❛ first son; first failure ❜

FUCK Sentence Starters — Accepting!

The FIRST SON ran his teeth over his lower lip, head cocked to the side as headjusted his collar in attempt to both hide the MARKS lining his neck and drawthe other man’s attention to their PRESENCE. Before TJ replied, he flashed amischievous smirk in his companion’s direction. 

out of news;

Send my muse “You just checked me out.” for their reaction.  — Accepting!

He was startled by Steve’s reaction. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been caught checking someone out before, but his lingering gaze wasn’t usually confronted with such DISBELIEF. TJ opened his mouth once and then closed it.

                                               How was he supposed to handle THIS?

Fuck it — . He thought, as he decided to play this out as if Steve Rogers didn’t seem so shocked about his eyes wandering a little farther SOUTH than the former soldier was probably used to. 

“Biblically or metaphorically?” 

“Any OTHER time, I’d take you up on the offer, but right now —  this guest list is giving me hell. Sure, I’ve got connections but Ma’ wants to mend some bridges with the more conservative assholes here in Washington. UNITED states and all. 

Send my muse “You just checked me out.” for their reaction. — Accepting!

“I care.” 

Steve’s shrug was deceptively careless. 

“I care who you are, at the very least.” Steve always had Bucky. If no one else could remember Steve Rogers, then at least Bucky, fragmented though his memory was, could be there. Would be there, Steve was sure of it, even if Steve had to keep memories for two. TJ… The longer that Steve spent time with TJ  the more convinced that he had absolutely no one and nothing. He had material wealth and possessions, sure, but in terms of companionship… There were few people that TJ mentioned who sounded like they were worth the time of day, let alone people that TJ could confide in.

“Sometimes all you need is one person to care. Makes the rest of the bullshit a bit more bearable.”

The eldest Hammond son shook his head at Steve’s response, reminded of how much the man before him really knew about him, NOTHING. Steve Rogers truly knew nothing about TJ Hammond. Had he, TJ was certain the aforementioned superhero would be advised against keeping that type of company. 

He was convinced that If Steve did CARE, it was only because he had no idea who Thomas James Hammond really was. And that was scarier than the former first son would like to admit.

Nonetheless, a practiced grin found his features. He might be duct tape and safety pins inside, but he wore bravado like a designer suit. 

Jesse gave the other a kind smile as they shook hands, bright eyes twinkling just a bit. He’d met a lot of VIP’s during the past few weeks, all coming to congratulate the show’s star on a splendid performance, but this guest was special. Maybe because he’d been dying to meet the other man for years now.

“Oh, I know who you are,” he chuckled in reply, hands  slipping down the pockets of his jeans, “I came out to my  twin brother by saying I had a crush on you. Turned out he  did too. He would’ve been so jealous if he knew I’m talking  to you right now.” Okay, that might be a bit too much  information but Jesse never really had a filter between his  brain and his mouth. He tended to be very personal with people. “And please, call me Jesse. Mr. Calverton makes me feel so old.”

There was a smile at his lips when he gestured at the couch in the corner of the dressing room, sitting down on it himself. “Thank you. It’s always great to hear newbies enjoyed the show. Ballet is a lot more open and welcoming than people tend to think.”

“Is that SO — ?” The older man replied, a charming smirk pulling at his features. This certainly was not the FIRST time he heard something like this and he doubted it would be the LAST. He took the admission in stride, an amused huff passing through his lips before he said, “Here’s hoping I live up to those teenage fantasies.”

The former first son was VERY careful not to acknowledge the past tense in which Jesse Calverton referred to his twin brother. In fact, he would have used the similarity as a talking point — but with Dougie and his parents’ reaction to the mere mention of TJ’s own troubled past was enough to keep him from approaching the subject with a ten foot pole. 

“Speaking of, how the HELL does Mr. Calverton make you feel old? What am I, ten years your senior?” TJ continued, even as he followed the other man’s direction to the small couch in the corner of the dressing room. 

He nodded at Agent Clark, before sitting next to the dancer, a silent indication that it wasn’t necessary that his every move be monitored. With the Secret Service dealt with, and no longer breathing down his throat — out of sight out of mind —  the club owner breathed a sigh of relief, turning to smile at Jesse. 

“Just don’t go telling the press that TJ Hammond’s gone SOFT  in his old age, preferring a ballet to clubbing. 

“Do I REALLY spend time with the wrong kind of people? I thought that’s EXACTLY what I’ve got YOU for. You are the SPECIALIST about clothes, facial hair and HOW long I should wear my hair anyway. Wouldn’t trust anyone else about that, after all.

       — Just saying.”

he asks no further, accepts TJ’s answer with a smile, relived && genuinely appreciating the gesture altogether. rough patches are anything but unknown, the SOLDIER himself still struggling every now and then. but it helps to feel sympathy && empathy, to BELIEVE each of his words.

“Just making sure that insanely good-looking guy I know won’t allow people around him to drag him down into their mess.”

“It’s good to know that’s the ONLY reason you’re keeping me around.” 

his words come teasing and with that an ease that only james seems capable of conjuring in the the former first son. shedding a practiced smile in favor of something genuine was becoming a natural response around him, thus the quiet insistence that james REALLY must stop being so vocal about caring.

 because some days ARE more trying than others, and he can see the strain mirrored in the eyes of others, and he DOESN’T know how he can help. he’s barely holding himself together, as is. the desire to help someone else is foreign and frightening, for it’s only ever brought him pain. 

so he does what he knows he’s good at, instead, smiling and flirting and not quite PRETENDING as much as he should be.

