Fragments of a Loud Mind

Living in this era with modern technology influences our cognitive processes, either consciously or unconsciously. I’ve read a study titled “Accumulation of Cognitive Debt when Using an AI Assistant for Essay Writing Task”, and guess what? LLMs participants in this study had the lowest neural activation (which means being less cognitively engaged, less creative, and retaining less memory). Considering, convenience silently shapes our intellectual architecture.

I then wondered... Is over-reliance on AI considered ‘true brain rot’, given that our brains work out less optimally? Although this study hasn’t been validated due to the lack of participants, I admit that I once tended to rely on ChatGPT, which made me feel weaker in my memory retention and feel less ownership of my insights. But, don’t we feel excitement when AI becomes our friend to share with? When we get stuck on our ideas, and AI comes to us to perform tasks of the prompt we deliver to it? Perhaps it’s because LLMs or AI boost dopamine in our brains through task delegation, especially when making difficult decisions.  

Well, a primary issue that arises in societies that engage with AI is a decline in collaborative thinking between users and technology. Ten decades ago, we still exercised our cognitive muscles using Google Search to find sources, sift through results, evaluate, and synthesize them. But it has shifted due to the habitual reliance on AI in today’s world. We indeed still need AI to do work faster, but keeping our cognitive independence is significantly essential. So, how to preserve our critical thinking, creativity, and innovation as our cognitive independence?

I found an intriguing article, which suggests 4 approaches written by Timothy Cook M.Ed to balance AI efficiency with humans’ cognitive independence:

Implement AI-Free Zones.

Teach Comparative Judgement Between AI and Human Outputs.

Develop “AI-Proof” Assessments Focusing on Process.

Foster Collaborative Human Problem-Solving Communities.

Even though I usually ask for the reason behind the answer I get from AI, sometimes it gives inaccurate answers, and I realize that artificial intelligence is not as intelligent as it seems. That is so true to not stay in your comfort zone by solely using AI and relying on its source. We may tend to follow and mirror what AI gives to us without deep observation.

Parents were once little students too, we gained education in ways that were mostly delegated to teachers at school or in tutoring centers. We are “forced” to follow rigid systems—lacking deep analysis since most of them praised students who merely memorised formulas, history, and other rote learning, knowledge that often fades away years later. Moreover, people’s critical thinking has been weakened by fake viral posts and content seeking validation in society, and this may very well affect our children too.

There is growing concern that our children’s future may be compromised as artificial intelligence continues to replace human labor, yet governments still lack stable, long-term solutions. The system in this country still hasn’t changed significantly, offering a little room for exploration or curiosity. Although private schools and other tutoring centers offer better approaches like STEAM and IB curricula, they remain inaccessible to the majority. Sadly but truthfully, those benefits come with privileges:

The privilege of recognizing dissatisfaction with knowledge

The privilege of having an environment that encourages questions beyond textbooks

And of course, the privilege of affording access to enriched educational opportunities.

Nonetheless, should we continue relying on the same outdated systems, knowing that we once struggled with their rigidity, and that our children may face the same? The good news is that we can harness the benefits of today’s technologies, perhaps by leveraging AI and impactful platforms, to create opportunities for our children at an affordable cost. So, how do we begin? Here are my suggestions based on personal experience (and I’d love for you to share other effective approaches as well):

Limit scrolling, practice mindful consumption.

Scrolling, even doom-scrolling, can lead to unchallenging activities, especially when we consume short-form videos. Researchers suggest that this activity makes us feel more bored, anxious, and even depressed! If self-aware consumption on mobile phone or short-form content is your issue as parents, I suggest setting an app or timer to limit screen time or putting your phone far from you while you're doing other things like reading a book or watching a podcast. This way is very effective!

Engage with Longer-form, Creative, and Thought-provoking Content.

It will lead to the algorithms on your social media automatically turning into more positive content and encouraging your curiosity with substantial information or knowledge. Try searching and immerse yourself in inspirational content:

Mel Robbin’s YouTube (I’d highly recommend her!)

