howling soul

The sound she makes coaxes a rumbling laugh from him. The moment feels strange, but not in a bad way – not at all. Amusement rolls through him at this unusual scenario, and then she pets him and that thought is over with immediately. 

Being pet? It’s the best damn thing in the world. Being praised for his appearance? Happiness floods through him and his tail wags ever faster, thumping against the dirt. He’s thrilled! Seluna’s getting nothing other than the go-ahead to keep petting, and evidence that he loves it.

Alfendi’s tongue lolls out of his mouth as he pants happily, eyes sliding shut when she brushes against his neck, and he lifts his head to give her access to the patch of fur under it. Normally he’d never let anyone touch there but she clearly means no harm and has no means to harm right now. He is safe, he is happy, he is strong. 

Being Garou isn’t a curse at all. Now he finally understands, really understands.

Seluna keeps petting the werewolf like no one’s business, as if Alfendi hasn’t transformed into one of the most dangerous creatures in the world. For all she cares, she’s in the company of a packmate now and she will shower him with affection as if she’s always known him. When the wolf lifts his head to give her better access to his neck, Seluna’s eyes catch a glimpse of what looks like a patch of bare skin on his chest; A scar where fur hasn’t grown, right over his heart. The woman frowns, remembering how her own body is full of patches like those, but she can’t help but wonder how Al got something like that on his chest and lived.

She raises her eyes, not daring to ask. Firstly because he wouldn’t be able to explain clearly and, secondly, she doesn’t want to cross boundaries further than she was allowed to. There’s just a hint of sadness and worry in her eyes, clearly not liking the thought that a friend suffered such a wound in the past.

His tail wags in contentment at her excitement. How can he not react to Seluna’s glee? It’s adorable. The look in her eyes is endearing. It’s strange to have forged a connection so quickly with someone he barely knew before all of this strangeness happened, but even if she is human now he recognizes something in her and is responding to it. Maybe that’s why.

Of course he’s amazing! Or just really, really good at controlling himself. … It’s probably Fendi who’s fronting right now, actually, considering how calm he is. And Fendi’s a pro at suppressing and controlling. That’s probably the more likely scenario.

He eyes the approaching hand with some concern, waiting for permission to be asked and once it is, the wolf dips his head to keep his mouth away from her fingers. It also looks like a nod. Words are difficult, but body language is easier for him now.

Seluna has been given permission to touch the fur. It’s coarse and meant to protect, but fur is still fur and it’s fun to touch.

She waits patiently for a reaction - any reaction, ready to back off in case he growled at her - and when the wolf lowers his head to better offer it to pets, Seluna can’t help making a silly sound between a laughter and a “yay”. She still manages to control herself enough to sink her slender fingers slowly in his deep red fur, not at all bothered by the blood stains here and there.

Yes, the fur is coarse and not as soft as Stutt’s, her corgi, but there’s still a hint of awe in her eyes while she looks at her own hand threading through it. The fur’s longer on the head, reminding her of Alfendi’s hair and she would be a liar if she said she never imagined how it would be touching it.

“You’re a very pretty wolf, other than a skilled hunter” she admits shamelessly, her eyes searching his. Those yellow irises of his remind her those of a real wolf, something that makes her feel even more at home. “A Garou petting another Garou… a new world has opened up for us.”

He remains still as she approaches, not displaying any defensive behavior – or anything aggressive, either. The wolf does lick at his muzzle to clean it of excess blood, but otherwise remains neutral in pose.

Name? Yes, he has a name. It’s in his head. But speaking as a wolf, with a wolf’s mouth, is a complicated affair.  “Al,” he manages. It’s close enough to a sound that canines make without ascribing it to a name. However, wolves are not known for their pronounciation of the letter ‘f’. For now, ‘Al’ will have to do.

“S’luna?” ‘E’ is also a difficult letter. He’s working with what he’s got for now. If she’s unsure of his feelings on the situation right now, reading his emotions gives back a self-sustained calmness. For now, Alfendi is cool-headed and in control of himself.

There goes the cold mind mantra down the drain. A big dumb smile spreads on her face when Al attempts - and somehow manages - to say the first syllable of his name. It’s just his first transformation and he can already communicate! She’s so proud of him! And it’s a miracle she isn’t tackle hugging him. A small gasp escapes her when he says her name as well, almost whole even. There’s a sparkle of joy in her eyes that shines brighter than the full moon above their heads.

“Yes it’s me, Seluna.” She kneels in front of him, forgetting that she’s next to a beast that could bite her head off with little effort, but she doesn’t care about it anymore. She’s still Garou in her heart and she’s with her kind now. “The first transformation is always difficult to control but you’re doing just so good! You’re amazing!”