“And here I thought I just had the Ken doll I always wanted. Turns out he’s a knight in shining armor, too. Tell me, does that type only apply to DAMSELS in distress? 

TJ Hammond || Political Animals || fxrstson || Active ( — Occupational hazard, right? It comes with being a Hammond. )

James Buchanan Barnes || MCU / Comic Hybrid || sxldiercivilian || Semi-Active ( — I see things I forgot happened, like a door unlocking in my mind...  )

Samandriel || Supernatural || lxstguardian || Semi-Active ( — We guard the souls in heaven. We don’t horse trade them.  )

“Asshole.” There’s no heat in the word. Perhaps there was even a bit of fondness. “I said don’t worry about it. I just don’t like it when people think they know me. I’m sure you can relate.” 

There is a moment where Steve is as Atlas, a heavy weight on his shoulders that can’t be lifted off no matter how hard one tries. It stays for a long moment before it is thrown off, and in place is a man strong and with no weaknesses or faults. 

“If that’s your way of trying to chase me off, It’s going to have the opposite effect, TJ. I’m stubborn as they come, every back alley in Brooklyn has a story about how Steve Rogers is a son of a bitch that won’t back down from any sort of fight.”

Except for one. He couldn’t fight Bucky, no matter what state he was in.

Something about Steve’s response struck TJ. He didn’t seem angry. He didn’t even seem irritated. He seemed DETERMINED. It sobered him up  — the admission that Steve didn’t appreciate it when people thought they knew him. That was TJ, in a nutshell, playing this part  — feeling boxed into a corner, incapable of doing anything important, being anything important, when the expectations sent him tumbling into drugs, into trouble, into controversy.

How behind it all, he wasn’t entirely sure who he was ANYMORE, who he was in the first place.

And then Steve said he wasn’t going to get chased off. Well, everyone had a weakness, and the former soldier hit TJ’s — sending the former first son reeling back to years ago — it was hard to believe it was years —  when things got hard and HE left.

When TJ found it in himself to reply, even if it was cruel, he could only tell the TRUTH.

It perhaps was good that Steve hadn’t heard the question, between looking around and settling down onto the roof. He licked the tip of his pencil before putting it to paper. with quick looks between TJ and the page helped to produce gestures in motion. TJ’s hands and arms soon covered the page, all in the process of taking off the shirt. The long fingers curling in cloth, dropping cloth. 

“Reputations like ours? What is that supposed to mean?” Steve had set his warm up sketch to the side and started on a fresh sheet. It allowed him to take TJ in and just look at him like he was the only thing that existed for several long moments. He suddenly looked away and there was a blush that turned the tips of his ears red. 

“… Why do you call your mother by her first name?” His eyes searched for TJ’s but only after he had said his question. If one only knew Captain America, they would say that he was being shy. But that was not it. He just wanted to get out the question, one he had a big feeling would set TJ on edge, before it could be shut down.

The smirk that pulled at TJ’s features when he caught sight of the flush of Steve’s features was bordering on mischievous, but he didn’t say anything —because he’s still got that that terminology lodged into his brain. He still CAME OUT and Captain America, as far as he knew, weren’t allowed to exist in the same sentence. 

The former first son shook his head, features falling into a neutral expression, because explaining how the two being seen together was sure to start some rumors was actually IMPORTANT, important to Elaine’s campaign, at least. 

“You know, all those things they say about Captain America?               — Well, I’ve got some of those too. EXPECTATIONS.” 

His brow furrowed, because articulating the possible complications was synonymous with giving Steve an OUT, and hell, had TJ grown tired of those. Sure, the soldier was a pain in the ass, but TJ was getting used to having him around. He shrugged his shoulders then, smiling as if the thought never crossed his mind. 

“You ARE talking to the first openly gay son of a president. If I got caught stripping for Steve Rogers, well  — I’m sure you can imagine how that would look for YOU.

“Yes. You’re… more present.” Steve leaned against TJ’s back, his bony arms digging into the other’s shoulders. Yes, TJ looked infinitely better when he was playing the piano, when he was sober. Steve wanted to draw it. Better yet, he wanted to paint it. Bright spots of color that formed into hands, piano keys, and that smile… That smile. 

“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m really a fan of Punk music. So that you ahve nothing past the sixtes is no problem. … Though if you have “Star Spangled Man” I might have to go to drastic measures to keep you from playing it. Unless you want the lyrics the Commandos made.”

 The weight pressed against his form brought the edge of a smile to his face, the sharp edges of Steve’s arms not all unpleasant against his shoulder blades. It kept him from getting lost in his own head, anchored to the moment. He supposed that’s what Steve meant.

“PRESENT — huh? Well, if I had known that playing the piano would  make Steve Rogers handsy, I would have played for you a while ago.”

TJ stifled a laugh when Steve mentioned Captain America’s old anthem. Likely as it was that the former first son could play the tune by ear, he wasn’t familiar enough to launch himself straight into a rendition of Star Spangled Man.

‘Yeah, I am not going to OBJECT that, and thank you, too.    Has been a LONG time since I have been commented on    my face when it’s not scruff, bloodied or bruised. Gotta say    I like the change.

Anyway. Just want YOU to know you’ve got someone to talk with, in case you might need an ear that is less involved with anything and pretty much neutral, or MAYBE a little biased in your favor.

“Then you’re not spending time with the right kind of people, James, because SCRUFF definitely has it advantages. And on a jawline like that —.

                            Well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. 

I mean, we are being SERIOUS here, after all. And since that seems to be the only way you want this to go, I’ll let you in on a secret... I’ll be fine — just SOME days are rougher than others. It helps to KNOW I’ve got someone in my corner.