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al-ssahan-deactivated20260425

How it feels to like a mutual's post within 10 seconds of it being posted

segamascott

anthonycolonthree

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

theconcealedweapon

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Sometimes I forget I can sew and remembering that I made a 4 foot long (8 feet including the tail) possum plushie and that's like not a thing most people can do

z-nogyrop

imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to

and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.

and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth

imagine

z-nogyrop

now realize that this is what bees have done to us

beesmygod

What are some smart sounding things you can say out loud while reading a book in public

a dry chuckle and a "how droll" is a classic. shows youre above the material but recognize its attempts to amuse you

ichorknight

driving my chevy to the levee today

ichorknight

what the fuck

nerves-nebula

me and this random couple are going to see sinners this friday

nerves-nebula

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

cryoverkiltmilk

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

nerves-nebula

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

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hollywoods

TRUE BLOOD 2.04 | "Shake and Fingerpop"

ttaibhse

love this can’t believe it only has 1 like

o-craven-canto

Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:

catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscope universe -> monostrophe

ouroborosorder

had this image appear in my mind after falling asleep while playing pokemon with my friend at 3 AM. I was crylaughing while trying to describe it to him

toskarin

I think a lot about this one twitter post where someone, lacking a few crucial pieces of information, says "you know jesus wasn't real" (not really the popular stance among non-religious scholars these days, but fair enough) "and neither was muhammad" (the degree of historical attestation here is a bit different)

toskarin

the first point's buy-in is that multiple accounts fabricate the presence of a preacher, the second point's buy-in is that the entire arabian peninsula woke up one fine morning and decided it was conquered

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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koheletgirl

give closeted roles to closeted actors

dragongirlsweetie

i like how apples are like. the default object

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