A B U S E

deep breath in, then out.  colin’s hands have a fine tremor to them.  putting on the ring, an ugly yellow that makes everything around it look a little sallow, is an experience he isn’t ever prepared for. fears he’s spent years and years fighting tooth and nail to push back are dragged kicking and screaming to the forefront again.

I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me

  everything that he had been taught – everything he had been meant to believe was all wrong. emotions weren’t a weakness. feeling this way about colin made damian stronger. it made him want to fight even harder because he could truly understand why people said that they had someone to live for. feeling the shaky hand at the side of his face and the one resting over his own only cemented those thoughts in his head. it really had been too long for this. he’d missed the gentle touches and softness in colin’s eyes. 

  damian would have retorted if he hadn’t been otherwise occupied. he knew colin far too well to know when the other was teasing. but he didn’t mind, given that he was more than likely going to tease as well at some point. 

    he’ll never get used to this feeling – his heart thumping away in his chest, eyes closing as he lets himself enjoy the moment. it was a gentleness that damian never imagined he would have. he chuckles, breathlessly, as the mask is tugged off and he only has a few seconds before colin’s lips are back against his. with the hand resting at the other’s leg, thumb lightly strokes against the skin there as he moves his other hand to gently cup the back of colin’s neck. his movements are still hesitant, uncertain given that he’s more used to violence, but he tries. 

colin has seen damian in action, has seen this beautiful boy bruise and batter.  somehow that makes it --- better that damian lays hands on him with such care.  every place where damian’s skin touches him is electric; it’s kind of hard to decide where his attention should be.  the way damian’s thumb brushes his leg, the gentle hand on the back of his neck.  colin wonders if damian knew, when he promised to kiss colin until he couldn’t think straight, that it would happen this fast.  

colin loves this.  

he needs to breathe for a second, and when he pulls away again, he’s found his way about halfway into damian’s lap.  while he catches his breath, colin’s fingers find damian’s hair, and he’s absolutely beaming. 

  it was different, hearing the endearment sweetheart in person rather than over the messages that they sent one another constantly. yes – that one was certainly a keeper. he liked the sound of it, and damian was certain he would never get tired of hearing that word spill from colin’s lips. his gaze shifts down, away from the other’s face to the socks that he was wearing. the picture should have given him enough time to prepare, and damian had thought that were the case. but seeing it now, in person, was enough to drive the teen speechless. 

   he’s certain that his cheeks have flushed now, and it always amazes him just what colin can do to him. he had been trained for years to avoid emotions, to see past everything and not allow anything to get the best of him. and yet here damian was, heart racing and stomach fluttering. he was completely at the mercy of colin and that thought alone scared him. but he trusted his boyfriend. smiling just so, a hand moved to brush over the fabric of one of the socks, gliding up until fingers brushed against skin. 

     “you and i both,” he murmured softly, eyes closing for a brief moment as lips pressed against his temple. “though i hardly came all the way home to be teased. i do believe i told you exactly what i intended to do, and i plan to keep those words.” damian pulls back just enough, glancing over colin once more ( because he can never get enough ) before he’s closing the distance, lips pressing against the other’s.

it probably shouldn’t surprise colin anymore, how effortlessly damian does this to him.  the brush of fingertips against skin has his stomach twisting and heart pounding in a second.  he trembles just a little, like he always does when damian touches him.  it’s worse ( or better, maybe ) now because he hasn’t been this close in way, way too long.   

“ not teasing, ” colin insists before damian kisses him, but the shadow of a grin gives him away.  he lays one of his hands over damian’s where it rests on his leg, and the other rests shakily on the side of damian’s face.  

    he couldn’t exactly be sneaky and climb through the window when it came to the tower, but you could be certain that damian was clad in his robin outfit ( maybe he was being a tad cheeky, but he was in a good mood tonight ) as he strolled into the familiar building. it was nice to be back in gotham – he had missed these familiar surroundings. sure, it’d been his choice to leave the city for a while but it was difficult to keep away when his family and the people he cared for were here. and colin was certainly to blame for a bit of it. 

    it wasn’t too difficult to locate colin. wandering into the living room, eyes landing on the other, he couldn’t help a hint of a smile from forming. it hadn’t even been two weeks since they’d been apart, but it felt like years since he had last seen him. “you’re certainly a sight for sore eyes,” he says softly, moving to sit at the edge of the couch, head tilted as he gazed at his boyfriend from behind his mask. “i’ve missed you.” 

@fromabuse

colin’s normally in bed by now.  technically he’s got school tomorrow, but he might just skip.  his grades are fine, and he can’t even bother to think about his homework.  damian’s coming home tonight, and colin is jittery while he waits -- ( while trying not to make it obvious he’s just waiting by reading a book on the couch ).  admittedly that doesn’t do much good when he tosses the book to the coffee table as soon as he catches sight of damian, page forgotten.    

“ hey, sweetheart. ”  he’s wearing the damn costume, and colin’s already blushing about it.  a mess, colin is.  “ i’ve missed you too, ” colin said easily.  he shifts from his spot on the couch, moving his legs out from under him.  he’s wearing the socks, and yup.  that’s making him blush too, actually.  he moves across the couch so he can tuck himself neatly right beside damian, knee brushing his leg.  

   “ seems like everyone that got an invitation turned up. ” and maybe even those that didn’t, of course. barbara stores that away for later, however. she needs at least an hour of normalcy first. “ are you doing alright so far?? still gotta good few hours of this left, y’know. ”

     hearing his name in that all too familiar voice, expression softening at the sight of colin as he caught sight of him. damian quickly distances himself from the person who had been trying to speak with him, attention solely on the other. “you’re the one that looks breathtaking. i’m glad you didn’t show me earlier, now that i’m seeing you right here. i’m almost speechless.” 

“ i can always drive you home if you need. “ tony automatically says, hand instinctively reaching out to settle on his brother’s wrist to stop the fiddling. he can sense the discomfort and isn’t surprised, part of him wants to hit the Boyfriend for even thinking it was fine to ditch Colin. 

Send an “Ѡ” for my muse’s reaction to being sent accidental nudes.

‘i want the k’            6. gentle peck ( @rcjectedrcbin )

colin is fucking miserable.  hanging around wayne manor is masochistic at this point, but he can’t stop coming back.  because even though damian had firmly (but surprisingly gently) rebuffed colin’s clumsy advances, colin still wants to be around him.  except now things feel different; there’s a distance between them that has colin feeling like shit.  

and no one has ever accused colin of knowing how to deal with negative emotions in a healthy way, so it’s pretty par for the course when he finds himself latched onto tim instead.  tim is a — gentler presence than damian.  getting closer to them feels less like navigating a minefield, but colin really has to learn to stop comparing every moment he spends with tim to a moment he’s spent with damian.  

colin creeps a little closer on the couch now, ignoring the show they’re supposed to be watching.  tim doesn’t stiffen when you get too close, colin notices.  they even pulls their own attention from the tv to watch as colin shifts, knees digging into the couch by tim’s thigh so he can sit up straighter, eye to eye with tim.  

“colin,” tim says, and there’s definitely a cautionary edge to it, but they don’t push colin away.  not yet, anyway.  and — and it’s normal how badly colin just wants to feel something nice, isn’t it?  just wants to inch closer still so he can press a soft kiss against tim’s lovely mouth?