Her right hand is already moving toward his head when she realizes what she’s about to do and stops half-way, palm and fingers longing to feel his fur against them.

A pause, waiting for her to approach and when she doesn’t, Alfendi tears into his meal. He crunches bone between his teeth and gets at the marrow inside. Maybe he’s a natural. Maybe his wilder demeanour as a human prepared him for minutes like this, unrestrained and able to let instinct guide him. Or maybe he’s just lucky.

Blood lines his muzzle, staining dark red even darker. Time passes as he strips meat from the bone and devours it, leaving some of the internals untouched. A gut full of half-chewed grass is kind of gross, after all. Soon enough, he’s eaten enough to be satisfied for the moment and claws at the earth, burying the remnants under dirt.

He sits upon all fours, now focused on Seluna again. Even sitting like this, the inspector is still incredibly tall, but he’s much more relaxed. His tail swishes lazily and ears turn this way and that to catch the sounds of the wildlife. Alfendi can think much more clearly now.

A strange rumble rises from his chest. He’s trying to speak.

Seluna lets the wolf eat in peace, observing him curiously. She’s done what he’s doing now plenty of times and now she feels like looking at her own Crinos form from a different angle. The gruesome sight doesn’t bother her as it bears a sense of familiarity, but the carcass’ scent start irritating her nose soon enough even if her sense of smell is a lot lessened. She can’t help a giggle when he start digging to bury his prey, that instinct coming natural to him without anyone having to explain it to him.

She blinks when she hears that grumble coming from his throat. Is he trying to communicate? The way he looks at her suggests so and she looks at him with awe in her eyes.

She remains unmoved and somehow unimpressed, which pricks further at him. When he snarls, people back away! They listen! Why not now?! Why not?! But something is pushing through, a memory trying to emerge. That tone is so familiar… why is it familiar?

He blinks, gaze starting to refocus. Something calming, something gentle and patient. Thoughts of family break into his head. Nights of being held and calmed after an outburst. Yes… that’s what this is like. Some furious part of him being carefully shushed and put to sleep – that’s what it reminds him of.

Seluna puts forth her hand and the scent of her combined with the stifling calm pressing on him like a heavy blanket finally gets through to him at last. Ah, of course. This is a friend. This is someone who can be trusted to guide him. The stiffness in Alfendi’s body slowly drains away as he recalls with more clarity than earlier. Saying his name doesn’t hurt either.

At the recognition of the word ‘deer’ he turns his head away to catch the wind in his snout, trying to scent the animal in question. As soon as he’s caught it and has the approximate location, Alfendi rushes down the hill and essentially football tackles a deer to the ground, seizing it in his jaw before proudly carrying it back up the hill.

Okay.

He drops it a few feet away from his friend (friend!!! it’s such a nice word) and watches her. The yellow eyes may be the same, but there’s a different look to them now.

Now that’s more like it. Alfendi’s seems to be more at ease, abandoning his aggressive stance for a more curious behavior, which Seluna welcomes with an endeared smile. She may be Garou, but this is the first time in all her life she finds herself interacting with another werewolf’s war-form, a strange sense of nostalgia threatening to take over.

She misses having a pack.

But then the beast looks off to the side, sniffing the thousands scents brought by the wind. Seluna can’t detect the deers of course, she just noticed them from afar when there was still enough light for her human eyes to see those brown speckles on the dark frozen grass. She gets startled and winces only when he lashes to the side, running down the hill toward his prey. A pained cry echoing through the night followed by the sound of dozens other animals running away tells her that Alfendi’s hunt ended successfully.

She awaits for him on top of the hill, sitting next to their backpacks. She’s almost going to reach for the lighter he’s given her, when she finally sees him coming back with that big adult deer on his maw.

Her attempt to display dominance is met with confusion and anger – why won’t she cower?! Why won’t she run?! His new mentality is still adjusting to this new everything, still reeling with echos of pain and the new pangs of hunger that threaten to overtake his rationality altogether.

Seluna, however, has kept her cool and stood up in the face of this war-form. She speaks and her words reach out to seize Alfendi’s wild heart, projecting a stillness that comes in with the cold. The fire burning in him splutters and flickers and he hesitates in the middle of preparing another lunge.

Claws slam down into the earth instead, flexing and digging into dirt. With his higher thinking still shaken and dazed by the transformation and the undeniable force of the moon, it’s barely a struggle for him to fight the influence of her empathic push.

His yellow eyes still hold no recognition for her just yet, but Alfendi has been momentarily stilled. How long will it last?

