I Don’t Care Anymore

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One person is $40, two is $60 and then we can discuss if you want more!

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Hi. My name is Miranda and I have depression and generalized anxiety along with ocd.

These are my morning meds. Say “hello” to Prozac and Xanax. Yes, that’s right. I take Xanax every day to function like regular people do.

I have terrible night terrors and sleep paralysis, so every morning I wake up shaking and exhausted. Even worse, I cannot go back to sleep or the cycle will restart.

I hate when people demonize Xanax as a medication. Sure, people use it recreationally. But, I have to have it to live and breathe like the rest of you. It calms me down to where I only shake a little and I can hold a conversation with people instead of staying in bed and relearning to breathe.

With Prozac, I’m starting to have better days. My default isn’t sad. The world has things to fall in love with and things to enjoy. It’s great to feel like I fully exist again.

I don’t expect this one post to change your mind on medications, or as I lovingly call them “my brain pills.” I just wish the stigma wasn’t there.

It’s a comedy. But it has some really relatable moments. Bob is basically an assorted candy bag of mental illnesses. He wants to get better. But everything just fucking dies in his wake.

This is his motto. A motto that I have adopted. Fake it until you make it.

His doctor had a book called Baby Steps and Bob tries to face his fears by going down an elevator. Which he screams all the way down on. He has a fear of elevators. To the point where, to get to his doctor, he walked up like 50 flights of stairs.

Before his time is up, his doctor informs him that he’s going on vacation for Labor Day and that he won’t be seeing him for a while. This is where Bob’s mind starts to crumble.

He finds his doctor’s vacation home and gets on a bus, with his fish, Gil, and tries to get more help. He feels like he’s never gotten so much help before. His doctor vehemently hates him. But, Bob meets his family. He has a son named Siggy, who is afraid of death. Bob helps him overcome it. He has a daughter, and she helps Bob by tying him to the sail of a boat and he happily yells “Doctor Marvin! I’m sailing! I’m a sailor!”

I’m just rambling about this movie at this point, but, as it’s almost 30 years old, I find it one of the most accurate mental health focused movies I’ve ever seen, to be honest. He keeps tissues in his pockets so he doesn’t have to touch germy door handles. He hyper fixates. He forces himself to do things. He gets better.

So, whether you are Bob Wiley at the beginning of the movie, surrounded by piles of things that used to be your life and only caring about one thing enough to put yourself at risk, like a fish, or you’re him at the end, writing a book, getting married, being happy, just remember.

Did you remember to take your medication today?

Stay healthy folks!

If you have an inhaler, remember to use it.

And don’t forget to do any exercises or other activities recommended by your doctor. Those are important too.

Happy scrolling!