Ted Talks

Singapore Math

STEAM Projects for Kids

Logic puzzles for Kids

Or just follow an educational influencer.

Select Curricula that Fit Your Family’s Vision.

For example, I want my child to develop critical thinking skills while having faith in God as the foundation of their beliefs. Therefore, I use the Building Foundations of Scientific Understanding books to foster my son’s questioning and analysis skills, and I usually end our discussions with reflective questions such as, “What if God created air in liquid form? Would it make human life difficult on this earth?” From there, I connect it to the idea that God created the Earth in a way that makes it easier for humans to live, and that God made this Earth beyond perfect.

Create a Planner and Tracker for Kids’ Learning

This method is simply about ensuring consistency after choosing and selecting the best learning approach for our children. A planner and tracker can serve as our “Clues and Reward” system by using a notebook, sticky notes, or a spreadsheet to monitor a child's progress. I save time by personalizing schedules with AI to match individual needs and learning speeds. Tracking children's progress (and mine too, as an evolving mother—yay, finally!) helps develop routines that sustain these efforts, turning them into habits.

Stop YouTube Kids and Limit Independent Use of Screen Time

Some will say it’s harsh not to allow children to access selected videos, even just 1 hour per day. However, children are incredibly clever at finding loopholes! When we allow them to watch selected content, they may sneakily find a way to access content we’ve restricted. Like it or not, we have a responsibility to provide them with our time (and sometimes money) to create healthier alternatives. As a reward, consider games that boost children’s cognitive skills, flip through Usborne books, or, if you’re busy, you can download STEAM videos, Sea Creatures, or other stimulating content and turn off the internet while they watch.

Saya bukanlah seorang ibu yang palig sabar dan tenang. Tapi selama hampir 5 tahun ini, rasanya sudah harus mengesampingkan perasaan emosi berlebihan yang ingin dilampiaskan khususnya pada anak sendiri. Tidak adanya contoh pembelajaran di lingkungan terdekat, maka mari kita otodidak membaca buku! Buku yang menjadi plihan saya adalah karya Joanna Faber & Julie King yaitu Seni Berbicara pada Anak.

Point pertama dalam buku ini yaitu bagaimana kita bisa menghadirkan peralatan menangani emosi menjadi tools dasar dalam menyikapi permasalahan dalam hubungan anak-orang tua. Mengakui perasaan dengan kalimat adalah peralatan pertama, eits jangan lupa beberapa tindakan memang harus dibatasi ya meskipun semua perasaan dapat diterima. Langkah dalam mengakui perasaan si anak yaitu:

1. Kuatkan hati untuk menahan diri tidak membalas emosinya (saya tau ini susah sekali kalau orang tua sedang tertekan, but keep learning to be better)

2. Pikirkan emosi yang dirasakan.

3. Akui emosi itu dan masukkan dalam kalimat.

Memang benar sih, karna menurut pengalaman saya selama ini, Albee anak saya, akan lebih mudah meledak-ledak ketika saya diamkan atau hanya bilang, “Jangan marah dong” ketika dia marah. Dia lebih cepat tenang ketika saya mengusap air matanya dan berkata, “Albee sedih ya, ibu sibuk ya? Maaf ya kita main sebentar lagi”. Anak lebih mendengarkan ketika perasannya diakui, bahkan orang dewasa juga begitu ya khususnya wanita? Hehe.

Point lainnya dalam mengakui perasaan anak yaitu mengganti kata “tetapi”. Bayangkan ketika kita berbicara “Ibu tau kamu masih bermain, tapi kita harus jemput saudaramu dulu sekarang” rasanya seperti merampas hadiah. Kita bisa menggantinya dengan kalimat Masalahnya adalah yaitu, “Memang kesal harus jemput saudara kamu saat kamu lagi seru bermain, masalahnya adalah kakak sudah menunggu dan sendirian”. Bisa juga dengan kalimat Meski kamu tau, contoh kalimat adalah, “Meski kamu tau ini saatnya menjemput kaka, memang kesal kalau harus pergi saat kamu masih asyik bermain”. Kalimat ini memberi kesempatan anak untuk memahami masalah yang ada dan dia tau bahwa kita berempati dengan apa yang ia rasakan.

