and seduced. Nevertheless I shall resist. Holding out for as long as I can. For my longing and yearning for you to burn me up until nothing‘s left …

Please allow for me to trail you as your echo, a silent song in praise of your beauty ...

CUTTING EDGE Care for an adventure? Where would you like to begin: Visiting the jungles in my head, the deserts in my eyes, the Arctic in my heart?

ENNUI You never believed in anyone or anything. All you had to do was look into a mirror. Invulnerable in the arrogance of your beauty you threaded your way through the surf of those pleading eyes sucking up to you ...

Feeling invulnerable you didn‘t believe their pleading could ever wear you down, but there‘s too many of ‘em. And no one with a bit of daring and imagination. Just the swamp of their pleading sucking you in and down ... 

PRAYER BEADS The vertigo of your vacant stare, lost on the horizon of a future no one‘s ever seen or heard of, that void to me seemed rich and resplendent with possibilities waiting to be born. Except you didn‘t trust me to make it happen, and you didn‘t have the kind of faith to make it happen by yourself ...

So I‘ve lost you, and you‘ve lost any chance to ever try for any of those possibilities I‘ve become aware of in that very absence of yours. Seems I believed more in you than you yorself ever dared. Ain‘t it a pity? 

REQUIEM Blinded by your beauty I had to wait for you to be gone before I came to myself again. Reeling with a yearning I hadn‘t known before, I've come alive in the wound of your absence ...

The longer I‘m missing you, the deeper those tears I never did shed eat into my wound. It‘s been so long now I doubt anyone could find me, lost in the ever deeper labyrinth of my wound. No one daring enough to venture that far, that deep. Might get lost themselves ...

The wound has turned itself inside out. What used to be inside now is the outer space I‘m traveling at the speed of thought, resplendant with galaxies and Super Nova‘s from times long gone ...

Those stars and galaxies are so far away that you can still see them twinkling, maybe even hear them crackling, even though those stars and the universe itself have long since imploded ...  

FOOL The idea of truth is the end of daring and imagination. The end of life. So I don‘t mind you telling me lies so long as they show some daring and imagination. Maybe I‘ll go hunting for whatever may be hiding under those rumors in rags, maybe I‘ll prefer playing with that rag doll the way you‘ve dressed her up ...   

DARE Myself coming to in those eyes taking me in. If you‘d care for a promise or two, I wouldn‘t want you to answer on those promises but for me to be allowed to see whether I‘m up to the challenge. See whether I might make it happen ...

Mighty generous of you if you think I might be worth a try. Me, I‘d rather fail at something daring than make do with small fry ...

HERE‘S LOOKIN‘ AT YOU You smile at me in pastel colors and take me for a ride in your tangerine colored screamdream convertible. Envious of those unique hues of sorrow adorning my eyes you’re convinced I must be somebody you ought to know about, and you rack that pretty head of yours, trying to remember my name …

Checking your hairdo in the rear-view mirror, your manicured fingers doing the cha-cha-cha on the steering wheel, you wait for me to tell you where I got that gorgeous eye shadow ...

SCRIPTURE OF MY SCARS With your glam-bam smile you‘ve rendered me blind. To keep from tripping and stumbling I reached out for your shoulder but your shoulder was frozen and you merely shrugged ...

»A smile‘s just a frown turned upside down ...« Your voice drowned out by the banging of your high heels fading away ...

I wish you‘d come back and take me along for a stroll across the glaciers in those eyes. Maybe show me what‘s hiding underneath the layers of frozen tears. Introduce me to the girl you musta been before the first shock treatment ... 

SPINNING In my memories her voice is much clearer and her smile much brighter. But memories hurt. They make me smile. A smile of mine is nothing but a wound that‘s stopped bleeding ...

Those tears I never did shed have turned into acid running through my veins, eating away at what I used to think of as my heart and my soul. Now my body is a cathedral resonating with the echoes of your name on my lips ... 

YOUR MOVE You musta been conjured up by my longing for things beyond real. Beyond boring. Beyond explainable. A Winter‘s Tale tripping me up as I‘m stumbling through the desert of my despair ...  

No need to dress you up in words. To be allowed to dwell in your presence I‘ll gladly let go of what reason has survived the mentholated nightmare of being alive. Just let me look at you, and look and look, until nothing‘s left. What used to be me dissolving in a sigh upon your lips ...