“No grave can hold my body down” striktor bc I’m predictable
The first thing that Viktor notices when he wakes up is not pain, even if that comes a close second.
He hears a familiar breath, feels the warmth of familiar arms that cradle him with way too much care, as if the person in question wasn’t too good at showing affection. Which is exactly the case.
Strix is embracing him, clearly terrified at the prospect of losing him. His face paint is gone, and so is his usual attire. Viktor can see the dark bags under his eyes, and he wonders just how long he has been sleep depriving himself to take care of him.
He ponders about waking him up or not. He knows that Strix should rest, but he is also painfully aware that his sleep is going to be restless until he feels reassured that Viktor is okay. That he is not dying anytime soon. Until he hears his voice.
He raises his hand, slowly, and gently cups Strix’s cheek, then brushing it with his thumb, tenderly. Strix’s eyes open quickly, always alert, watchful. Which is not healthy at all, even if it really comes with their job. It’s another whole can of worms that they will deal with. Just not today.
“Hey.” Viktor says softly, to calm him down, and Strix says nothing looking at him in the eye for a couple of seconds before averting his eyes. He sighs, and points at the wound on Viktor’s torso, not really damaging any organ, but close. Way too close for both of their tastes.
He could have died, Viktor realises. Again. Almost dying has become an awful habit, he knows that. And he knows Strix is the one that has to deal with the worst part of it.
“I’m fine. It hurts, but I have had worse. Really.” he assures him, and Strix’s eyes are still a little vacant. Worried.
“I thought I’d lose you, this time.”
Viktor feels his insides melting, and pulls Strix close, closer. They are embracing each other, warm and tender, and guilt stings even worse than pain when Strix buries his face on Viktor’s shoulder, his clothes getting slightly wet in a couple of seconds.
Viktor closes his eyes, and kisses Strix’s temple. He is a terrible commander, and an even worse teammate and friend. But as a lover, he feels like a total failure.
“You won’t lose me.” Viktor assures.
Strix’s voice sounds steady when he speaks again, always incredibly good at hiding his true feelings. At putting a poker face, even when his actions talk otherwise. Viktor is good at reading him, his true self, his true intentions. Always has, always will.
“Don’t.” Strix says, and Viktor understands.
He cannot really promise that. He shouldn’t.
They fight, and there is yet another war coming, sooner or later. Strix himself could get killed if spotted by someone clever enough and fast enough to hunt him down. It’s just that Viktor is way more prone to be a total idiot and put himself in danger.
“I’ll do my best.” he murmurs against Strix’s ear, gently combing his long hair. It’s a little dirty, and knowing how dutifully Strix takes care of it, he wonders yet again just how long he has been taking care of Viktor, not allowing himself to do anything else. “For the team. For myself. For you.”
His best, Viktor thinks. That’s all he can do. Strix sighs, because he understands. He looks at Viktor, his eyes a little red because of the tears. Viktor smiles at him, and kisses his wet cheeks, and then his lips.
Strix relaxes under his touch, and it’s Viktor’s time to gently embrace him until he falls asleep. Peaceful. Just the way Viktor likes him the best.
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