Dipping a toe then another and another until submerging your whole body into the unchartered waters of yourself after years of living in suspension

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

Felt this so deeply

feeling like i'm constantly too much and too little at the same time is so exhausting

I love doing nothing, what I don't love is the inevitable overthinking that comes with doing nothing