they/them's the breaks!!

Do not disturb. Do not approach. Bulbasaur is sleeping!

˙⋆✮ Saying "no worries!" to someone who just genuinely hurt them

˙⋆✮ Replaying a conversation from three years ago at 2am with full emotional clarity

˙⋆✮ Sending a text and then dreading the response before it even comes

˙⋆✮ Over-explaining to the point where the apology needs its own apology

˙⋆✮ Asking if everything is okay so many times it becomes the problem

˙⋆✮ Interpreting a slow reply as the end of an entire relationship

˙⋆✮ Preparing for worst case scenarios so thoroughly they almost will them into existence

˙⋆✮ The need to fix the tension in a room even when they didn't cause it

˙⋆✮ Canceling plans with relief and then feeling guilty about the relief

˙⋆✮ Catastrophizing in total silence while appearing completely fine

˙⋆✮ Being so afraid of being a burden they become one in a different way

˙⋆✮ Rehearsing phone calls before making them including possible tangents

˙⋆✮ Saying yes to things weeks away and panicking as they approach

˙⋆✮ Needing reassurance and then not believing it when it comes

˙⋆✮ The spiral that starts with one small thing and ends somewhere completely unrelated

˙⋆✮ Apologizing for apologizing too much and meaning both sincerely

˙⋆✮ Reading tone into texts that have no tone because text has no tone

˙⋆✮ Being exhausted by their own brain and having nowhere to put that

˙⋆✮ The performance of calm so convincing even they almost believe it

Gray. It's partially a cop-out answer but it's also my favorite color.

You can have your boring, non-descript sweats days but more importantly it also includes Black and White, leading to many opportunities for color blocking. Like, that's two thirds of The White Stripes' wardrobe.

I look so good in grayscale.

Rolling up to the club like Ventus Kingdom Hearts.

“So... We got the exploding diarrhea. Here's my advice for anyone who doesn't have it yet:

It's going to take a minute for the government to pin down where this is coming from, and then issue a recall, because the FDA has been gutted. But, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt : this is coming from Taylor Farms produce, and you will see them recalled.

You'll want to avoid all Taylor Farms produce in the grocery store. They supply McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, about any fast food place you can think of.

Raspberries, watermelons, cilantro, and the veggies you're hearing about are not causing this many people to get sick. It's the shredded lettuce, specifically, that's the problem. But, you'll want to stay away from every type of produce this company puts out, because one strand of shredded lettuce is all it takes to contaminate bushels.

Taylor Farms is the source. Taco Bell proactively pulled their produce from their restaurants. You're going to see other fast food places doing this, and probably will see that before the government names a source. The FDA knows this, but they can't come out and tell us all until there's proof, which takes resources and research, which takes manpower, but the FDA has been cut by about 20-30%

During the Biden term, onions at McDonald's had ecoli. We knew this because DNA testing was done quickly and they were able to narrow it down to one place that caused the outbreak. And, it was traced back to Taylor Farms. This isn't going to be solved as quickly though.

When you get this, make a virtual appointment to your PCP - a "same day sick" appointment. Tell them someone in your family just tested for this and was positive and was prescribed Bactrim. If you go in person, they're probably going to make you poop in a cup and wait until results come back to prescribe.

You'll know when you get this. Trust me on all of this.

You'll want to stay hydrated because this parasite damages the lining of the small intestine. Your small intestine, in turn, secretes more water into the gut, and less nutrients and liquid are able to remain in the body. So no matter how much you shit, you're going to want to drink. A day of this leads to dehydration if you don't increase your fluid intake, and a few days will land you in the hospital.

If you have headaches, weakness, muscle cramps, dizziness, or an increase heart rate - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Go to the ER for fluids if you can't drink enough.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Brought to you by America's 250 birthday celebrations, workforce reduction in the FDA and CDC, and viewers like you.

Please feel free to share this.

And, MAGA - don't blow up the comment section. I argued with y'all on COVID bc I was afraid y'all would die, but I really don't care if you get explosive diarrhea.