Funny Thoughts

Red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom… until they start flashing behind you.

Everyone is disliked by someone no matter what you do. You an innocent baby? Some ppl hate babies. You a volunteer to help the homeless? Some ppl want the homeless to just die so they won't see them. No matter how good or decent you are, someone will always think you are an asshole.

Every decision is a life changing decision.

We have unlimited access to information that could profoundly improve our lives yet most people choose to be constantly distracted by meaningless information that does nothing to change their circumstance.

The adults in Christmas movies don't believe in Santa and think it's a lie they tell their kids, and by the end when it's revealed that Santa is real, it's never brought up that for their entire parenting career, they weren't the ones putting gifts under the tree.

Overtaking and speeding only saves un 3-4 minutes usually. Of course it depends on how far the destination is, how fast you are going and how good is the infrastructure, but there is no reason to speed.

Everyone is afraid of zombies but no one ever talks about the zombies being afraid of necrophiliacs

Validation is a hell of a drug.

The experience of eating hard candy is mostly drinking your own flavoured saliva.

Giving a blowjob is sort of like sipping sperm out of a ball sack while using the dick as a straw.

If you are born on January 1st, your birthday will always be 'next year'.

Once the Titanic disintegrates there will be theorists denying it's existence.

People born in 2000 don't have to check their age as the years do it for them

In 1000 years, historians may look at QR codes, and refer to them as hieroglyphics of an ancient civilization.

You don't take the bus, the bus takes you.

it took ~297,000 years for mankind to invent writing. but after the invention of writing, it took ~2000 years for mankind to go to moon

Thanks to internet porn, straight men have seen more dicks than any gay man in history before 1980.