GarleMail Dispatch

R'mhiel arrived at the Edge of Creation, his piercing blue eyes scanning the barren landscape before him. He couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He knew the power of the place, and the risks of attempting to bring someone back from the dead were great. But he had a mission, and he knew he had to see it through.

The wind was cold and biting, whipping his long, silver hair around his face as he approached Zenos' lifeless body. R'mhiel felt a twinge of pity for the man who had caused so much destruction and chaos. But he knew that everyone deserved a second chance, and it was his duty to make that possible.

He had come alone, leaving behind the rest of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, knowing that this was a task only he could complete. He had a gift of Sight that allowed him to see things others couldn't, and in the past, he used that gift to help the Scions in their battle against the primals and other threats to Eorzea.

Now, R'mhiel stood over Zenos' lifeless body, his eyes closed as he focused his Sight on the Aetherial Sea. He felt the currents and eddies of the aether flowing around him, the ebb and flow of life and death.

He opened his eyes and looked down at Zenos, his lips pressed into a thin line. R'mhiel knew that Zenos had never found fulfillment in his life, that he had always been searching for something more. And yet, even in death, Zenos clung to his own emptiness.

R'mhiel knelt beside Zenos, his hand resting on the Garlean's chest. He closed his eyes once more, focusing his Sight on the aether within Zenos' body. He felt the faint flicker of life within him, the tenuous connection to the aether that kept his body from fading away.

R'mhiel channeled his own aether into Zenos, bolstering the weakened link between his body and soul. He felt the energy flow into Zenos, filling him with new life and vitality.

Zenos stirred, his eyes flickering open. He looked up at R'mhiel, confusion etched into his features.

"Where am I?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"You are at the Edge of Creation," R'mhiel said softly. "I have brought you back to life, Zenos."

Zenos sat up slowly, his gaze darting around the desolate landscape. "Why did you bring me back?" he asked.

R'mhiel replied. "To give you a second chance."

"I don't want a second chance," he said, his voice low and bitter. "I died as I lived, in pursuit of a worthy adversary. I have nothing left to live for."

R'mhiel shook his head. "You have a wife and child on the way," he reminded Zenos. "Don't you want to see them? To hold them in your arms?"

Zenos hesitated, his mind racing with conflicting emotions. He had always been a man of action, driven by the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of the kill. But now, faced with the possibility of a new life, he found himself unsure of what he truly wanted.

"I don't know," he said at last, his voice barely audible. "I've never found fulfillment in anything but battle."

R'mhiel placed a hand on Zenos' shoulder, his eyes steady and calm. "Perhaps that's because you never had the chance to find fulfillment elsewhere," he said. "But now, you do. You have a family waiting for you, a new purpose to live for."

Zenos looked up at him, searching for answers in his calm gaze. And then, slowly, he nodded.

"Very well," he said, his voice firm and resolute. "I will try to find fulfillment in this new life. For my wife, and for my child."

* * *

R'mhiel returned to his home in Sharlayan, feeling both relieved and apprehensive after his encounter with Zenos. He knew that he had done the right thing by giving the man a second chance, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he had opened a Pandora's box of sorts.

As he entered his study, R'mhiel was startled by a stirring of dark magic in the air. Mnemeion, his mentor, emerged from the void, looking more ominous than ever before.

"R'mhiel," the ancient creature intoned gravely, "What have you done? Your actions with Zenos could have grave consequences. You have disrupted the natural order of things."

R'mhiel bristled at the accusation. "I did what I thought was right. Zenos deserved a second chance."

"But at what cost?" Mnemeion countered. "Zenos is a dangerous man, and you have given him the opportunity to wreak havoc once again. You have also interfered with the natural cycle of life and death. Who knows what kind of ripple effects this could have?"

R'mhiel sighed, knowing that Mnemeion had a point. He had been so focused on the idea of redemption for Zenos that he hadn't fully considered the potential consequences of his actions.

"I know that it's a risk," R'mhiel admitted, "But I also believe that Zenos has the potential to change. He may have been misguided in the past, but perhaps with this second chance, he will find a new path."

Mnemeion's eyes glowed with an otherworldly light as he spoke. "You have always been too compassionate for your own good, R'mhiel. Your soul is the fragmented shard of Asclepius, and it burdens you with the desire to heal all wounds."

"I do what I can to make the world a better place," R'mhiel replied. "I know the risks of disrupting the natural order, but I believe it was the right thing to do."

Mnemeion regarded R'mhiel with a piercing gaze, as if assessing the younger man's resolve. Finally, he spoke.

"Very well, R'mhiel. But be warned: if Zenos proves to be a threat once again, it will fall on you to set things right. And if the natural order of things is further disrupted, there may be dire consequences."

R'mhiel nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. He knew that he would have to be vigilant, both in keeping an eye on Zenos and in balancing the scales of life and death. It was a heavy burden, but he was determined to see it through.

As Mnemeion faded back into the void, R'mhiel couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He had opened a door that he couldn't close, and only time would tell what kind of consequences would emerge from his actions.

------------------------------------------

The Warrior of Light and Zenos yae Galvus sat across from each other at a small table in a dimly lit tavern. Despite their recent duel, they both seemed to be in good spirits, each nursing a mug of ale.

Zenos raised his mug to the Warrior of Light. "You fought well," he said, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

The Warrior of Light nodded in acknowledgment. "As did you," they replied.

The two sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, sipping their drinks and enjoying the calm after the storm of their battle.

Finally, Zenos spoke up again. "You know," he said, "I think I understand you a bit better now. You fight not for glory or power, but for the sake of others. That's an admirable quality."

The Warrior of Light raised an eyebrow in surprise. They had not expected such insight from Zenos, of all people.

Zenos continued. "And yet, I still cannot bring myself to join your cause. I am a warrior, and I fight for the thrill of battle. It is in my blood."

The Warrior of Light nodded, understanding. "I don't expect everyone to see things the way I do. But I do believe that there is a place for both of our ideals in this world."

Zenos grunted in agreement. "Perhaps you are right. It is a strange thing, to find a worthy adversary and yet not wish to destroy them. Perhaps one day we will fight again, and one of us will emerge victorious."

