Im not friends with my friend group anymore , and I have been very toxic in some aspects , I get triggered and emotional extremely easily, I don’t feel well and I have very extreme reactions to things that they may view as small and insignificant, anyway I had a massive breakdown and I blocked them all because I always feel excluded by them and triggered , not the best thing to do but when I’m literally crashing out trying to kill myself it’s not like I’m particularly in my best mind , I then unblocked them because that’s wrong and well , turns out they all unadded me everywhere and they’re talking shit on Twitter saying I’m a shit person and that I was born to be alone , i understand he’s triggered and hurt but i think that’s a crazy thing to say to a person who’s clearly unwell , i don’t want to hide behind mental illness but it’s quite literally a major part in my life , and i simply don’t need someone who is so quick to say those things in my life , im tired of the glamorization of drugs and self harm and destructive behavior, i can’t be sober when im around them , its simply an stablished dynamic and i can’t deal with that anymore i was selfish but i never tried to hurt them , or said anything with the purpose of harming them , that doesn’t mean I didn’t and I’m sorry for that , but I’m so tired too , of everything, I don’t feel seen , I don’t feel loved , and I have to put in the effort too and it’s my fault too and my thoughts and who I am for the moment but i can’t be with people like this anymore , im very sad , I’m very unstable but I feel free , I’m sad I want to die , but I feel free
titsay
vaporwave
snowghoul
blakekathryn