Masuk ke peralatan 2 mengakui perasaan dengan tulisan. Ini berguna saat anak yang suka merengek sesuatu ketika pergi berbelanja daripada menjelaskan kepada anak alasannya tidak perlu merengek. Lebih baik kita menulis daftar keinginannya. Hm, bukankah itu membuat anak mengira semua keinginannya akan dipenuhi? Nope, justru cara ini dapat mencegah anak mengamuk dengan mengakui perasaan anak tanpa memanjakannya. Misal saat ia melihat mainan baru di mall, kita bisa bilang, “Kamu ingin sekali robot itu ya, ayo kita tulis didaftar keinginan” sehingga tidak langsung ditolak keinginannya namun orangtuanya mau mendengar apa yang ia rasakan saat menginginkan sesuatu dan secara tidak langsung menunda keinginannya.

Mengakui perasaan dengan seni sebagai peralatan 3, karna terkadang peralatan 1 dan 2 tidak cukup. Misal, anak yang terobsesi dengan kereta api namun rel kereta apinya hancur berantakan, sebelum ia meledak, penulis tidak mengatakan, “Tidak apa-apa, kita bisa memperbaikinya” namun mengakui perasaannya dengan, “Ah, menjengkelkan sekali! Kamu pasti tidak mau keretamu berantakan” lalu menggunakan papan tulis untuk mengajak anak menggambar perasaannnya dengan gambar wajah sedih dan 1 tetes air mata sehingga sang anak merasa didengar bahkan ikut menggambar banyak tetes air mata yang besar seakan mengatakan ia sesedih itu sampai ia puas dan tersenyum kembali.

Tetap saja seorang anak menginginkan sesuatu yang tidak mungkin kita berikan. Biasanya saat kita menjelaskan mengapa kita tidak bisa memberikannya, anak akan marah dan tidak mau mendengar. Jadi mari gunakan peralatan 4; Berikan fantasi yang tak dapat kita berikan dalam realitas. Ketika seorang anak yang merengek dan marah karena tiba-tiba harus pindah kerumah baru, maka penjelasan sulit didengar sehingga kita bisa menggunakan fantasi setelah sebelumnya mengakui perasaan kalau ia benar-benar sedih harus pindah, lalu menanyakan apakah ia mau memilih rumah baru dan bagaimana rumah yang ia inginkan.

Dengan empat peralatan tadi saya jadi menyimpulkan, dalam mengakui perasaan anak agar ia dapat berkomunikasi dengan baik kepada orangtua tanpa meledak-ledak, maka kita harus menangkap emosinya, tidak memanipulasinya, dan memahaminya seperti kalimat “Yaampun, menyebalkan sekali! Hari ini parah sekali, semua orang menyudutkanmu”. Bahkan terkadang kita harus menahan keinginan untuk menanyai anak yang sedang jengkel khususnya ketika ia tidak tau alasan ia marah. Frasa-frasa semacam “Kamu tampak bersedih”, “Pasti terjadi sesuatu”, “Ada yang bikin kamu kecewa” akan memancing anak bercerita.

Peralatan terakhir di bab pertama yaitu akui perasaan dengan perhatian (yang hampir) tanpa suara. Cara ini mungkin tidak begitu menarik tapi efeknya besar. Cukup berempati dengan kata, “Wow, “Oh”, “Mmm”, atau “Wah”. Tentunya dibarengi dengan telinga kita yang mendengarkan mereka atau menggeram dengan simpati untuk memasuki perasaan anak. Tanpa perlu tiba-tiba memberi nasihat, pertnyaan ataupun koreksi supaya tidak mencegah mereka berproses. Karna yang paling penting dan perlu kita berikan pada mereka adalah perhatian penuh dan kepercayaan untuk melakukan semua itu.