Gamer Shit

Looking for a cheap keyboard and mouse combo? Need it to be from the good ol' USA? Worried you won't be able to see your battlestation from space? Need a white keyboard and mouse to stain with your greasy cheeto hands for the next year until those keys start ghosting on you? Are you really into LIGHTNING *and* rainbows? REST EASY, FRIENDS.

Okay so apparently "mechanical gaming mice" are a thing although I don't understand what makes it mechanical besides the manual sizing coil things? There is a really high end mouse that looks like this and has bad reviews, but I can't even remember who makes it. Razer, I'll assume. (oops I just googled and it's MAD CATZ). Check out that huper-descriptive title they've got going on. They are TRYIN' HARD to sell these puppies. To be honest I was shitting on this one pretty hard until I scrolled down and saw the white and gold version and that shit is my a~e~s~t~h~e~t~i~c.

This is the first thing that comes up when you search "pro gamer" on AliExpress. I couldn't decide which photo highlighted the horrible-ness of this mouse better, so I give you both. I don't even know where to start with this. I guess the silver lining here is that it's less than $5 so you could buy it as a joke for someone you hate.

This looks almost exactly like the base for an old cheap Genius "GAMING" keyboard I used to have. It's on AliExpress, and I have no idea what makes this the "Russian Version". Also I don't play League of Legends but apparently that's a keyword you can search for to find this monstrosity faster. It looks like someone dropped it and the resulting cracks are letting the horribly garish LEDs to shine through. That being said, I'd pick the purple one.