The Warrior of Light smiled, raising their mug in a toast. "Until that day, then," they said.

Zenos raised his own mug in response, and the two clinked them together before taking another sip of their ale. For a brief moment, they were simply two warriors enjoying a drink together, their differences momentarily set aside.

------------

The XXth Legion Welcomes a New Legatus.

Garlemald - 15th Sun, First Astral Moon - Following the retirement of Baringarius van Valgus, Eolus van Faustinus returns to the XXth Legion as their new Legatus Legionis. 

Although a former Curiosi for the Agentes in Rebus—an investigatory schola of the Royal Guard under the jurisdiction of the magistrate—Fautinus's notable past military service included his tour with the XIVth Legion, where he received the moniker, "The Viper of Dalmasca," for his marksmanship.  

Nearly a decade ago, Faustinus also served as the XXth Legion's Tribunus Laticlavius. However, he resigned following the tragic murder of Lady Carmina—the daughter of Senator Cyrus yae Galvus. Sources indicate that Fautinus joined the investigation and subsequently played a vital role in bringing the perpetrator to justice.

Incidentally, Faustinus's reinstatement and posting to the XXth Legion follows a recent sweep of initiatives pushed by the Senate to audit military facilities and resources... Kupo.

Author: Mogium bas Kupodius

Eorzean log, First Astral Moon, Fourth Week.

               Have observed a good number of savages frolicking around in various shades of blue shooting what appeared to be water into each others faces. Such individuals claim to be in possession of a “special soul stone” capable of allowing them to harvest the abilities of nearly anything, even a primal. Seeing how many of them look like they’d find navigating an Ul’dah tavern dangerous one can only assume that a new type of drug has infected the savage population here. We have called in “Blue Mage Blues” in honor of how awful they all look and hope the military can finally get around to deploying the full might of the empire in capturing Ul’dah.

Please…they need help. Do it for the Lalafell children.

                 With absolutely no love,

               Deep-Cover 1.

               P.S

ARCHIVAL DATE: Third Week of the Fourth Umbral Moon, Seventh Astral Age

ORIGINATION: G.I.N Headquarters: The most trusted name in Imperial News since the fire in the competition’s distribution center. We don’t know anything about it.

From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

Garlemail wishes to report to GIN the sudden rise in interest toward the 'Theatric Arts' amongst Eorzean denizens. My field reporters stumbled across numerous instances in which the locals seemingly displayed a grasp of drama far exceeding the limited sophistication typical of a primary school production.

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

The editor is intrigued by this sudden discovery. However, he wishes to know why this is the reason for contacting us when you’ve missed your last few deadlines?

From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

To Our Lord Executive Editor, the Esteemed Mogimum van Kupodeus, whose fair and balanced approach serves as an example to us all:

As you may know, my company employs only the best war correspondents that Garlemald has to offer. That said, these 'Deep Covers' are difficult to replace when they wander off on unscheduled wine tours. Likewise, earns temporary confinement in gaol for fighting with the local denizens. Alternatively, shirks his assigned post to avoid payments toward accrued debts. Lastly, vanishes without forewarning thus leaving me with her child. (If any within your cohort happens to see Deep-Cover 4, inform her that she is late for her performance review.)

Concerning your first question, I believe that herein lies an opportunity. To facilitate the study of this fascinating cultural development amongst the Eorzeans,  we must needs conduct a series of tests, interviews, and observations. We will need additional supplies to accomplish these tasks within the relevant Eorzean city-states. As a more culturally progressed nation, Ishgard will be exempt from this initial study. Conversely, so too will Ala’mhigo--seemingly, their literature has not yet evolved past exchanges of vulgarity, shrieking about salt, and copulating randomly in-between attacks from snake gods.

Please review the attached objectives, budget, and a detailed list of line-items.

With sincere appreciation,

R'phael mal Cursor

R'phael mal Cursor

Editor-in-Chief, GIN-Garlemail

Chief Operations Officer, Whirlycog Tinkershop

Praefectus Architectorum, Castrum Nova

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

The editor has agreed that this would merit study. The empire's theatre troupe, despite their sudden travels out of Imperial lands, would take great interest in such a story, as would their fans. We’ve reviewed your budget and have only minor concerns.

1. For why do you need to study the “Eorzean Hangover Cure-All”?

2. For what purpose does isolating a savage for hours in a darkened, with minimal food and weather, and only reading from the Imperial theater troupe's playbook serve?

3. Why must this study of savage's appreciation for reading involve a chair with metal rods in the seat attached to a magitek battery?

4. Must we, really, purchase enough wine to serve an Imperial banquet simply so you can test its effect on the appreciate for theater?

5. What results are you hoping to find if we funded this idea for a “Half-Naked Miqo Theater Show”?

From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

To Our Lord Executive Editor, the Esteemed Mogimum van Kupodeus, whose name is most trusted in the dissemination of noteworthy information on today's important events:

We have several hypotheses regarding what caused the rise of theatric interest within Eorzea's Balmungean subculture.  

Addressing your first question: this study explores the hypothesis that the sudden rise in the quality of Eorzea's theatric arts is due to the distribution of a new narcotic that allegedly invokes a heightened sense of mental clarity. As a new development that only recently came to my attention, I  have elected to assign the narcotic's testing to two popotos in my employ.

Addressing your second question: this study investigates whether there are any internal or evolutionary factors contributing to the rise in Eorzean intelligence. We will isolate test subject to determine whether the subject's productive state persists when removed from external influences.

Addressing your third question: this is a continuation of the previous study. Other test groups will see how specific external factors, such as pain, may influence productivity.

Addressing your fourth question: this study explores the impact that external factors have on the test subjects. Many Eorzean theatric performances seem to take place near establishments that sell wine. My staff hypothesizes that there may exist of batch permanently heightens the literary and theatric capacity of Eorzeans, or may temporary alter them to appear as such.

Addressing your fifth question:  this study explores how population density and stage behavior affects literary and theatric consumption.  This experiment will be conducted within a packed venue. On-stage actors will start to their performance in the nude and will be introduced gradually to increasing amounts of attire. A count of participants will compare how many viewers remain with fully clothed actors versus the number present at the initiation of the performance.

