never beating the dog allegations

i'm perfectly fine except for the problems

I wish you could actually generate animals out of nothing like in those medieval manuscripts. Just leave a bucket of special mud in my living room and ruin my whole house with frogs. Wouldn't that be fun? (Holds your hand + blushes)

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

if you shine a flashlight at a white person you can see them more clearly and in greater detail than if you are looking at them in the dark

you’re so fucking spoiled you get to pick out which radiator you get chained to

Saw something magical today. Kid in front of us on our flight (prob 4-5 years old) playing a wordle type game and his two first guesses were MOMMY and DADDY

Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now

(eating a pillbug i found on the floorbug of the club bathroombug) hopebug it's a placebug. I don't need any effectbugs right nowbug

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce