funstuck

Ah, she's home at last! Your elder sister keeps to herself most of the time, but she's never been one for an unannounced entrance! The front door has never slammed like that when you've used it! In fact, you're pretty sure that's just the warning shot she fires upon her entrance into any room.

Last you saw, your big sis was crouched in the bathroom window with a pair of ray-bans stapled to her face. That was a few days ago. Not that this has been any problem for you, since the fridge is well stocked and your collection of horror/guro manga is expansive. And you enjoy having the house all to yourself, although sometimes it gets quite lonely.

You remember the day she departed fondly -- whiskey and promises of Doritos Locos Tacos on her lips. Sure, some people have called her things like 'negligent' or 'unreliable' or 'an unfit mother', but that's exactly what's so great about your sister: she commits. She is 100% hardcore. And you are the authority on hardcore in this town. 

--abandonedPierrot [AP] began Pestering kawaiiTechnician [KT] at 12:50 PM--

AP: heyy.

KT: pete!

KT: how are you doing?

AP: well, thankss! did you get my giftt?

KT: i did! its beautiful pete, thank you. i will use it to craft fine arts!

AP: i know you willl! what about the gamee?

KT: omg no it hasn't come yet.

KT: but i'm totes excited to play with you guys! its multiplayer, right?

AP: it's multiplayer alrightt.

KT: ...

AP: …

KT: pete!! do you have the game already??

AP: ...maybee.  

KT: oh my goodness! how?

AP: i have my wayss.

AP: and by ways i mean ... a certain someonee.

KT: hmmm....

KT: omg

KT: omg omg

AP: hmmm?

KT: omg pete you didn't!!

AP: didn't whatt?

KT: pete!

AP: yess?

KT: did you get it from luke??

AP: ...maybee.

KT: ugh...pete!! why would you do that?

AP: heyy! he offeredd! and i didn't know your copy hadn't come yett!

KT: of course it hadnt come yet! when in the history of ever has she been on time with anything???

AP: there is a first time for everything charr. perhaps your birthday was to be the major turning point of her lifee.

KT: UGH. i cant believe you guys got it before i did! that is so unfair. shes gonna be so mad!

KT: have you played it yet? whats it like? is it truly 'the most revolutionary scientific achievement since edible arrangements' ?

AP: i don't know, i haven't played it yett. out of courtesyy.

KT: wow. what a gentleman.

KT: manipulating a disc out of a drugged up teenager but then having the decency not to play it!

KT: hats off everybody. pete wins the civility championship.

AP: oh come onn. it's not even a big deall. and i didn't manipulate anybodyy, i just had a friendly conversation with a pall.

KT: is too! she told us not to play yet. how did luke even get it??

AP: apparently he got a spare copy from somebody elsee.

AP: why don't you message her about getting itt?

KT: i tried! but its like 3 AM where she lives

KT: does anybody actually know where she lives

AP: nopee. but i've always preferred it that wayy. she's like...the wildcard loner of our groupp. the enigmaa.

KT: the what

AP: the enigma

KT: pete stop joking around!

KT: this isnt the time to be discussing sex diseases!!

AP: you are a confused girl charr.

KT: i am not confused! im just upset because you guys are gonna play without me!

AP: i wont run the game until you get it, i promisee!

KT: well okay then i guess i feel better

KT: oh hang on pete

KT: i think my sister is home!

--kawaiiTechnician [KT] ceased Pestering abandonedPierrot [AP] at 3:11 PM--

You'd love to be the sleeping compatriot, except please FUCK OFF, it is 3 AM.

Your name is CHAR RAKLIFF and you are, as previously mentioned, a fifteen year old girl with a penchant for DOODLES and SWEET FOODS. You have watched so much anime that when you experience strong emotion the background behind you LITERALLY CHANGES, as it would in your beloved SHOUJO MANGA. Yup, it's a pretty safe bet to say you are 100% SUGOI, ALL NATURAL SUTEKI.

You are exceptionally fond of THE INTERNET. It's where all your friends and hobbies are, and you run a blog that is pretty much TUMBLR FAMOUS. On it, you draw SILLY DOODLES for all of your friends who want them, and you do so quickly and with great skill, you're not ashamed to admit! It's been a great hobby of yours, and one you've had enormous success with since you are HOME-SCHOOLED and therefore DON'T GET OUT MUCH.

Not that the aforementioned lifestyle has ever prevented you from making friends. In fact, you have THREE GREAT FRIENDS you've known for quite a long time now. You don't know what you'd do without your buddies! And today, you and them (they and you?) are going to play a video game and you simply couldn't be more excited. You just wish your friend with your copy of the game would get online, though. Just what exactly is she getting up to??

ANUSBUTT TITFACE.

That ... that is the very antithesis of kawaii. 

Try again.