With sincere appreciation,

R'phael mal Cursor

R'phael mal Cursor

Editor-in-Chief, GIN-Garlemail

Chief Operations Officer, Whirlycog Tinkershop

Praefectus Architectorum, Castrum Nova

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

Requests approved.

A magitek recorder will be dispatched along with the approved budget. All tests are to be thoroughly recorded. Failure to record all tests, for my amusement, will result in another trip to Castrum Nova's Officiorum Generalis Rebus.

Briefing filed by:

G.I.N Headquarters

The most trusted name in Imperial news because we simply are. You are not. Shut your office and take your savage-level intelligence and piss off. G.I.N is superior, kupo.

  From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “The editor once again wishes to know what your “cohort” has been busy doing since we’ve received nothing but complaints from your local office over the quality of their chairs.”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                “This is Deep-Cover 4: I don’t know what the other idiots are doing but I’ve been investigating an interesting development. Will send a report when ready.”

  From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “If you wish to continue receiving pay someone will send us a report. Immediately.”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                Deep-Cover 1: “Did you know that idiot had a brother?! A brother! That idiot has a brother!! Someone summon the Imperial Guard or whatever our military police is called!”

                Deep-Cover 3: “What are you screaming about now you annoying popoto?!”

                “Deep-Cover 4: “That charming husband of mine has a brother lurking about Eorzea without Imperial authorization. I need intelligence information on this issue. (And his marriage status!) SHUT UP, DEAR SISTER!”

                Deep-Cover 1: “CALL ME A POPOTO AGAIN AND I’LL MAKE SURE TO VIIST YOU PERSONALLY!! ME AND TWO, COMIN TO YA HOUSE YA TRUMPED UP WANNABE SHARYLAN!”

                Deep-Cover 3: “By Thal, I’ve lost intelligence listening to you again. Why is it that, over an open channel, both of our screaming banshee’s are shouting at once?”

                Deep-Cover 4: “Careful there, boy. I’ll have that whore you dating arrested.”

                Deep-Cover 3: “Please, my dear companion, leave my personal life out of your own issues with our editor. Just because he hasn’t taken the time to touch your rabid, savage-level body doesn’t mean I will.”

                Deep-Cover 4: “….You and I will being having a “chat”. (Claw your eyes out!)”

                Deep-Cover 3: “Will you please shut that thing up you claim as a sister up?”

                Deep-Cover 1: “How about you shut up and actually report on something properly for once?!”

                Deep-Cover 3: “Very well. I wish to report to our Legion commander that the Garlemail Cohort has two completely incompetent female workers using their positions here as an excuse to tastes “savage bodies” rather than help extend the empire’s reach.”

  From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “What in all manner of savage stupidity is wrong with you all? We want an actual report on the current status of Eorzea!”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                Deep-Cover 5: “Trade routes between the lost province and Eorzea are growing slower then some traders want. Apparently, the Ala-idiots haven’t learned much and somehow think Eorzea owes them for the right to lose men and get drawn into a war they didn’t want. Inform the military that a good way to test our airships weapons would be to visit said province and just target anything. Blow it all up. Especially the bar they opened up in the captured Castrum. I ain’t payin that tab for shite beer.”

                Deep-Cover 2: “While they’re at it, turn some of those cannons on that building the Doman’s call their new “capital”. I had to go all the way there to help fetch something for you “glorious embassy”. Just blow it all up. With fire. Lots of fire. Just cover it all with fire. The stupidity makes even my “savage” mind hurt. I want to find that “Warrior of Light”, kidnap them, and lock them in the embassy basement. I suddenly have a strong desire to see my fellow “savages” running around screaming because their vaunted hero is missing.”

  From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “Neulemail Cohort will dispatch agents to locate Garlemail’s editior at once. I wish to know who this “brother” is, why he’s not listed in his file, which of your agents can assist Intelligence officers in finding this “brother” for “questioning”, and provide a reason as to why Garelmail’s sole “savage” agent is far away in Doma assisting in the recovery of personal items.

Briefing filed by:

Garlemail Cohort

The most trusted name in Imperial news since WHERE IS MY REPORT FROM THOSE GARLEMAIL MORONS?! FIND THEM BEFORE I USE MY IRON FIST ON YOU ALL, KUPO!.

  From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “Editor-in-chief requests reason why this weeks submission is nothing but a recipe of Eorzean fried chocobo, a promise of two bottles of wine, directions of a “private establishment” within the savage city-state of Limsa, discussion on delivering missing pay, and a pair of tickets to “Limsa Lominsa’s Love Pirate Theater Show”?”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                “The Editor, umm, must have sent the wrong…package. (Told him he was sendin the wrong one.) Hush, they can here you. (So what?)”

--

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “May we ask where our briefing for this week is?”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                “It, uhh, would. It would appear to be traveling by courier from our Ul’dah forward HQ into the Black Shroud towards an Imperial spy camp.”

--

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “The Editor-in-Chief would like to know if this “spy camp” is Camp Solan. The same Camp Solan operated by a rotating team of Imperial spies which comprises several talented soldiers as well as one of your editors “wives”?”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                “Garlemail Cohort has no knowledge of any Imperial forward bases operating within Eorzean territory. (Yes we do.) BY THAL, SHUT UP! (What? He sent it up to that bi*muffled noises*) Garlemail has no knowledge of Imperial forward camps, ever.”

--

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “The Editor-in-Chief wishes to remind your cohort that trips to Castrum Nova are quite expensive. In lieu of another such trip we shall contact members of the Imperial Intelligence agency. The first of our favors shall be to communicate this message to its proper destination. The second shall be to contact operatives within Limsa and provide a reward for the first that finds your editor and explains to him the meaning of the word “deadline”.

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                “Uh, surely that isn’t needed. Garlemail can dispatch its own into the Shroud and recover the missing documents. (What now?) They want to send operatives! (Oh? OH! ….oh. Heh, tell ‘em…Tell ‘em we’ll go find his catness at once!)  Yeah! We’ll find him! Don’t you worry yourself with trips to Intelligence…ever. Please?”

--

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “With all due respect to our more “colorful” Cohort, but we wouldn’t trust you to open an already open can.”

  From Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ to GIN HQ

                “Ey! I heard that! Ya trumped up Imperial*muffled noises* -he means, we object to that statement…good Legion…sir?”

