Scratchy Dick’s Big Slut Crab Fuck Shack

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

those mountains are older than Saturn's rings and they want to blow them up and hollow them out for cell phone batteries

In my opinion the human body gets dehydrated too easily.

Also when it wants water it’s a secret for some fucking reason.

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

real talk tho ive seen ppl talk abt how long hair on men isn't intrinsically feminine & assuming so is racist can we get the same convo going for Black women w short hair can we start talking abt how short hair isn't intrinsically masculine or is that a step too far

i don’t need to say it

don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture

@entities-of-posts Buried

Seconded

Happy Dilf Day.

honestly one of the worst parts of fibromyalgia is how you can have a decreased pocus and at the same time a significantly heightened hocus

Absolutely, @kingbarf and @crplpunkklavier

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

“But North Korea has a cult of personality” and we depict our founding fathers as angel-like beings blessed with the divine vision of a great nation built on earth that will spread its light to all corners. Like literally. We painted that on the ceiling of our capital building.