Fragile Things

your love has made me buy silly, overpriced, heart-shaped things instead of the usual ones. your love has made me stop and stare at the stars a little longer, wondering if they see us too. your love has made me want to draw again. your love has made me want to care for myself, because you see me as someone worth loving. your love has changed me—it has led me to places i never imagined i’d wander to, places within myself, within life. your love has made me soft in all the best ways. it’s made me look at the world with gentler eyes, with more patience, more hope. more love. you’ve taken my heart in your hands, and i’ve promised to keep yours safe, forever.

smiling until your cheeks ache. laughing so hard you can’t breathe. playing like children, chasing each other through the rain, through the sunlight, through the years. hiding, hiding, hiding and then searching, always finding. hurting. crying. apologizing. holding on, a little tighter every time. still here. still close. still yours. loving in whispers, in shouts, in silence, in every unspoken word. keeping safe—not just the body, but the heart, the soul, every fragile, precious piece. loving. keeping. trying.

your kisses feel like sunlight on my skin.

everything reminds me of you. every love song, every soft-spoken quote, every corner of this world. i see us in faded photographs tucked away in vintage stores. in old couples holding hands as they walk, leaning in. in two shooting stars falling for each other across the sky. i see us flickering on the screen of every romance film, woven into the pages of every love story. i see us always finding each other in every universe. i see you in the faces of passing strangers, in the quiet spaces between my thoughts. i close my eyes, and it’s you, you, you—always you. my heart searches for you without thinking, always reaching, always longing for your closeness.

i carry two of the deepest fears: one is something happening to you, beyond my control; the other, is me hurting you—something within my hands. i’m so afraid of losing you. you are the warmth of my soul, the light in my heart. the thought of losing you is unbearable, like losing a part of myself. how is it possible for someone to be so, so incredible in every way? how is it possible for me to have the luck to spend my life with you?

i’ve never understood people who mourn the tension of the flirting stage, who miss the thrill and the butterflies of that time. since i got the chance to love you—freely, openly, completely—I’ve been falling deeper for you every single day. it’s a privilege to love you. it’s a blessing to be loved by you. every day since that rainy, windy tower, i’ve fallen harder and harder. the excitement never faded. it only grew. oh, my dearest, how i love you.

you make me feel like the happiest person in the world

oh, how i wish i could have met you as a child. in the gentlest, most innocent way. i wish i could step into the past, even for a day, just to care for that little angel the way he deserved. to take you to the playground, buy you something sweet, hold you tight, and tell you that you’re the most wonderful boy in the world. i wish i could tell you how proud i am of you, that i see you, i hear you, i love you. that one day, you’ll be surrounded by people who cherish you, by love so constantly, and never again will you be left alone. i wish i could lift you up, shield you from the world and just take every ounce of hurt away. oh, my baby, my dearest, how i wish.

the intimacy of sleeping together, but not in a sexual way. the intimacy of feeling the warmth of their body in a cool room. their hands hugging you tightly. the intimacy of synchronized breathing. sleepy half-kisses. feeling safe. feeling warm. waking up and realizing how much you love them. how precious this is. finding the happiness on the tip of your fingers, brushing their hair. closing your eyes again. pulling closer. falling asleep.

the smell of his skin. his morning voice. his hair when it's messy. the warmth of his hands. his body moving slowly. the spark in his eyes when he's excited. his smile. his soft lips. feeling the weight of his body. his laugh. the way he talks. forehead kisses. nose kisses. butterfly kisses. his touch. his soft, pure heart. the mole on his cheek. everything about him. he. him. his.

i never imagined the warmth of the sun could be embodied by love—until i met you. in your touch, i felt a light i never knew could exist, as if every ray of sunshine found its home in your heart. just like i did, too.

i want to write you a poem. or a poem about you. i want to fill every page with words that are only yours. i want to paint your portrait, capture the beauty of a moment, a scenery, a dream. i want to write you a song, and sing it to you each night, a melody just for your ears. i want to craft you a gift, cook you a meal, to offer you the entire world. i want to give you everything a human is capable of, and mourn the things i cannot. i want to give you my heart, my body, my soul—everything that i am, so that you always feel my love.

not a lot, just forever.