--

From GIN HQ to Garlemail Cohort Eorzea HQ

                “Message from the Garlean Imperial News commander for delivery to Garlemal Cohort commander and staff:

I don’t pay you to *censored* your idiot staff. I pay you to send ME the information I need to keep the population aware of how stupid the people you’re around are! Now stop acting like a bunch of Eorzean Moogles high on Kupo nuts and DO YOUR JOB! If I have to come out there I’ll be smashing every single object in that “inn” I pay for over every one of your heads, kupo!

                Addendum: When Intelligence is finished with your editor please provide them with the requested gil amount from your operating budget. We shall discuss its repayment at the next visit to Castum Nova.”

  Words to Live By:

Attention Deep Covers 3, 4, and 5:

I am trying to reach out to those two Lalafel members amongst my field reports in Eorzea. Due to recent unforeseen events outside the Imperial territory, communication with them has been cut off. If you happen across these two individuals, please tell them to report to HQ, immediately.

For your convenience, an artist’s rendition of these two is attached.

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Garlemail’s Best and Finest Agents

A special report on those Garlemail trusts to help bring you the best and most trusted name in Imperial news

  Deep Cover One – Ququsi jen Qusi

Deep Cover Two – Zuzukuta dus Rerekuta

  So, the basics. You two are married?

DC1: Of course we’re married! Why else you’d think we be together all the time?!

DC2: Yeah! You ever tried to be around a stubborn one like her all day? Ain’t good.

DC1: Ye-wait, WHAT?!

DC2: Oh, nothing my beautiful rose.

  Your files don’t list you are Garlean citizens, is that true?

DC1: Technically correct. I was born in a Garlean province but taken to the shroud soon after. I claim citizenship by birth, but I still must climb the same ladder the others must climb.

Dc2: Born and raised in that great pirate nation…to a pair of drunks.

DC1: Oh stop, your parents are such “lovely” beings.

DC2: My rose, be quiet.

DC1: There are such lovely people that I think we should interview them!

DC2: No.NO NO NO! ABSOLUTLEY NOT!!

DC1: Hmm, is that a no? Then perhaps you should find our wine for the night then, no?

DC2: You blackmailing bitch!

DC1: My prince is so hostile at times.

DC2: DON’T YOU START WITH ME!

  Heh, come now. I’m sure we can all be civil here. Next question: How did you come to serve?

DC1: I’d rather not say how I got in contact with the empire. Once contact was made I offered my services as a field medic to any one operating within the shroud. Eventually I was asked to shift to Thanalan and was “picked up” by G.I.N after I made several reports on savage activities.

DC2: I’m only here cause she’s here. Stupidest marriage idea at times…

DC1: We could always separate? You know, I met this lovely Lalafell engineer during my last trip to Castrum Nova. He was…

DC2: ENOUGH! I swear to Thal, I’ll burn this whole place to the ground!

DC1: Behave yourself. After all, I was only offering a way for you to leave and me to test the limits of an Imperial engineer.

DC2: We’re about to test the fireproofing of your uniform.

DC1: DEAR! We’re being recorded. Save your fantasies for home.

DC2: You, but..STOP DOING THAT!!

  Ehh, mayhap we should continue. How was it that both of you were recruited into G.I.N? The other two cohorts list several requirements for their agents that you fail to meet.

DC1: The unit I was assigned to as a medic was recalled to reinforce Ala’dongo but they skipped the airship and just sorta “vanished”. My guess was that they had better things to do then visit that shite hole. I was left to keep sending my reports in and suddenly, outta the blue, this aggravating cat lady shows up in Ul’dah. Two frustrating and enraging dinners later and ANOTHER cat shows up. Hands me some “news” devices, papers, and a stack of orders. Before I know it I’m in random buildings watching people strutting around a stage as strangers show bids at them, all so my boss can inform everyone that savages are still stupid.

DC2: She goes off on one of her trips to that castrum place. I’m walking Ul’dah, doing my own thing, and suddenly a cloth is over my face. Next thing I know I’m suspended upside down in a room as that same damn cat lady is staring at me. To my utter joy, she’s brought even more cats with her. They proceed to poke and prod me with questions and jolts of electricity before finally deciding I’m just an ignorant savage and knock me out. Wake up outside our house in Ul’dah with the same nonsense she was given along with a note saying they’d turn me into the blades if I double cross them.

DC1: And we’ve been joyful partners in this ever since!

DC2: Yeah, a real hoot…

DC1: Would you look at this? I’ve found that engineers address.

DC2: I mean, yeah. It’s been nothing short of magical sharing both work and marriage with her…

DC1: Ahh, my mistake, it’s just the address of a wine maker.

  Funnily enough, that brings us to our next question: Wine. Why so much wine?

DC1: Wine is love

DC2: Wine is life

DC1: Embrace the wine

DC2: Embrace ascension.

  …. Okay, not at all creepy…Um, as citizens with savage blood, do you partake in their use of Aether?

DC1: My “jen” title is because I willingly study the healing arts.

DC2: I like fire.

DC1: Yes yes, we all know. Stop pretending you’re a blackmage.

DC2: Better than a piss-poor white mage wannabe.

DC1: YOU WANNA FIGHT YA THALMATURGE FAILURE?!

DC2: AT LEAST I AIN’T HAVIN TO STEAL BOOKS TO LEARN!

*At this point our recording was interrupted by a small fire breaking out. Luckily, the damages to the room were contained when the fire was put out by severe winds…inside the room….*

  Are we calm down now?! Good! Final question. Should the savagelands of Eorzea be saved?

DC1: Save Ul’dah! Flip a coin on the others!

DC2: Save Limsa! It’s got our wine!

DC1: Ul’dah has our gil!

DC2: BUT THE WINE!

DC1: BUT THE GIL!

DC2: WINE!

DC1: GIL!

DC2: Save Limsa! We can have all the wine we want after you suck the gil out of the local castrum!

*The recording was again interrupted by severe winds inside the room resulting in, somehow, a wall collapsing. The room subsequently caught fire and our interview was thus ended. *

  There you go! Two of Garlemails best and finest agents! Join us next time as we talk with Garlemail’s cat. Which cat? The gil whore or the smart one? Heh…Garlemail and intelligence, two words that don—are you still typing?! DON’T RECORD THIS YOU STUPID SAVAGE MONKEY!!

