Frosting Zamboni

I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna b

We were at the butterfly gardens once on the day the tortoises there got their shells checked and scrubbed. They all just converged on the employee with the scrubber and kept trying to get more scratchies. Super cute.

my sewing machine does exactly one thing, and yet every single time I try to sew something with it I feel like I've put my baby in the pelican's mouth. over and over again.

sewing Machine perfec t for sewing straight l/ines! machine very Accurate and Level lines so so straight so easy to use Sewing Machine. Sew Straight Lines with Sewing Machine. no problems ever in macchine because good Shape and Whir noise for fast fast lines. Asewing Machine yes a place for making straight lines sewing lines can trust sewing machina for giveing good love to fabric. friend sewing machine

He taught her to sing. Now she's going to teach him to dance.

happy if you have scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with your sexuality july

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

folks you’re never gonna believe what i did today

genuinely insane to me that bikinis are the Default swimwear marketed & sold to women. that's nylon underwear. & if you don't want to wear one people treat you like you're childish & insecure & suggest ways to "get over it"

"i feel uncomfortable with the idea of wearing what amounts to fast-drying underwear in front of other people, many of them complete strangers" "have you tried gradually acclimating to showing more & more skin? have you tried being more confident? are you ashamed of your body? don't you want to show off your beach bod?" girl what the fuck are you talking about!!!

wearing a bikini is all about confidence & self-love 🥰 but remember to wax all that icky yucky body hair first!!! 🤢 nobody wants to see that 🙅‍♀️

Also, gods forbid you wear a swimsuit you can actually SWIM in without it trying to escape.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DONT STOP ME NOW!

one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.

Tumblr Code.

World Heritage Post