i. ❛ 𝓘 KNOW DEATH NOW, I’VE SEEN IT ❜
⋮ ⌗ ┆funeral director 𝓂egumi x grieving 𝓇eader series 𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🪦
゛chapter summary :: woken up by a sudden phone call late at night, your learn that your dear mother has passed from tuberculosis. amidst the grief and regret, you find a funeral home card that connects you to megumi fushiguro.
゛content warning :: loss of parent, mentions of cigarette usage, death, heavy grief, angst(1.9k)
you stirred awake by your cellphone, trembling incessantly by your bedside. you groaned, rubbing your eyes—which were barely open— as you brought the blanket by your torso, allowing it to bring warmth into your body.
with a cold hand, you mindlessly picked up your cellphone and placed it by your left ear and balanced it with your shoulder, you were barely awake before hearing your younger sister’s voice on the line. you snapped your eyes wide open as you sat up instantly, your breath growing shallow.
“y/n.. i..” you heard your sister's voice choke on the line, the audio slightly cut off by the wind, your grip tightened around your cell phone.
“you’re fucking with me.” she had barely said anything but judging by the unexpected late night call and the shiver of her voice, you knew.
“no.. she’s..” ragged sob’s came out of the other line, despite it all, you were in disbelief, your body has caught onto grief before your mind has.
“doris just.. fuckin’ say it..” you whispered, sliding out of bed but your legs failed you as you crumbled onto the cold floor below you. and when she didn’t answer, you hung up on her. bile rose on the back of your throat & your stomach twisted on itself uncomfortably.
you barely put on a coat despite it being early october, calling an uber with one hand before rushing out of your apartment complex.
you waited impatiently on the apartment steps, bouncing your knee until you’d bitten your lips raw.
the uber notification on your phone buzzed, causing you to flinch before realising your taxi was just around the corner.
your heart hammered against your ribs, running to the taxi and catching the driver completely off guard when you yanked the cab door open and sliding in.
the poor driver couldn't even utter another word, you told him your location and he didn't question you when he saw the unadulterated panic in your face.
the drive there made you sick, maybe it was the bumpy road that made you queasy or the thought of seeing your mother veiled in a white coat made you lightheaded.
hot tears threatened to spill yet a part of you clinged onto illogical conclusions; maybe that wasn't your sister on the phone, maybe they mistook your mom for another woman, or maybe this was a sick prank for you to finally visit your dying mother at the hospital after neglecting her for so long.
you handed the driver his cash before stepping out the cab, your legs threatening to give out on you as you rushed in. the harsh overhead lighting abused your senses when you stepped into the sterile and obnoxiously white atmosphere.
"excuse me.. are you y/n l/n?" the doctor looked at you, her gaze softened and remorseful. "yeah." was all you uttered before she paused, giving you a concerned glance towards you. she could tell you were in distress.
"why don't you sit down and—"
“—will you tell me where my mother is before i go find her myself?" your voice came out harsher than intended. the doctor cleared her throat, warily nodding.
you followed behind her steps, every step to the room felt heavier, your throat started locking up and exhales growing ragged.
you blinked away the hot tears before they even dared to spill. when the doctor paused by the door that was wide open, you gasped.
your younger sister, doris, stood by the white bed, holding onto the metal railing as she looked at your mothers face —that was once looked just like yours but her skin turned into a paler shade, eyes closed shut, and no sign of life— you stepped into the room and doris's head tilted towards yours, dry tear streaks down her cheek.
you bit your trembling lower lip, an ugly sob escaping your throat before she rushed to pull you into a tight embrace. her shoulders shook against you as you wrapped your own arms around her warm body.
"fuck— i'm so sorry.." your voice muffled against her sweater, your tears creating a damp spot on her clothes. her fingers tangled onto your frizzy curls.
you both sat on that tight embrace, your head practically began throbbing from how much you cried. "y/n.." she whispered, making you look at her—which you doubtfully did—hardly looking into her eyes in guilt.
"she's not mad at you, you know.." she added, wiping the damp tears that cascaded down your cheeks, finally, you turned your gaze into hers, watching her plant a small smile on her face despite the given situation.
"she was struggling for too long, she isn’t in pain anymore." she muttered in an attempt to comfort herself you yet somehow that didn’t ease the sorrow.
the silence lingered for a moment before you finally looked at your mothers cold body, which was once warm. you reached for her hands and curled them with yours, looking at your mother's face.
"i'm so sorry mom.." you whispered, pressing your head against the cool railing, you found yourself crying once again but weakly.
your moms hand felt too weak, too slim against yours yet it was the heaviest thing you carried.
a quiet knock from the door made you and doris—without hesitation— spun your head towards it, watching a nurse walk in with an apologetic smile.
"i'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. we need to step in and do some post mortem care to get your mother ready. would you like a few more minutes with her or would you prefer to step out to the waiting room?"
you turned to doris who paused, mouth parted, it was clear to you she didn't know what to say. you cleared your throat and wiped your cheek, finally letting go of your deceased mothers hand.
