dirt enjoyer

Alexander the great sounds like a 12 year old's first oc. So he has reddish-blond hair huh? And heterochromia? And he's an lgbtq icon who has extraordinary abilities from a young age? This sounds like something I'd write in 6th grade.

it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

I showed this to my husband and he said he wants four mugs like this in various states of eaten, so he can swap when no one’s looking and make it look like he’s actually eating it.

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

I really hope attenborough just keeps going, I hope he hits 200 but everyone is too nervous to like bring it up or study him or whatever cuz it's david attenborough

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"