Bored

*opens article*

the people in the truck shouted at a grazing bison herd for twenty minutes, trying to 'make them move'. After ignoring multiple clear signs of aggravation from the animals, including Universal Angry Noises TM, stomping of feet, shaking of horns, etc, one of the bison got sick of the teasing, and rammed the vehicle to make them leave, which worked.

Breaking news: man was in horrific shark attack

*opens article*

Despite repeated warnings from literally everyone to not go into the water where the predatory fish that get confused between seals-and-humans live, this man went swimming in shark-infested waters and was bamboozled to be bitten by a shark that thought he was a seal, as he was previously warned about 9000 times.

man has complained to local authorities about not evicting an endangered species (and keystone predator in the global marine food chain that stops ecosystems from collapse, which is more than this idiot contributes) from this particular portion of beach that is designated as 'the place where all the human-biting sharks are, so don't swim here'.

Breaking news: woman attacked by homicidal deer

*opens article*

woman filmed baby deer on her iphone, shouted at it in increasingly cutesy tones, and followed now-frightened baby deer despite visibly increasing agitation from both the baby and the baby deer's mother for ten minutes.

mama deer, running on well-known Mammal Parental Instincts and Behaviour software TM, eventually got sick of the harassment of her child, and charged iPhone woman, since deer cannot call the police.

*100 people just closed the 'Animals' section of news website with 100 disappointed sighs*

Have we all forgotten cause and effect or smth?

admire all the amazing wild animals from a distance, please!

Wildlife is incredible to see in person, don't get me wrong, but please make sure to give them their personal space, respect their boundaries and just watch them do their thing un-interuppted, for your own safety if nothing else

seriously, just wait for them to do their thing

I have a folder of these on my phone... I'm not sure what that says about me!

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.