fortune serves the guilty

"Makoto…" Leon mused, enjoying how the name rolled off of his tongue. It felt much better to say than Naegi…More fitting, if you could put. A smile graced Leon’s lips, if only for a moment. A replay of the event quickly flashed in Leon’s head. He had harshly jerked him forward and, in a rush of desperation, he had crushed his lips against Makoto’s. It was aggressive, frenzied, a sudden turn of events— It wasn’t fair nor romantic, whatsoever. The redhead started to feel ashamed that he even forced himself upon Makoto for that split moment.

"Sorry about that," He mumbled, "I wasn’t thinking and I was desperate. I just wanted you to stay, y’know? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…" And, for some reason, as he said this, it was getting difficult to breathe. His heart was beating fast, as if it was forcing him to say something else. Perhaps, this was how Hiyoko felt when she was confronting him. It was uncomfortable, it made his cheeks feel suddenly hot. 

"S-Say though, Makoto…" The redhead added on, "You wouldn’t mind if…I asked if I could kiss you again, right?" He held his gaze anywhere but at the brunet, "Just…" Another sigh left him. He was being shameless. 

"It was just really sudden, you see, and I need to get a grip on everything that's happening first." Honest, just like his name told everyone about him. "And also, I feel like we just made a really big leap in our relationship anyhow -- I feel like maybe we should let that settle until we're both totally comfortable with the situation at hand." Makoto doesn't want to say outright that the feelings aren't reciprocated -- mostly because now, he has to actually figure that out.

Tears started to prickle in the corner of his eyes. He didn’t tell Makoto much about himself or his background, yet the brunet had managed to tell him the exact words he had been dying to hear back then. He saw through his image. That had been enough to overwhelm Leon. He would have been scared, he would have brushed off those words and called Makoto a stupid liar, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself not belief the male’s words. His crush on his fellow peer made it impossible.

"N-Naegi…" He choked. His voice faltered and it embarrassed him. He wasn’t weak. He didn’t need to cry over this, but here he was, tears beginning to spill from his eyes, "You’re the only one whose ever said that to me. N-Not even my parents..!"  

He felt so pathetic for being so fucking touched. Makoto…He had a certain ability. He always brought the most out of Leon, especially today. Today, he stirred the most intense feelings in the redhead in a span of a few hours—It was almost unbearable. Leon tried his best to wipe away the tears that cascaded freely from his eyes and he slid down from his bed. He hugged the brunet tightly and crooned his neck down to hide his face within Makoto’s chocolate-colored locks.

"That's a shame, too," Makoto says wistfully, looking at the now-crying redhead on the bed. "You deserve to be told that you're not a failure, because you're not. Your parents should have looked out for you." He smiles up at him, watching Leon's movements as he moves off the bed.

Makoto finds himself wrapped in a warm embrace, the other person's head against his neck. He gently wraps his own arms around the figure, rubbing his back. "Of course I believe you," he says soothingly, hugging him tighter. He finds himself pushed away and stared at.

"Well…" How awkward would it be if Leon admitted that he had already lost his? A knot caught in his throat and he kept silent as he uncomfortably began to fiddle with one of the biscuit sticks. He couldn’t come out clean about his past like Makoto had. It was…just impossible. "I still think you’re a great person, nonetheless. You quit, didn’t you? That takes a lot—To realize what you’re doing is bad. And…Well, you shaped up.

You’re brave, Naegi. I like that. A lot.” He rolled onto his stomach and gleamed a grin back at his friend. “We’re two sides of the same coin, y’know? …Or was it same side of the same coin? Whatever it is. I still see you as a great person. In my eyes, from everything I did and experienced, you’re still great. You didn’t meddle with a street gang just because you were bored, right? You didn’t do some bizarre stuff because you didn’t feel comfortable being home, right?” Leon stared intently at the lone stick of pocky in his hand. 

"I'm sorry, Kuwata, that you weren't comfortable at home. That's terrible..." Makoto trails off, scooting closer to the bed and stares into Leon's eyes. "I don't know how often people tell you this, but -- you're good, and smart, and worth knowing, alright? You and I have both had our share of mistakes; I'm not proud of what I've done and what it nearly led to, and you don't seem proud of yourself either.

