Lame Dad Jokes

So, I was explaining 'Dad Jokes' to my dad today... I found this blog and started reading off some of them to him. He laughed at a few, but said most of them were too dumb. We joked about them for a bit. Then I announced that I couldn't take it anymore and I was done. He proceeds to laugh and say, "Good, cause those were dumb...wait, I thought that you were using a smart phone." Then he looked over to me with the trolliest grin on his face and asked, "Did I do that right?"

Once my dad took a joke too seriously and through my clock out the bedroom window and took his measuring tape out. I was all like "Daddy, what are you doing?" and he said. "I'm seeing how LONG YOU SLEPT!" He cracked up so hard he was crying. I didn't get it.

One time me and three friends were on our way to a concert and one of my friends asks for a cigarette, he realizes he doesn't have a lighter. So he asks for a 'light' and I had to turn the over head light on. I thought they were all gonna kill me.

After looking through your blog, I'm beginning to realize I'm the dad in my friend group. I'm a teenage girl what the heck

did you know grapes don't fight back when you step on them? although, they do let out a little WINE

My friends dad: what did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath you idiot breath

So my dad eats weird different foods together like really strange mixes so last night he had rice, cheese, bread, hot pepper sauce, and corn. He makes dumb jokes at dinner and we were all waiting for him to say something dumb and he said while eating corn "you're waiting for a corny joke, right?" We groaned. Then he put some cheese on his bread and said "I don't feel like making my usual cheesy jokes." We groaned again. He high fived my brother and yelled "I'm on FIRE!" While eating peppers. WHY

Lame joke

At some point McDonald's had a double filet-o-fish sandwich thing. My dad has always really liked these things (though I've never figured out why). So I texted him to tell him.

Father in law jokes count too

All these dad jokes makes me wish I had a dad

My father is a doctor, so whenever I am worried about my health I go to him. And whenever I tell him "It hurts when I do this", every time, every fucking time, he says "well don't do that, then."