Briefing filed by:

Multiple Cohorts

The most trusted name in Imperial news. Anyone who disagrees shall be made to dress up in a bunny outfit and dance for my amusement.

  G.I.N Special - Opinion Piece

Are Imperial Moogles the next to be elevated to citizens?

A Case for “Yes”

by Neulemail Cohort

                  Of course. The empire would do well to elevate anyone of worth to citizenship. It has nothing to do with “softening” our image or “elevating” ignorant savages. It makes sense purely on the matter of making the empire better. Our leaders shall always be Garlean. Our people shall always lead our empire. But just because the masses of others are unfit to even spit on doesn’t mean there are exceptions.

                Why, just look out at the places where our empire considers “equal”. When the empire formed, I doubt anyone would have thought we’d say such things. But here we are, with embassy’s in neutral ports and cities. How about the residents of said cities and ports? Many a tradesman and farmer has come into our empire and gifted us with the product of their skill and labor. Any who can make us better should be allowed to make us better.

                “But Moogles are just aggravating balls of fluff that float around eating all our food, stealing our toilet rolls, and setting the animals on fire for fun!” you might say. True, many of them (Eorzean especially) are nothing more than future snack bites for our pets should we ever get a hold of them but let’s not assume all are like that. The hallmark of a savage is the notion that anyone from our empire is evil. Let us not sink to the lows of such ignorant savages. Filthy animals.

                “Won’t they just get in the way?” You ask shuddering at the thought of their fur floating ungodly close to your face asking all manner of dumb questions. “Nonsense!” We say back. Imagine the uses of such balls of fur along our borders. Never again would we need to fear a savage sneaking up on an asleep soldier as these brave Moogles would keep our troops up throughout their entire tours. How about 5th column activity? Send them in to lead the foolish savage out of their cover and into our waiting arms. For what? Just some nuts and a roof? We almost can’t afford not to employ these creatures already.

                And let us not forget domestic security. Where our great works of magitek fail at remaining concealed these flying hairballs could watch from above. We need not root out treason and insurrection, Moogles in every city would hear and see everything our troops would need.

                  It is in the best interest of the empire to quickly move forth and call for this idea. For the empire!

  A Case for “No”

By Garlemail Cohort

                  We here at Garlemail pride ourselves with the extensive knowledge of the savagelands gained through our deep-cover agents. As such, we feel we’re in the best position to give the empire and fair and balanced answer.

                No.

                By Thal No. Did you just read what you asked? No! NO! Rather go fishing using only my teeth. We’ve all had our fair share of savageland wine in the name of research but, even at the “height” of said research, we’ve never ONCE thought of something that dumb. Just reading that question is enough to cause any proud citizen to be reduced to a blabbering savage for five seconds.

                Put your bottle down before ever asking us such a question.

  The Final Word

By the Cohort at home whose name we’ve lost.

                  Clearly the case put forth by the “Yes” has no signs of compulsion of withholding of budgets if the answer is negative. Conversely, the case for “No” is clearly just a bitter popoto speaking for her cohort again after being asked to purchase several casks of wine for a Legion banquet to host members of the military.

                The empire should elevate Imperial Moogles. As the people wish…. kupo.

    G.I.N Editorial staff would like to clarify that no one was threatened or blackmailed during this assignment. All answers are genuine and based on significant questioning of fellow citizens at pubs during heavy drinking times.

Briefing filed by:

Garlemail Cohort

The most trusted name in Imperial news. All others shall be accused of treason.

  Life within the Empire

                The throne has issued a statement reminding all “news” sources to avoid asking questions concerning rumors coming from the palace. All palace guard forces have been instructed to bring any issues to the emperor’s personal attention.

                Garlemail’s special report on the throne was deemed “pointless”. As such, we shall now inform you that several farms within the empire show great promise for the growing of wine grapes.

  The Military and You        

                The Doman border has been unofficially reopened following unconfirmed reports of fighting at an occupied castrum. An airship bearing a possible “ambassador” was reportedly downed after its departure from the Doman territory. No survivors have been reported as such.

                Military command wishes to add an addendum concerning the incident at the occupied castrum: We can neither confirm nor deny a supposed “report” of a primal being summoned within the Doman territory. Even if the report was accurate, said threat to imperial security has been eliminated.

                Military command reports that a troop ship departed for Doma recently. All troops were offloaded and the airship returned with Garlean citizens and non-citizens who retain their loyalty. As a gesture of “goodwill” to this exchange, the military requests all Castrums conduct a review of any Doman prisoners. Those whose crimes do not justify a threat to Imperial security are to be released and sent home. We will need the space.

                The Savagelands

                 To whom ever sent a “warning” to Limsa’s military:

                While our spies do enjoy seeing savages punching each other the warning of a load of crystals for a summoning contained in a trade ship has had unforeseen consequences. True, Limsa must now pay for the total loss of both ship and cargo for the mistake, and that is quite pleasing. Lost during the needless battle was one of our spies and some evidence of beast tribe activity being amassed for threat analysis. Any further attempts at having savages break their own stuff need to remain focused to savage military forces only. Get them to blow up their own military and not us, damned fools.

  Not a Paid Ad

                There is no paid ad, only a bounty put forth by

--Concerned Citizens of Kugane--

The bounty is of a “Significant” amount for the death of the Eorzean Warrior of Light.

Reasons:

Treating with Confederate forces

Strengthening Confederate forces to the point they are now a further threat to Kugane

Turning a blind eye to citizens in Confederate capture leading to several deaths

Disruptions to Kugane internal security by antagonizing local Garlean citizens within our neutral port.

  Accept Proof:      Their body shall be accepted as proof.

Contact:                Central tea house, bounty word “Tsula”.

Notes:                   Do not approach Imperial forces with this matter. The Empire will not pay for any bounty issued by outsiders, but they will take the body by force if needed. You have been warned.

  Neutral Ports Report

                All citizens within Kugane are asked to refrain from starting “bar fights” with savages of Eorzea. The Embassy can only deal with so much. Try taking a few deep breaths, maybe even leave the bar? If one must engage the enemy, try not to hurl them into tables and windows. The value of such items conveniently skyrockets anytime we are forced to pay for them.