"You're fine, okay? Please remember that. Maybe you're right, maybe society's fucked up because of things that have been done by us, by everyone, but you're not bad. Try not to lose faith in yourself. And if you find yourself falling, the path up can be hard and long, but if you take it, you'll get where you need to go."

"Shit—You’re kidding? You getting high?!"  Leon exclaimed, taking the biscuit stick out of his mouth, "You really don’t seem like the type of guy!" He fell straight back on his bed again and began to chomp down on the stick before grabbing out another one. Makoto being a rebel—He just couldn’t see it at all. He was too nice, too innocent-looking. He was so kind and caring….Leon glanced back over at his crush.

"Did you have it hard, too?" He asked curiously, "You don’t have to tell me, I’m just curious…" It’d be nice to know that someone also went down a rough road. Leon played around with the pocky once more, his appetite not as great as his curiosity. He honestly wanted to know—He had always stuck with this mentality that everyone else had perfect, little unsoiled road to wander down life. Great parents, a sibling, and maybe a pet or two—the ideal family. Knowing that Makoto who came from the same sort of background had his own struggles was a total, yet not unwanted, surprise. 

Makoto sighs to himself. "When I was in grade school, I was...chubby. Or maybe a little more than chubby. My family was wonderful, but we came from the poor part of our town, and so we did without a lot of material things that most of my classmates had. A lot of people used to make fun of me and my sister. I eventually started feeling like I was worthless; untalented with no friends and overweight to boot, and finally I let myself be coerced into doing all sorts of things.

"I've never lost my virginity, mind you-" he rapidly assures Leon, then continues, "-but I've done drugs, drank, and smoked. I didn't do drugs or drink very often at all; smoking was a little easier to hide, so I did that more often. I stopped eating as much until the weight started wearing off.

"Something bad happened, and I quit," he stated, crinkling the chip bag while he's talking. "I finally figured out that I needed to respect myself; I had to understand that I wasn't a bad person just because I wasn't talented or fit. It took me a while to finally come to terms with it...in fact, I didn't truly come to terms with it until I came here, I guess, and made some true friends." Makoto nods after he speaks. "So, thank you, Kuwata, for not doing drugs and drinking. It's a painful road, and I don't wish it on anybody. Nobody deserves to put themselves through that."

"I still think that’s great." The athlete commented as he made his way over to his bed and sat down, "Greater than me, at least." He reached down, at a stray bag lying by the side of his bed, and opened it. Inside, a stash of snacks were found. Leon fished out a box of green tea pocky and a small bag of Lay’s regular flavored chips (he didn’t know if Makoto loved the sour ones). 

"Hey, catch." He chucked the box of pocky at Makoto first, then the bag of Lay’s. "I used to be smart until…fourth or fifth grade. Stuff happened. I gave up completely during sixth grade. I almost couldn’t get promoted, y’know? Uh…I tried picking myself up in middle school, but I couldn’t. So I stuck with baseball to get a scholarship—Which is how I winded up here!" Perhaps, that was the only good thing that came out of baseball for Leon. Hope’s Peak…It was definitely a one-of-a-kind school. "I wasn’t the most stablest kids at school though. I had a really bad anger problem and I kept getting into fights. The teachers totally hated me and I got a lot of shit from my baseball team—They actually come here, sometimes. They have a lot of fun trying to jump me and shit. So, after a while, I learned that it was probably best to stay within school boundaries..” That and because he managed to piss off a local gang. But Makoto didn’t need to know that, right?

"Good for you, never doing drugs," Makoto says, shame and experience creeping into his tone. "Once you get off the high, reality snaps back and you can't pretend like things are different anymore. Honestly, that realization alone makes it not worth it." He chomps quietly on a chip.

"I was a kid who found the living room floor more comfortable than his bed. My mom never liked it…" Leon idly squeezed Makoto a bit tighter, "When I was a little kid, she’d always pick me up and drag me into my bed and scold me in the morning, heheh…I grew older and the habit never really stopped and she’d have to like, kick me awake and yell at me to go to my room. Good times, right?" Leon breathed in and a flash of pain spread through his features. He couldn’t say the same about his own family, unfortunately. 

