( ˢᵖᵃʳᵏˢ ᶠᶫʸ )

we dated once in college…. list of au’s.

we dated once in college and i never got over you. now i’m a single parent because my ex didn’t want a kid, and holy fuck you’re my kid’s kindergarten teacher.

we dated once in college and right after we broke up, i found out i was pregnant. but we both moved but now you’re living down the hall from me and our kid in a very small apartment building.

we dated once in college and things ended pretty roughly after i cheated on you, and we don’t talk anymore but i just saw your new fiance(e) making out with someone at the bar i work at.

we dated once in college and now i’m your wedding planner.. how awkward.

we dated once in college and hold up, what do you mean you’re my new fiance(e)’s sibling?!

we dated once in college and we had this super secret spot that we always went to but neither of us have been back in forever. ( or so the other thinks ) and fuck, my fiance just left me at the alter so here i am in my dress/tux sitting at this damn spot and … what are you doing here?

http://iconosquare.com/view

(source)

A

abeyance – (noun) a state of temporary disuse or suspension.

accismus – (noun) a feigned refusal of something earnestly desired.

acherontic – (adj.) Acheronian, Acherontic, Stygian (dark and dismal as of the rivers Acheron and Styx in Hades).

acquiesce – (verb) accept something reluctantly but without protest.

acumen – (noun) the ability to make good judgements and make quick decisions.

aesthete – (noun) a person who is appreciative of and sensitive to art and beauty.

afflatus – (noun) a divine creative impulse or inspiration.

akimbo – (adverb) with hands on the hips and elbows turned outwards.

amicable – (adj.) characterized by friendliness and absence of discord.

alphitomancy – (noun) the use of barley as a means for divination.

apocryphal – (adj.) [of a story or statement] of doubtful authenticity, although widely circulated as being true.

approbation – (noun) approval or praise. See also: approbatory (adj.)

arbalest –  (noun) [historical] A crossbow with a special mechanism for drawing back and releasing the string.

ardent – (adj.) very enthusiastic or passionate; [archaic] burning, glowing.

arras – (noun) a wall hanging made of a rich tapestry fabric, typically used to conceal an alcove.

arrogate – (verb) take or claim (something) for oneself without justification.

ascendancy – (noun) [mass noun] occupation of a position of dominant power or influence.

atrabilious – (adj.) [literary] Melancholy or irritable.

aubade – (noun) a poem or piece of music appropriate to the dawn or early morning.

avarice – (noun) [mass noun] extreme greed for wealth or material gain.

B

bagatelle – (noun) 1. a thing regarded as too unimportant or easy to be worth much consideration; 2. a short, light piece of music, especially one for the piano.

balbutient – (adj.) [literary] stuttering, stammering.

baleful – (adj.) threatening; menacing.

ballast –

battologize – (verb) to repeat (a word, phrase, mannerism, etc.) excessively.

becalmed – (adj.) [of a sailing ship] unable to move through lack of wind.

bedeck – (verb + object) to decorate.

belliferous – (adj.) someone or something waging war or creating a warlike condition.

bibacious – (adj.) addicted to drinking alcohol.

bibliobibuli – (noun) to be drunk on books.

bibliophagist – (noun) one who reads books omnivorously.

bibliosmia – (noun) the act of smelling a book for pleasure.

bilious – 1. (adj.) affected by or associated with nausea and vomiting; [of a color] lurid or sickly. 2. (adj.) spiteful or bad-tempered.

billets-doux – (noun) [dated, humorous] a love letter.

bivouac – (noun) a temporary camp without tents or cover, used especially by soldiers or mountaineers.

bloviate – (verb) talk at length, especially in an inflated or empty way. Also, bloviation(noun), bloviator (person; noun).

bonhomie – (noun) cheerful friendliness; geniality.

book-bosomed – (noun) a person who carries a book at all times.

brigandage – (noun) a gang that ambushes and robs people in forests and mountains.Also, brigand (noun), brigandry (noun).

bumptious – (adj.) irritatingly self-assertive.

bulwark – (noun) a defensive wall; an extension of a ship’s sides above the level of the deck.

(noun) 1. heavy material, such as gravel, sand, or iron, placed in the bilge of a ship to ensure its stability; a heavy substance carried in an airship or on a hot-air balloon to stabilize it and jettisoned when greater altitude is required; something providing stability or substance. 2. gravel or coarse stone used to form the bed of a railway track or the substratum of a road; a mixture of coarse and fine aggregate for making concrete.

(verb + object) to give stability or form.

C

canaille – (noun) [derogatory] the common people; the masses.

candelabrum – (noun) a large branched candlestick or holder for several candles or lamps.

carafe – (noun) an open-topped glass flask used for serving wine or water in a restaurant.

censure – (noun) the formal expression of severe disapproval.

chantage – (noun) the extortion of money by blackmail.

chthonian – (adj.) relating to or inhabiting the underworld.

codex – (noun) 1. an ancient manuscript text in book form. 2. an official list of medicines, chemicals, etc.

cogswoggled – (verb) Slang. Used similarly to “I’ll be damned.”

colloquy – (noun) 1. formal a conversation 2. gathering for discussion of theological questions.

conclave – (noun) a private meeting.

concatenate – (verb) to link together as in a chain. (noun) a series of things depending on or resulting from each other.

concupiscence – (noun) a strong, sexual desire; lust.

corpulent – (adj.) (of a person) fat.

cozen – (verb) to trick or deceive. See also: cozenage.

crapehanger – (noun) a person who sees the gloomy side of things; pessimist.

cunctation – (noun) someone who delays or procrastinates.

curvet – (noun) a graceful or energetic leap.

cynosure – (noun) a person or thing that is the center of attention or admiration.

“ please just let me forget. ”

“ c'mon try to guess what. ”

“ just leave me alone already. ”

“ no, i’m not going to. ”

“ you can’t change my mind. ”

“ my mind is made up. ”

“ i’m not gonna let you. ”

“ don’t do that to me. ”

“ think about what you’re doing. ”

“ why aren’t you listening now? ”

“ i want to sleep forever. ”

“ you need to leave now. ”

“ i’ll always have your back. ”

“ now there’s no going back. ”

“ the view really is spectacular. ”

“ i didn’t think you’d care. ”

“ why can’t you trust me? ”

“ don’t even bother with clothes. ”

“ i don’t love you anymore. ”

“ i am a great person. ”

“ you are a tolerable drunk. ”

“ exactly, why are you awake? ”

“ i’m gonna ignore you now. ”

“ how is that not hilarious? ”

“ please just calm down now. ” 

“ i was already calm, asshole. ”

“ i can see your underwear. ”

“ i’m afraid you’ll replace me. ”

“ please stop losing your temper. ”

“ you can cry if needed. ”

“ you have to run away. ”

“ i just wanna be yours. ”

“ ashes, we all fall down. ”