                  The Kugane embassy is preparing a report on recent Confederacy activity. All citizens with first or second hand reports should send them to the embassy at once. We hope to illuminate the recent actions of Doma properly for our friends here.

  The Fallen Province Watch             

The Doman territories are reportedly engaged in rebuilding efforts. A shame they are only rebuilding that which we rebuilt after their last uprising against the rebuilding of their nation. Military intelligence has given the current leader of Doma a “negative chance” of sustaining his nation without the support of pirates and savages of Eorzea. How humorous that is. A man committed to freeing his people back into their own stupidity is reliant on those who harass, rob, and murder the innocent of his own allies.

                Ala’dango remains unfit for even printing its name correctly.

  Deep-Cover’s

                Deep Cover 1: “There is supposedly some “event” due to occur at some giant building in the desert. We shall go to investigate, make sure the gil there is safe…for the others.”

                Deep Cover 2: “For the last time, stop punching savages outside our place in Ul’dah!”

                Deep Cover 3: “The loss of the Eastern trade ship and its cargo is most disappointing. Mayhap our military should get a hold on its people?”

                Deep Cover 4: “So I heard a funny story. It seems these vermin’s famed “Warrior of Light” is an absolute piece of filth. Instead of fighting them, we should just put them into situations where they could save someone, but won’t. Let the idiots of Eorzea watch in confusion as their “brave” and “amazing” defender lets a child die cause lifting a finger is just too much work for a “Scion”. Why must I be cursed with sharing some of their blood….”

                Deep Cover 5: “Tracked some potential savage trade route into Ul’dah. Trader was joined by one of those “moogles”, quite annoying. Trader thought the thing giving away his position the entire way was actually valuable. Passed what I found out to local military agent for dispatch. Then went to the popoto’s “rest” area and punched a savage in front of it. Returned to Ul’dah proper immediately after.”

                Words to live by:

                “Eorzean moogles couldn’t float their lazy bums out of a cloud even with a map. In the empire’s name, purge them all…kupo.”

Briefing filed by:

Garlemail Cohort

The most trusted name in Imperial news since ever. We are the best, all others shall be crushed beneath my iron fist of trusted news…kupo.

  Life within the Empire

                The capitals visitors from Hingashi have finally departed to much fanfare. Those associated with this tour wish to express their gratitude to the multitudes of citizens who expressed both respect and curiosity at the guests. They’d also like to express their gratitude to the security forces and their devotion to their duty. All of those arrested are now to be released into the care of the military for forward deployments.

                  It has come to our attention that several of our more “energetic” engineers have developed “Self-defense” tools for use by citizens of savage descent, Lalafell’s specifically. While the empire offers paths for all those who swear loyalty we here at G.I.N are a bit concerned. Electricity generated by our machines can be severe to those unprepared, deadly even. Mayhap, instead of inventing a handheld tool that shoots bolts into an attacker’s body and shocking them till they’re face first into the ground twitching, we should remind everyone that kicking fellow citizens is in bad banners? Savage-level of manners if you think you can “punt” a fellow citizen as well.  Stop trying to punt the Lalafell’s, they invent dangerous stuff as a result.

  The Military and You        

                All travel into Doma is hereby banned. The military declares that all travelers have been given their time to conclude their “business”. As such, all Castrums are hereby ordered to arrest and detain anyone found crossing the Doman border, regardless of intent, direction of travel, or the amount of “Senators” and “Legatus’s” one claims to know.

                All civilian travel into the Castrum’s near the Doman border is hereby suspended.

                To anyone receiving this message within Doman territory: Good luck. We suggest heading towards Kugane.

  The Savagelands

                Limsan pirates reported within the trade lanes to the east.

                Additional caravans from Ala’mhigo have been reported entering Thanalan.

                Bandit and beast tribe activity up within Thanalan. All agents are encouraged to take precautions.

                A “line” has been established into Thanalan. Any citizen wishing to observe the “Jewel in the desert” should contact the foreign office immediately. We are looking for military observers, civilian observers, “free-roaming merchants”, and travelers who at adept at deception.  A monthly stipend shall be included. No interaction with other agents are needed or required.

                                **No contact with Garlemail Agents is expected, required, and/or authorized.

                Not a Paid Ad

                Tired of all that behind-the-lines work? Spending another night in your “savage” bed waiting for that next round of gil to some in. Rubbing your face at the dreaded thought of another day with savages? Well, ya picked the wrong job. HOWEVER, there is still hope, even for an idiot like you.

---GARLEAN SPY DATING MAIL SERVICE---

                That’s right idiot, the service you need because you didn’t understand what “spy” meant it here for you! We are in contact with nearly every spy across Hydalen. From Kugane to Limsa, if they’re out there G.I.N has annoyed them with requests at some point. Why not turn to us to help you in this hour of need!

                All we need is your name, age, rank, family, and your preferred method of relaxation! Take these two, some of our firsts successful match!

                Name: --Classified--, Age: --Classified--, Rank: Medicus, Family: --Classified--. Preferred method of relaxation: Good food, good wine, a walk on a beach, and a warm bed. I prefer wearing --Classified—when meeting my potential mates. After --Classified—we can --Classified—with the --Classified—before --Classified--.

A real beauty she is. Through our service we found her the perfect savageland date with

Name: --Classified--, Age: --Classified--, Rank: Duplicarius, Family: --Classified--. Preferred method of relaxation:  Eat well, fight better, sleep great. Also enjoy reading engineering books. Seeking a lovely female who will –classified—without much care and will --Classified—after watching my ripping body smash a chair on the first --Classified--  who attempts to --Classified-- . I’m the best spy in --Classified--  as well.  Once caught a fish --Classified—long.  I’m also --Classified--.

                Such a lovely pair they make, only one arrest attempt so far. We’re hoping they’ll continue using our services.

                                **Mail service is not responsible for any vow breaking, children, or family civil wars. Better an empire-loyal savage then the normal one.

  Neutral Ports Report

                Kugane reports the famed theater airship has left its airspace once again, course unknown. The Embassy is offering a substantial reward for anyone who brings information leading to the location of said airship and its goal.