"I bet your family really misses you a lot too…" Leon mused as he used his free-hand to rummage around in his pockets, trying to get the key to his dorm room. "They were good people, weren’t they?" Finally finding the small key in his front pocket, Leon took it out and began to unlock his dormitory door. He put his index finger in front of his mouth, beckoning Makoto to talk in a more silent tone as he slowly opened the door. The last thing he wanted the brunet to deal with, besides the mutual killing fiasco, was a lecture from what could possibly be a cranky roommate.

Honestly, Makoto loves nothing more than his family. He takes a moment to reflect on all of his good memories while Leon searches for the keys. He shuffles in place a little, nodding. "Yes...they're wonderful. I don't think I could ever live up to my parents. My sister, maybe. She's quote-unquote 'accidentally' tripped me over the stairs about six times," he says, doing the air quotes to match. "I don't know though. She's so strong; a lot stronger than I ever was."

Makoto nods in response to Leon's shushing gesture, scanning the area around him. Obviously, it's similar to his own dormitory. He looks to a corner near the door and starts planning to camp there. A sleepover sounds fun, to be honest. He's only been to one.

"Yeah, I heard Togami’s quite a bitch." He jested, "Lucky for you my roomate’s only…Well, weird. Uh, I know it’s gonna be totally unexpected and all but if we disturb him, surely he’ll understand, right? Maybe if we talk in a low voice, he won’t notice us." The worst case scenario is that, if his roommate did get bothered with the small addition of Makoto for the night, then Leon and Makoto would have to camp out somewhere…But then they wouldn’t be able to sleep. One of the new rules introduced stated clearly that it was "illegal" to sleep outside of the dormitory floor. A punishment would be given if anyone broke that rule and, well, Leon didn’t want another near-death experience. He began walking down the halls, stealing glances from left to right, trying to see if there was anyone near.

“Naegi…" He began, his voice light. He felt flattered with the fact Makoto was considerate about the safety of both of them—-But breaking their friendship off? It wasn’t worth it. Leon’s expression almost immediately hardened. "We could still be friends and be safe, y’know..It doesn’t have to be like this…” He stepped forward and reached out to grab the brunet’s hand, he could see how shaken up the poor teen was. However, at the last moment, he realized what he was doing and awkwardly grabbed Makoto’s wrist instead.

safe.

He's acutely surprised when he feels that warmth envelop him. It almost starts shaking him up even more, so he forces himself to really listen to Leon's words and really comprehend them. He chuckles lightly at Leon's last statement.

You fucked up. The very thought circled Leon’s mind. You shouldn’t have kissed him, you idiot. He was just caught up in the moment, so stupid—selfish, even. He just wanted Makoto to stay with him. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently so. The silence that looked throughout the corridor easily answered that for him. Makoto must have been disgusted at him now, appalled. Leon breathed in and took a step back. There was no way Makoto swung that way, of course. No matter how attractive Leon was, he couldn’t charm someone into changing their sexuality just for him.

'I-I said I was sorry, Naegi…” Leon spoke up again. Could he make the situation better, “I'm…I'm not actually like that. I—I just forgot who I was dealin' with, that's all…” Leon let out a nervous string of laughter. Yes, lie your way out of it, dumbass. Lying. That’s probably the only thing Leon knew how to do well, besides baseball. “I mean, normally, that kind of tactic would work for a gal and—Naegi, please..I said I was sorry…” Cautiously, Leon took another step back. He couldn’t let his heart pour out again. He breathed in and closed his eyes. 

It’s over.

His friendship with Makoto was truly over..

"I...I'm sorry, please wait," Makoto says softly, attempting to call out to him but barely finding the voice. "Please stay, I'm sorry." He continues staring down at his feet, unsure of how best to deal with the situation. He almost feels like bursting into tears. He'd be lying if he didn't say Monokuma's speech had put significant wear and tear on him. He doesn't want to lose this friendship-

Y-Yeah, I’m fine now. Uh…

[ Subconsciously, he rubbed his neck with one of his hands.]

Heheh…God, imagine if that knife actually got me! I’d be gone—forever. That’d be like, really bad, right? 

[ He gave a semi-shy smile.]

no, i wouldn't dream of participating in this...i refuse. i refuse to lower myself to killing anybody. none of us are bad people; none of us deserve that.