blog is repurposed to be a personal and vent account. i'll try to properly tag any triggering topics (pls let me know if i should add a warning anywhere!)
DNI: standard DNI (racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, misogynist, ableist, etc), lolisho, AI supporters
my art tags: #old-gehnon-art, #gehnon art, #non sketch ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
!!TW/CW i talk a lot abt my mental health issues, self harm, sometimes suicidal ideation!!
• i like drawing (though i often struggle with art block). The Magnus Archives, Deltarune (+ Undertale), Disco Elysium. animals, especially Giant Salamanders!! music: sea power, the front bottoms, car seat headrest, toby fox, vocaloid, lemon demon, ajj
• main diagnosis BPD/EUPD, then GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and OCD traits
• trans guy (agenderflux/manflux, transmasc... still figuring it out). biromantic ace-spec (maybe demi maybe fully ace, not sure) - but i definitely like all genders!!
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i hate my hips so fucking much!! the number one thing to get me misgendered. not even my chest, i manage to hide that shit with a binder and baggy clothes. but my hips always show!!
i hate it!!! i wish i could get surgery to get a rectangle build
i know guys advise working out and building up shoulders and back to counteract the hips - but i dont want to be jacked... but i wish i could get rid of the parts that make me super dysphoric and then work on myself
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i think i'll just quit. i'll send the email abt the purchase and quit
i hate being so naive and so easy to manipulate. im so submissive it makes me sick. i just do whatevdr they want from me and act like i dont mind... but i do. i hate when peoople assume ill just do something for them bc i did something for them in the past
i will help you but i dont want it to be a certainty that im so easy and willing to help. i hate it i hate it i hate it
im so fucking anxious. i should just let them know abt it... but it will break their trust. i want to throw up. why did they have to ask that??
i wasted every chance i got. its laughable how useless and irresponsible i am
i still see suicide as a way out when it gets too much and i get too scared and desperate. i despise being an adult and being so terrified of responsibility
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my mother keeps misgendering me... in public!! using my dead name and grammatical femininum
i fucking hate this. i feel terrible and i have to put up with this shit on top of it... i have a deep voice already and dress like a guy - im always scared of humiliation at least and aggression at worst
ive been out to her for 2 years already, when does it change?? i was patient in the beginning but now im just disappointed and feel disrespected and not taken seriously
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i know its bad for me, but i cant find a reason why i should stop
i tell myself "i have it under control, i do it safely. what's the issue??!!"
i've had this dilemma since i started back when i was 12. i first hid it but then i didnt care. why should i? no one cared anyways. one teacher asked me abt it, thats it
my therapist is forcing me to stop (when we first met i was upfront that i struggle to see why i should stop self harming). but i want to self harm, and this rule she's trying to enforce makes me want to rebel and makes my urges stronger
now i do it almost every day, again. i had a long pause (i think almost 6 months) but the stress got me to start up again