Chronicles

@lovejapan55 sorry I'm answering to you here instead of under the same post but this got so long my god I always have so much to say when it's about Lavi and Allen lmao

But yeah I actually do think Lavi is worried for Allen, it's just that Lavi's always hidden his feelings given the role he covers (especially now that he's officially Bookman) so you need to read the subtext with him to figure out exactly what he's fishing for most of the time - you can tell he cares and he's still putting Allen first from the fact that his first priority when he woke up to seeing Allen over him was to warn him that the Noah probably knew where he was, now. I mean, by all means if he were putting his role as a Bookman over everything else (which he should have! Since he woke up specifically thinking he couldn't die cause he needed to keep recording!) he would have first worried about Allen curing him and then he'd have mentioned the Noah, since by then they definitely already knew that Allen was there so mentioning sooner or later wouldn't change much - but to me the first couple of pages really do read like Allen worrying over Lavi and Lavi dismissing said worry to worry instead over the danger Allen has put himself into by going to him

But then you have to think about what Allen tells him right after too - I did mention this already but the face Lavi makes when Allen speaks of the other person inside him is interesting, especially because as far as Lavi knows right then the only other person inside Allen is Neah. The page when Allen says that Lavi is this other person's only hope and that he won't let him die because of this is probably the moment Lavi figured something had shifted inside of Allen, and the person he was talking to wasn't necessarily someone he knew (and could trust implicitly) anymore

The thing about Lavi is that he's always worn a mask, but also that said mask has always slipped pretty easily when it came to Allen - putting shipping aside for a short second, under every light and for all purposes Allen is Lavi's best friend. The way Lavi acts around Allen has had Bookman forced to remind him that they're not there to make friends way more than once in the past, and still Lavi has gone so above and beyond to protect him and fight for him anyway that in the ark he outright comes out of a near death experience saying "bookman will be pissed but I don't regret this one bit" - so that Lavi is concerned about Allen is without a doubt, to me. Lavi is always concerned about Allen.

Granted that the person he's talking to is actually still Allen, because this is an exception he makes specifically for Allen.

The reason why I'm pointing all of this out is that if you keep all of this in mind the scene where Lavi asks Allen to tell him what he went through has layers that are pretty easy to understand, imho - it is, on surface level, Bookman asking The Host to tell him his story (because Lavi has always operated with the mask on first and foremost) but at the same time on a deeper level it's Lavi asking Allen how much he can still trust him (because at his core Lavi will always be Allen's best friend, and he will always be willing to bend the rules for him so long as Allen stays Allen).

I think now more than ever Lavi will have to juggle and struggle between his role as Bookman and his identity as Lavi, what is expected of him (what is safe and right to do as Bookman) and what he wants to express (the risks he's willing to take as Lavi), so you can't really expect him to be outright emotive anymore unless it's a really extreme situation, which this obviously wasn't

All that said, I still AM unsettled by that Allen panel! Because honestly Lavi is right, Allen has crossed more than one line since the last time he's seen him (he's revisited his memories from back when he was with Mana and realised that maybe Mana isn't dead, he's remembered his past, he's met Apocryphos and even before then he's left the order with the Noah and started actively going against the innocence - Lavi has been missing for so long that Allen has gone over a million lines since he last saw him), but Johnny and Link have been with Allen every step of the way so why are they surprised by Lavi pointing it out? What has Lavi seen that they haven't noticed in the short seconds Allen has saved him?

- the way Allen is standing on the bed above Lavi in the very first page (self-explanatory) (I'm ill)

- how Allen goes "close your eyes" (i don't want the image of me stabbing you to be in your head) and how Lavi answers "don't think about me, this thing is a surveilling eye" (just get it over with my sole presence here is endangering you and I'm tired of it) and how Allen answers "come now" (don't be ridiculous, what are you even talking about) - and the way they go at this whole exchange so calmly and sweetly I'm eating concrete they're so precious to each other how do I deal? I don't, that's how

- "I'm so happy to see you again, Lavi" (instant death to me I'm in shambles)

- the way Lavi looks at Allen when he mentions the "he who resides in me" - atp Lavi should have zero clues about the whole "the previous Junior is part of me" deal so does he think Allen's talking about Neah? Is that why he calls Allen "the host" and tells him he's a mystery to him when he later wakes up? Did he for a moment there think that Neah was happy to see him? This is driving me nuts and it's completely inconsequential given that the possible misunderstanding immediately gets cleared but did he? Did he have the greatest what the everloving fuck moment there? I'll probably never know and that's driving me crazy

- this panel and how it reminds me so much of this other panel

and how in both instances Allen tells Lavi there's no way he's letting him die - how Crown Clown has been used to save Lavi's life twice already and how it'll always be safety and a shield to him (how this is the second time Allen tries to exorcise the noah out of him and how this time it actually WORKS) it's so!!!! It's so!!!!!!!!!!! OUGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I swear I have actual thoughts on this but you'll just have to trust my word for it i fear there's no way I'm being coherent rn

- Lavi sleeping (he's SOOOOOOOOO pretty I've missed him so much oh my GOD)

- everything about Naga actually lmfao now I understand even more why Hoshino a while back said "Lucia" was one of her favourite characters ("I chose out of preference" god I love him actually) (that said glad to finally know what The Fuck was up with little Lucia all those chapters ago, god. So many insane theories about that. Fucking Naga. I adore him.)

- Jo calling Bookman dad (????? I'm assuming he's not their biological dad given the whole "bookman has no need for a heart" deal, but does that mean that when he adopted p!Lavi he took in her too? Despite having to travel all over the place with p!Lavi to record wars? Or does she call him dad simply because p!Lavi did? I'm so curious about this I want to know everything about the Bookman clan fr...) and how Allen says he's sad he didn't get to meet him again now that he has answers to give him (I'm so sad??? I'm so sad Bookman actually died without ever knowing just how much p!Lavi never stopped loving and missing him I'm gonna kms at this rate)

- Lavi leaning against the door and every panel of his after my GOD hoshino has been drawing him prettier and prettier he's everything to me I'll never be normal about him ever

- "I'm sick of sleeping" who are you and what did you do to my sleepy rabbit (joking about this because it actually makes me so sad and I don't know how to explain why but...sob sob)

- whatever the fuck this panel implies

???????? and right after Lavi called him out on having crossed a line too OKAY THEN I'll just pretend this isn't the most foreboding thing ever and keep living I guess

- the way they're FINALLY questioning the innocence out in the open and how the fact that Allen wants to talk to Neah might imply that we're finally getting answers on what happened with Neah and what the actual deal with the war is??? Like??? We're actually going there??? For real???? And I'm supposed to act normal too okay whatever I'll try to be quiet as I eat glass ig