Seluna doesn’t move; she doesn’t come close, nor she backs off. She’s as unmovable as a mountain, her big eyes fixed into Alfendi’s with a seriousness that doesn’t belong to her. The way with which his claws dig into the ground doesn’t seem to impress her, who’s determined to stand her ground and not rouse his hunting instinct more.

“You’re hungry. I know that… transforming takes a lot of energy,” she continues with a very low tone of voice, trying to be as soothing as possible, her human mind easily recollecting the memories of her beast form. Once again, she tries to force calmness into Alfendi, along with a sense of familiarity that only another Garou can give. She’s like him. She’s of the pack. “But I’m not your prey. There should be deers down the hill, I’m sure you can smell them.”

That’s the only time she allows herself to smile -- with closed lips, lest he interpreted her showing teeth as a sign of aggressiveness. She puts a hand forward, both as a invite to calm down and to offer it for a sniff, ready to pull it away if she detected any suspect movement.

His eyes are wide and wild as he stares her down, shoulders raised, tail still and stiff and straight. Ears are swept forward, listening before he tries to rise on his back legs, preparing a swipe at her…  Only to fall forward again, still fumbling to adjust to this new form and its distribution of weight.

Alfendi bristles and snarls, and maybe right now is a good time to start moving. Running away is perhaps impossible at this point, but standing still will only let him slash and bite with only a bit of difficulty which is certainly not the desired behaviour.

Another attempt, this time resting his weight on his back legs and springing forward with claws primed.

Seluna observers his behavior, interpreting it as aggressive and probably a bit scared. That is natural, every werewolf is ready to fight after having endured the pain of change as soon as moonlight kisses their skin. She knows it.

When she notices he’s preparing himself for a real attack, she takes a step back, a slow one at first. She refuses to break eye contact with the beast, an attempt at displaying dominance in a way; a habit she yet hasn’t let go of. She finally leaps to the side when he slashes at her, her muscles tense and ready to move again if he ever tries again to scratch or bite her.

Cold mind, cold heart, cold blood. She keeps repeating those words in her brain, summoning as much calm as possible-- and it works. Inducing terror is yet another skill of Garou, but it’s not working on her and she can’t tell if it’s because she used to be Garou herself of if it’s her new cryokinesis powers helping her to stay focused. That’s when an idea crosses her mind.

Another step back to put some distance between her, and she starts focusing. Maybe she can use empathy. Maybe she can cool Alphendi’s mind as well.

The pain… he’s spent so long folding it into himself that hopefully it will be enough. What he’s felt in the past will be enough for him to pull it in instead of pushing it out and prolonging the pain. Alfendi nods, gaze darting to her out of the corner of his eyes before refocusing on the horizon. Waiting.

It’s not a curse. You aren’t a monster.

Alfendi can’t help but turn away from the full moon to look at her, a sad expression on his face, right hand reaching up to rest over the old scar. The smile on his face highlights his regret. “You’re right. This doesn’t make me a monster.” Not this… but something else.

The moon starts to climb into the sky behind him, and his smile becomes a grimace as his body starts to redistribute everything around. The pain is bearable at first, for approximately fifteen seconds. And then it isn’t.

Everything shifts, the sound of cracking and breaking barely audible over Alfendi screaming his throat raw, clawing at his shirt, his coat, shredding it with his increased bulk. Fur bristles over his skin, turning him a shade of dark red. He drops to all fours very quickly, gasping for air between his shrieks of pain. It’s all fire, it’s all agony. It’s unlike anything he’s felt before.

But at last the pain starts to die back as he completes the transformation, now a very large werewolf with golden eyes and shaggy, red fur. Senses are even sharper now, and his ears prick up and his tongue lolls out of his mouth before he lurches clumsily at Seluna with a raspy, threatening bark.

… His human mind has temporarily checked out.

That sad look on his face doesn’t pass unnoticed and Seluna has to fight the urge to put a hand on his shoulder and maybe give it a little squeeze, wrongly associating that sadness to his current predicament. She can’t do that now, though, she can’t show empathy. Cold mind, cold heart, cold blood-- that’s what she needs now.

She quickly takes a step back when he starts grimacing, looking east once again and getting confirmation that she better stay away from him while he changes. She doesn’t run away though, nor she hides, because she knows well how a predator thinks. Alfendi would easily detect her scent and follow it, and she wouldn’t have a chance of losing him.

So she just stands there, watching him writhe on frozen grass and suffer, his screams painful even for her less sensitive ears. She swallows when all that remains of him is a barking Crinos, cold sweat dripping from her temples as she forces herself to stay still, her teal eyes fixed on his yellow ones.