                  The ambassador wishes a temporary halt to any actions in progress, or planned, against the East Aldenard Trading Company within Kugane’s sphere of influence. The nature of said request is not for you to know. Simply halt your plans or being held accountable.

The Fallen Province Watch             

                Garlemail recently contacted a Garlean spy within Ala’mhigo. Our connection and time allotted only five questions. Let’s check in on the savages and their new “freedom”.

                  Q1) What is the state of the savages?

                                -It’s a dusty shitehole filled with the same idiots screaming about the past as they hurl rocks at anyone suspected of conspiring with the Empire. That includes people who were ordered to bring our troops water.

                Q2) Are there any signs of improvements?

                                -Yeah, the more they hurl stones at each other the less of them there are.

                Q3) What of the Imperial infrastructure left behind.

                                -Slowly being torn apart. It’s like the idea of have night lights not in the form of a candle confuses and infuriates them.

                Q4) Are the savages rebuilding?

                                -HAHAHA, savages “building”. I’m waiting for them to be gathering animal dung and mud to make homes. Uplifting through shite.

                Q5) Have the savages learned?

                                -They’ve learned nothing. Not a single one of my contacts has ever heard an apology for the acts of the past that caused their loss of faith in their nation. History, in their eyes, shall be written to say they were never wrong, never corrupt, never at fault. A mad king and our people are now, and forever shall be, the reason for their stupidity.

  Deep-Cover’s

                Deep-Cover 1 and 2: Our wonderful and happy owner of Garlemail’s “Rest Stop for Garleans” expressed a bit of annoyance at whomever scratched a loving poem about the various things he’d like to do with her into the side of the chocobo stable she spent a lot of gil on. Please don’t do that. We all like Roe’s when their jolly and drinking, less so when they’re tossing guests through windows.

                Deep-Cover 3: We are attempting to boost the devices provided to us with crystals “borrowed” from the locals during their raids on beast tribe sites. I’m sure the ability for a genius like myself to better communicate with similar minds is far more qualified to be in possession of these crystals than the two savage soldiers overhead arguing about whose arms were the biggest.

                Deep-Cover 4: To my DARLING and LOVING Editor: WHERE IN THE NAME OF THAL IS MY SON AND MY GIL?! So help you if I have to track you down again, my hands won’t be leaving your neck for DAYS!

                Deep-Cover 5: Out of boredom I joined a local merc group and organized a raid on several savage caravans. After taking the valuables we forced everyone to remove their pants, wear them on their heads, and take off down the road bawking like disturbed chocobo’s. Would appreciate some actual work, but this’ll do for now.

  Words to live by:

                “Size means little within the empire, the ability to smash chairs over the heads of savages and traitors means everything…kupo.”           

Briefing filed by:

Garlemail Cohort

The most trusted name in Imperial news since we couldn't tell Umbral from Astral and accidentally blew up the competitions building. Sorry?

  Life within the Empire

                Our distinguished visitors from Hingashi are continuing their tour of our great capital. So far, the office of Foreign Affairs wishes to express its gratitude with the citizenry for their courteous manners. The throne, however, wishes to remind all that no disruptions shall be tolerated. With their visit to the throne imminent the punishment for anyone caught interfering and/or insulting our guests shall be forced deployment to a front line cohort.

                  Despite the greatness of our engineers, leaders of our capital’s airship landing admit they cannot see everything. As such, the following statement has been issued:

                The transportation of any live animal into the capital landing shall following the guidelines exactly. The next ship that our crews open the cargo holds up only to be attacked by large numbers of confused, and angry, birds bound for a testing lab shall be impounded. Lock your damned cages.

                  Magitek Academy is hosting a demonstration of its latest creations at the capital’s Castrum. From new airship designs to “racing armor” the demonstration promises to be a thrill for all.

                  The Garlean Imperial News wishes to apologize for statement made in the past that the fallen province of Ala’mhigo is a group of idiots fighting with other idiots. Our staff was quite rushed in their word choice. No, they are not idiots, they are absolute idiots fighting with other absolute idiots over who can be the supreme idiot of them all.

  The Military and You        

                Military reports that a savage vessel presumed be from Limsa raided a neutral cargo ship carrying supplies bound for home. A bounty has been issued to be paid to both whomever identifies the culprit and to whomever allows the savage hulk to meet the sea floor.

                  A gunship has reportedly crashed along the Doman border. While sabotage was initially suspected it has now come to light that the pilots, so focused on presumed border crosses, apparently struck a tree. To all pilots currently patrolling our borders: Trees and airships still don’t mix, funny how that is.

                  Castrum Gorma has issued a reward for any information leading to the arrest of whomever thought it would be funny to defy our recent request. Going forward, anyone one caught attempting to light the wildlife on fire will be shot first and questioned later. The recent partial burning of a caravan by flaming spriggans running towards water has tried our commander’s patience.

  The Savagelands

                Travel advisory to La Noscea remains in effect. Beast tribe activity continuing, pirate operations also increasing. Any and all spies not currently assigned to the savage territory are instructed by the military high command to withdraw into Thanalan. Any who pass through Wineport are requested to secure samples. Large quantities of samples for study at the capital.

                  Thanalan spies report caravans sighted weeks ago leaving Ala’stupid have been located passing Black Brush station bound for the city-state. Have noted heavy blade presence around these caravans suggesting they may be for a ruling member of the city. Any and all information should be gathered at once.

  Not a Paid Ad

                Those fools at Garelmail lost their ad for this week?! Are they insane?! That editor annoyed me for weeks to…this thing is still on?! YOU DAMNED FOOLS! Just tell the people I’m looking for new workers before you find me Garlemail’s editor! NOW, KUPO!

Garlean Imperial News needs You!

We are currently looking for new sources of stories and/or ads to run!

We’d pay more if you send us something to knock angry editors out for a bit.

  Neutral Ports Report

                To whomever thought it was funny to order every Dango in the tea house and send it to the embassy at Kugane: The ambassador is more than aware of the rumors from Doma. While he thanks the citizens for their diligence he would like to remind you that Imperial troops are now walking Kugane with the bill for your “generous” gift.

