another life saved by girl-on-girl action

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

Thats not what "here comes the airplane" is referring to. The phrase "here comes the airplane" is something parents (supposedly) say when feeding fussy infants. The joke is that it looks like someone is gently feeding her a battery, not that a battery causes airplanes or whatever yall thought

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

I will know if Andrew Tate is ever within a one mile radius of me bc when it happens a fully loaded gun will materialize in my hand and I’ll suddenly and inexplicably gain the ability to fire it with sharpshooter level accuracy and will also be imbued w an in depth understanding of human anatomy vis a vis where to inflict maximum trauma to guarantee mortality but prolong suffering. And before I can even register what is happening I will take off running full speed in the exact direction of his location

The other day i was getting rizzd the fuck upp by the crunchy latino cashier at trader joes. Just having a blast. Then the whole vibe changed when my card declined .

but i believe aang can save the world

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

Just saw someone whose entire blog is dedicated to a het ship calling the woman in the ship the “bottom right fixed uke” hey hey hey. Puts my hand on your shoulder. You’re straight