so it goes

Like so many women are so, so careful before they commit to a man in any way because he could turn out to be a horrible abuser. They find one they think is different, one they think they can trust, and as soon as they’re legally bound to him he turns out to be exactly what they feared he would be.

That’s horrible.

And, I can say from personal experience, it is embarrassing to get divorced almost immediately after being married. No one cares about how long you were together beforehand or what happened, they just think “Oh it only lasted a year, she’s so irresponsible”. On top of it being exceedingly difficult to get help from the police or other legal assistance(especially if you live together, share funds, children, property, etc.), there’s a heavy stigma that comes with it, only isolating abuse victims further.

- don’t make us justify why we got divorced and don’t feel entitled to the details of what happened.

- don’t contribute to the stigma around divorced women that says we’re irresponsible, or that something must be wrong with us.