DOUBLE OP♡EN HEART

you know what. yes. i do got pussy taste splendiferous disorder.

we can all learn something of resiliency from these beautiful, deeply stupid creatures

People tagging like gore or animal death need to know the one in the first image is possibly just fine! That entire area of the body is pure muscle and it looks already healed. It will just be living its life like a bitten cookie.

Glam kitchen woman and that twink who makes old dessert recipes are on different ends of the same spectrum I just don’t know what that spectrum is yet

you know i got that wiimote strap on

i didn’t mean it like that and y’all know it :(

Sometimes corporate speak is good.  For example, Space X calling their rocket explosion a “rapid unscheduled disassembly” is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week

They said they were holding steady, not that they were holding healthy.

“Patient’s vitals are steady.” “Doctor… They’re dead.” “And maintaining that state quite well.”

How in the hell.

What does she do?!

I just realized this is Stephen King and I dunno why but that’s fucking hysterical to me

The fact Stephen King calls his dog a Thing of Evil makes me feel so SEEN

i wish i was a thing of evil getting banned from my second petco

The fact that the thing of evil makes Stephen King so happy is a good thing. Animals make people smile and this is good

"Quivering" is my least-favourite word in the english language. Nothing and nobody should be quivering. If you're quivering right now, stop that shit immediately. Tremble or shake if you must but the quivering has to stop.

This is such a finely aged post