Gabriel Urbina

Breaker, breaker. This is Whiskey calling out for Passerine. Got another message here so I'll, uh, read it out.

"Breaker breaker it's Passerine here. I sent a message out to you a little while ago, and honestly, I don't remember half of what I said. I was in a bit of a weird place then, so it might have been nonsense. If you come across it, I hope it isn't too incomprehensible. Hope I had somewhat of a point.

Just wanted to message again. Kinda miss hearing your voice on the radio, but hey, you do what you want. It's your life, and I bet you're making the most of it, now you know what it's worth.

I was just thinking about home. About what it means to be home. If you recall, I set off on a big adventure, a lot like yours, I think. Just getting out to see what it was like out there. To see things, I'd never seen. I have this motto about making sure I do the things I want in this life. No regrets, right? And I'm home now. After a year of being away, I made it home.

Not back to my original timeline, I don't think. Things are still wonky, and it's definitely not the way it's supposed to be, but I'm not fading away anymore. I'm stable. And I feel like I've found a place to belong. Just like you did. You found Harry, and that's your home. And I know it's not the same, but nothing ever is.

Look at me rambling again. I'm trying my best to get better at being succinct, but hey, work in progress. My point is that home is important. And that maybe you'll never get to go back to your timeline, but maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe you can find a new one, like I did. One where you and Harry can be together.

Still on the search for Charleston Chews by the way. Don't think we have those in my neck of the woods. Still gonna keep looking. It sticks in my head every time I enter a shop with a chocolate section.

Hoping you're safe at home.

Passerine out."

I did get your previous message. I don't know if you heard my response. It sounds like maybe the radio waves are not our friends all the time. I know I haven't been on here as much as I was in that year of wandering that I did, but I still think about all of you out there hearing my voice and either finding comfort in that or wondering who the hell is talking on the radio.

But I'm happy to hear that you're home, if I can remember correctly, which, you know, I'm not sure I can, you last talked about change and swinging between hopefulness and hopelessness, so sounds like maybe you are at home with hope now?

And you're right. Harry is my home. We've- we settled into a good place, Harry and I. It's not always perfect, but I don't know. It's like all of the hard edges of ourselves that used to chafe on each other have been sanded down by proximity and, well, an effort, I guess, because it can't just be proximity, right? Because we were together in a house alone for years and still, you know, bumped into those sharp points. So the effort is important and it makes the time go by fast too. Really, you know, working on not just coexisting with somebody, but building a relationship with them, building a home with them.

Not to say that we're building a permanent home. We're still moving from time to time, but mostly because Harry's actually really wanted to see things. see things that she's never seen before. Like you wanted to. And so we've wandered. And some of the things have been things that I saw and fell in love with on my grand road trip. And some have been new to me too. And that's been really nice. Both sharing the things that excite me with her and discovering new things together.

But yeah, it's amazing how the time slips away, you know? I look up and already it's been two years that we've been doing this, that we've been what we are to each other. It doesn't feel real. I look in the mirror and I don't feel like I'm that much older. I'm not even sure I feel wiser. And isn't that supposed to be the hallmark of age?

And I guess I've been distracted in exploring all the nooks and crannies of this country, and also all of the dimensions of Harry. I guess I haven't been leaning on the radio as much as I have in the past. I still like having a connection to the outside world, such as it is, especially since it doesn't seem like…well, what you have said about change and about home. I have started to wonder if we have found ourselves in a new timeline after all, in some kind of new home. Because we haven't heard from Junior in a really long time. I mean, we haven't heard from Birdie either, but they said something had changed, and I wonder…I do wonder if we're safe now. If we're safe and we can just be home.

And if that's the case, then maybe we can create a new home base. Really actually build a home together. I've never been one for scripture. Surprise, I know, but there's this one phrase that stuck with me through the years, and that's "everyone will sit under their own vine and under their own fig tree, and none will make them afraid". I think that's the promise of home, isn't it? Being in your own space with your own people. Unafraid.

And against all odds, I think we may have found that. What a miracle that is. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I do enjoy this tether to the wider universe. But the habit I have of making sure that I'm consistently sitting down and listening to the radio on some kind of cadence and responding to the people who are able to get through. I think part of that has been driven out of fear. Listening at the radio for a warning. For some kind of information that would send my life off its axis again. And I don't want to be afraid anymore.

That's not to say that I still won't sit by the radio and listen for you, Passerine, or for anyone else who's sent me a message through the years. But. But maybe I don't know when you'll next hear from me. Maybe…maybe I'm gonna go sit under my own vine and fig tree for a little while. Oh, what a miracle that is.