                  Kugane is rather quiet at the moment, all citizens are encouraged not to disturb this peace.

  The Fallen Province Watch             

                Spies within the fallen province of Ala’don’t-care report that the various groups within remain fractured. However, by the “grace” of their “gods”, the savages have apparently decided on a rather simple solution: Sit around in a circle and talk. I’m sure they mean well but, honestly, how do you run a province like that? Sit around in a circle and “talk”. All well and good until you have primals summoned into the very room itself and half your guards corrupted. For every one savage you think might be worthy a hundred of their brothers and sisters rise to remind you just how incompetent they can be.               

                  Military travel advisory to the Doman territories remains in effect, all local Castrum’s now on alert. Any citizens currently engaged in any bordering crossing affairs should immediately withdraw back into Imperial territory.

  Deep-Cover’s

                “All Garlemail Deep-Covers are hereby to report to Castrum Nova for another discussion on proper speech over the recording channels. While the Imperial News continues to “value” your service we still, however, do not value hearing your angry back-and-forth’s with each other concerning who deserves the next “vacation” nor the statement: “ Ey! Ya gettin our daft editors pants off with a flick of ya eye brow ain’t meanin ya gettin MY time off!”. We look forward to your reasons and excuses for this recent failure to follow protocols.

  Words to live by:

                “These reports of Eorzean savages mixing their white and black magic’s disgust me. If the emperor were to spare the savagelands may he never spare these “red’ pink mages… kupo.”

Briefing filed by:

Garlemail Cohort

The most trusted name in Imperial news since the other guy went missing in that airship accident we had nothing to do with.

  Life within the Empire

                Military command reports efforts to strengthen our borders are proceeding smoothly. All citizens have been encouraged to both aid in the efforts and report any suspicious activity.

                The new airship landing at the capital is now operational. The military would like to thank those who “volunteered” for their service, all citizenship requests will now be addressed. The throne, however, would like to issue a direct reminder to all pilots that flashy skills done to impress the sleeping emperor are not only wasted, but crashing into the ports guiding tower and ending up on your backside amongst the burning remains of one of the newer airships is frowned upon.

                A group of traveling entertainers from the region of Hingashi have had the honor of being the capital port’s first guests. They are scheduled to perform at several venues, take tours of the capital, be hosted by political elite, and finally have an audience with the emperor himself. All citizens are encouraged, and required, to remember that these are guests of the state. Anyone caught attempting to disrupt their visit will be dealt with harshly.

  The military and You        

                Despite military command’s refusal to answer sources within have confirmed that there are indeed rumors of high ranking officers held by savage forces. When questioned as to whether or not a failed mission into Doma was related the response was:

A cohort was tasked with recovery of a valuable military and state asset. Unforeseen intervention by a group of savages, combined with poor judgment of the commanding officer, led to the repulse.

                Requests concerning the status of officers held in other provinces were ignored.

                  From Military H.Q – “Military intelligence has received reports of a certain theater group in contact with savage forces. While we accept that they would normally interact with such types within a neutral port, there is no play being performed that required these reports of savages being ferried to their airship. Any proof of this should be reported immediately.”

                  From Castrum Gorma – “To whomever keeps lightening the wildlife on fire, please stop. Our forces are here to protect the border, not put out flaming wildlife endangering local civilian property. If this continues, the perpetrator will face harsh punishment.”

The Savagelands

                Travel advisory issued for the savage provinces of:

·         La Noscea- Local spies report growing pirate and beast tribe activity, savage forces too drunk to move with any speed to counter.

·         Corethas Highlands – Strange weather reported within the region, airships reporting difficulty.

·         Black Shroud – Local forces are conducting operations to root out any stray Imperial forces who crossed the border. All forces have been accounted for but we’ll let them waste their time anyway.

  Not a Paid Ad

                Are you a citizen on the island of Shirogane? Has the heat of the moment got the better of you? Did you accidently flop when you should have dived? Maybe one too many drinks? Or maybe you had to put a savage in their place. No matter what your problem, “We are here to serve you”.

The Happy Gyuki Healing Clinic

                A well respected and stocked group of Imperial Medicus’s are here to ensure your continued service to the empire. Whether by appointment or during their “open” hours, you are always safe when at Gyuki. Leave your weapons at the door and let the relaxing atmosphere and accommodations soothe your wounds. There’s also a lot of technical information in the brochure I have from them but I can’t list everything they have. Let’s just say they’re an Imperial Hospital disguised as a clinic. Easy location at #Eighteen, Tenth Ward. Just look for the Balmung tower.

                *Editor’s note: They performed well when assessing my goblin child’s cold.

                **Garelmail’s note: It wasn’t a goblin, it was his actual child and our agents almost were arrested. However, Gyuki was quite understanding and professional. Their treatment of our agents since has been nothing short of magnificent, even in the face of angry popotos.

                ***Deep Cover’s note: ...We can read that.

Neutral Ports Report

                Kugane has shown remarkable patience with the influx of savages. We’d like to extend the empires thanks to its citizens who’ve been able to keep their emotions in check. We’d also like to congratulate those citizens who knew to punch the savages when the guards weren’t around.

The Fallen Province Watch             

                Military has issued a travel warning for all those near or thinking of crossing into Doman territory. There was no clarification on what the advisory is for, just that all citizens would best delay or hurry up their business.

Deep-Cover’s

                Garlean-supporting groups have seen a sharp rise. We have no idea if they are supporting the empire or are just wanting to rebel against the status quo here. Request additional military scouts be sent into La Noscea and Thanalan. – Deep Cover 3

                There’s a sales on all wine there Wineport from the cart! (Someone lost their gil and couldn’t pay!) *hic* Ain’t that the truths! (We should…huh, you wanted a report?) Buy, buy wine? For the Empire! –Deep Cover 1 and 2

                Someone took MY child to that clinic in Kugane dressed as a GOBLIN?! You wait until I..(Sister, your actual job?) My job?! Let’s see… I went to an establishment in the Balmung quarter of the Goblet. Some “dome” thing. Quite enjoyable, an experience a certain editor will need once I get my hands on his neck. – Deep Cover 4             

Words to live by:

                “Every citizen’s duty is to the betterment and success of the empire…kupo”