Got Diagnosed With Cool Guy Syndrome

any time i copy paste a message to send to 2 different chats i feel like such a fake ass bitch but im choosing to look at it as the digital equivalent of standing in a doorway hollering so people in both rooms can hear me

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

Don't forget to kill it by removing the batery instead of just keeping it in. The Styxpass doesn't care either way, but there's no reason to contaminate the actual burrial site with lithium leaching out.

I did not have parasocial relations with that man

uh oh

"mOnEy WoN't SoLvE aLL yOuR pRoBLeMs" speak for urself $5000 would heal me

I just want to let you guys know Cornell's entire library is open access (no permissions required) and there are (shocker) many books...

76,474 books at time of reblog!!!

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

Just graduated from Begging Dog University with a master’s in Boiling Water