"we're ready." you muttered, intertwining your fingers with your doris as she finally snapped out of her daze.
"you okay?" you muttered, watching her shake her head. it was a stupid question you admit.
you both stepped out the room, settling into the cool metal chairs while still not letting go of your doris’s hand, watching the nurses close the door shut behind them.
for the next fifteen minutes, all you could hear was the muffled noises of the nurses inside the room. even though they were preparing the body for the morgue, somehow that eased that ache on your chest. a part of you felt like she was still alive as long as she wasn’t dug six feet under.
you watched workers—whom you assumed are nurses—behind your blurred vision, clicking the door open and pulling out the bed that was now concealed with a white cloth, carrying the body to the morgue.
doris stood up with her hand pressed onto her chest, watching the workers carry your mothers cold body away. your grip tightened around the damp tissues on your hands.
“excuse me, ms l/n?” the kind nurse approached you both, holding a clear plastic bag with various items that you could barely make out; a phone perhaps, a wallet, a sweater and some other things. “this is for you. it was your mothers.”
you swallowed past the dry lump on your throat, avoiding eye contact. doris reluctantly grabs the plastic bag from the nurse's hand while muttering a quiet thank you under her breath.
you were both left alone with the plastic bag that suddenly felt too heavy to bare, you both stared at it in dread before your sister spoke up. “you should take it.”
immediately, you shook your head. “i can’t..”
she paused, finally turning her head to yours, gaze hardening all of a sudden. “this is the least thing you can do for mom, y/n.”
“do you think mom wants a deadbeat daughter taking her stuff?” your brows furrowed in annoyance, you couldn't help but let your voice raise unintentionally, earning glares from patients who passed by.
doris shrinked in embarrassment, tilting her head away from yours. “please don’t start now.” she muttered under her breath, you pressed your lips in a straight line, looking at the shiny tiles below you.
“just… i won’t ask you for more. just take the bag. i—“ her breath stuttered, choking on her sobs. “please, y/n.”
the walk to the bench—waiting for your taxi— felt heavy, your heart weighed on guilt of both not being present in your mothers life and the plastic bag you currently carried tightly around your hand.
the dark sky slowly started turning brighter— orange and yellow hues splattering onto the sky as if it was another beautiful morning, as if the world had moved on from your mothers death already.
you reached to your back pocket and pulled out a cigarette, placing it between your lips and bringing the lighter near the tip of the cigarette, you attempted to ignite the cigarette yet the lighter was all empty.
yanking the cigarette from your lips in frustration, you slid it back into the box and eased it back onto your pocket, mentally cursing yourself for not replacing the lighter sooner.
you sat on the wooden bench, the plastic bag settled next to you, you could've sworn it felt like it was mocking you, you were itching to throw it away completely.
somehow doris convinced you to keep it, even if it didn’t feel good. even if it made you sick to your stomach.
slowly, you extended your hand to the bag and untied it open. you peeked on the inside of the bag seeing various items stacked on top of one another, it was more clearer to you now.
the first thing was your mothers keys. her house keys.
tiny ladybug chains hooked onto the house key, earning a wet chuckle from you. nostalgia suddenly overwhelmed you with memories where your mom would let a ladybug crawl onto her face, onto the bump on her nose.
a faint memory from so long ago made you tear up once more, the next thing you found was her brown leather wallet that was barely holding on.
you expected to find her debit cards and id and maybe some cash, although that was true, what you found next was unexpected.
a laminated business card for a funeral home, your heart dropped.
immediately, you disregarded the other items momentarily, reading the name of the funeral home card that read solace memorial estate under it, it had the number to contact the funeral home.
you didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that your mother anticipated this day hence why she probably had this card slid onto her wallet or that the bag should’ve been entrusted with doris and not you.
you decided that, since matters fell onto your hand, this was the one thing you willingly decided you’ll do for your mom. you felt like you owed her, even a little bit.
the breeze picked up, sending shivers down your spine.
pulling your phone from your pocket, you dialed the number written on the business card, it buzzed softly against your ear before the other line picked up.
“thank you for calling solace memorial estate. this is megumi fushiguro speaking, how may i help you?” the man spoke in a practiced, soft tone.
you bit your dry lower lip. “um hi..” you swallowed hard, looking at the business card.
“my mom.. she passed..” you paused, hearing a silent sigh from the other line of the phone. “i’m sorry for your loss, ms..?”
“okay ms y/n.” he affirmed, hot tears trickled down your face once more as you rushed to wipe them.
“is just.. my mom left a card with your funeral home and i don’t know what to do next.”
prev. masterlist → next. coming soon!
゛authors note :: i had to let this marinate in the drafts before posting it lowkey. yall should’ve see the amount of bookmarks i have saved just for this first chapter
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