* JUNKYARD JOYS !

I    SPY    WITH    MY    RIDDLE    EYE     ! 

’ alright, mickey’s a mouse, donald’s a duck, pluto’s a dog. what’s goofy? ’ ’ goofy’s a dog. he’s definitely a dog. ’ ’ if i could only have one food for the rest of my life? ’ ’ there’s no way anybody could know that much about opera! ’ ’ does the word “retarded” mean anything to you? ’ ’ i don’t shut up. i grow up. and when i look at you, i throw up. ’ ’ don’t call me any of your mother’s pet names. ’ ’ fuck writing, i don’t want to be a writer. ’ ’ god gave you something, man, all those stories you can make up. ’ ’ kids lose everything unless there’s someone there to look out for them. ’ ’ this is what we got for ya, kid. try not to lose it. ’ ’ if your parents are too fucked up to do it, then maybe i should. ’ ’ i’m in the prime of my youth, and i’ll only be young once! ’ ’ yeah, but you’re gonna be stupid for the rest of your life. ’ ’ how do you know if a frenchman has been in your backyard? ’ ’ your garbage cans are empty and your dog’s pregnant. ’ ’ didn’t i just say i was french? ’ ’ do you think i’m weird? ’ ’ no man, seriously. am i weird? ’ ’ so what? everyone’s weird. ’ ’ suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood. ’ ’ this isn’t funny! what am i supposed to eat? ’ ’ come on you guys. let’s get moving. ’ ’ by the time we get there, the kid won’t even be dead anymore. ’ ’ you four-eyed pile of shit! ’ ’ a pile of shit has a thousand eyes. ’ ’ do you think mighty mouse could beat up superman? ’ ’ he/she was carrying five elephants in one hand! ’ ’ boy, you don’t know nothing! ’ ’ there’s no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy. ’ ’ maybe you’re right. it’d be a good fight, though. ’ ’ i’m never gonna get out of this town am i? ’ ’ you can do anything you want, man. ’ ’ the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes. ’ ’ friends come in and out of our lives, like busboys in a restaurant. ’ ’ come on, choppy! bite my ass, choppy! bite my ass! ’ ’ stop teasing that dog, you hear me! stop teasing him! ’ ’ i’m gonna beat your ass, teasing my dog like that! ’ ’ i’d like to see you climb over this fence and get me, fat ass! ’ ’ don’t you call me that, you little tin weasel peckerwood looney’s son. ’ ’ what did you call me? ’ ’ i’m gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck! ’ ’ i never had any friends later on like the ones i had when I was twelve. ’ ’ nothing like a smoke after a meal. ’ ’ yeah… i cherish these moments. ’ ’ “suck my fat one”? whoever told you that you had a fat one? ’ ’ i was twelve going on thirteen the first time i saw a dead human being. ’ ’ what are you gonna do? shoot us all? ’ ’ you guys wanna go see a dead body? ’ ’ you wanna be the lone ranger, or the cisco kid? ’ ’ shit no! what do you think i am? ’ ’ is it loaded? ’ ’ if you wanna get laid, you gotta get yourself a protestant. ’ ’ did your mother have any kids that lived? ’ ’ maybe you will, maybe you won’t. ’ ’ i wasn’t that scared. i wasn’t. sincerely. ’ ’ don’t pay any attention to those fools. ’ ’ are you all right, young man/lady? ’ ’ hey lardass, how was your trip? ’ ’ that was the all-time train dodge! ’ ’ you were so scared you looked like that fat guy. ’ ’ you come on and try it, you slimy bastard. ’ ’ you watch your mouth, smart guy! let him do his own fighting. ’ ’ from the racks and stacks, it’s the best on wax! ’ ’ we’re just here to take a couple steelhead out of the river. ’ ’ come on, man, we’re gonna be famous! ’ ’ we’re gonna be on every radio and tv show in the country! ’ ’ now i’m gonna state mine: get in the fucking car, now! ’ ’ okay… you’ve stated your position clearly. ’ ’ when they gonna give up? the kid’s gone. ’ ’ they ain’t never gonna find him/her. ’ ’ would you hold still? you’re making me fuck up the snake part. ’ ’ some hunter’s gonna go in the woods to take a leak, wind up pissing on his bones. ’ ’ i bet you a thousand bucks they’ll find him/her before then. ’ ’ hey, what’s the big deal? who cares? ’ ’ will you two just shut the fuck up? ’ ’ if either of you assholes had two-thousand dollars, i’d kill you both. ’ ’ why couldn’t you have gotten breakfast stuff? ’ ’ i guess a more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven cents. ’ ’ the train had knocked him/her out of his/her keds. ’ ’ you’re gonna be a great writer someday. ’ ’ i’ll be waiting on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts. ’ ’ you use your left hand or right hand to do that? ’ ’ you let him/her beat you, you cock-knocker! ’ ’ what am i supposed to do, think of everything? ’ ’ what did you bring a comb for? you don’t even have any hair! ’ ’ i’m sorry if i’m spoiling everybody’s good time. ’ ’ we’re going to see a dead kid… maybe it shouldn’t be a party. ’ ’ you know what that means. next year we’ll all be split up. ’ ’ what are you talking about? why would that happen? ’ ’ no, man. don’t say that. don’t even think that. ’ ’ i told you we should of stuck to the tracks. ’ ’ is it me, or are you the world’s biggest pussy? ’ ’ i suppose this is fun for you? ’ ’ i still think we should call the cops. ’ ’ it’s best we just keep our mouths shut. ’ ’ we could make a ‘nonymous call. ’ ’ they trace those calls, stupid. ’ ’ you’re a real asshole, you know that? ’ ’ i know you didn’t mean to insult my friend. ’ ’ why don’t you tell me something i don’t know, asshole? ’ ’ any of you guys know when the next train is due? ’ ’ the kid wasn’t sick. the kid wasn’t sleeping. the kid was dead. ’