☕❤

First class drained my energy. The only thing I hope for this semester is not cry. I'm so tired with crying for the same reason for straight four semesters. Waiting to go back to Raub just for me to rest up my mind even it is only for four months. I want to take care of my mental health, so I hope that I dont get stress with studies.

Finally. Its been a long time and I finally here.

I'm about to ask for his number phone (He did back to his 2nd country, so he changed his phone number again) Well yeah, I decide to just follow my heart and keep loving him even if it is one side crush. But then, he did reply 'ok' in the middle of conversation and got me speechless. Okay thing starts when he said I dont want to give him my ig acc when I dont really use it. We fought about this before. I mean he dont give a valid reason for me to give him my acc tho. He keep pushing me to give him my pass n etc n ofcourse I got annoyed cause who's the hell he is? Okay, I love you but this one side crush doesnt allow you to ask me to do this and that. So back to the topic, I then explain to him that I can't really give him my acc cause its not like I dont use my acc at all. My college do update everything on ig and yup.. He did reply 'ok' to that.. and I'm so pissed off right now! I mean I'm alone in this one side crush and what now??? You want me to be alone in this friendship too??? Dude, I notice this for years already. I'm the only one who wants to be friends with you and the only one thought that this friendship is not just a normal friendship. I mean we most likely a bestie but you just... I know I'm stupid cause I might text you first after this.. So stop.. At least find urself a girlfriend so I can keep a distance between us!!

Hi there, I miss you. Lol guess i do huh? I did gave u my number. Through the ig's story ofcourse. N ofcourse this is not the 1st time and not even the 2nd time. Then u said, its better for 'us' to dm u first n ask for ur number instead. I really miss you n want to talk to u. But I admit that I hv my ego. Why is it always me who's acting pathetic. Im tge only one who's want to be friends witb u. Yup honey. Im not gonna dm u to ask for ur phone number. Imma wait here till u pm me first even if I know its gonna take a freaking long time.

I miss you. Am I allowed to miss you?

People really need to stop give me attention. Just ignore me can you?

Macam binatang jenis yang selfish ni

The time will come when stop doing fangirling. It just I don't know when. The only thing I know is, I'm still going to be a fan even if I stop doing fangirling.

Remember this, they do not leave you. You're are the one who decide to leave.

I've got so many problems. Stress and frust.. I want to tell someone about this to make myself feel better. I need someone to comfort me.. But I'm not that brave.. I mean I don't want to burden someone to listen to my problem.. They might have their own problems.. So I don't want to make them feel more burden..

I don't think that my friends like me. I mean, they don't give me the same energy. I don't say I'm the only one who's being all good. Well, I don't even know what they feel about me. But sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who want to keep the friendship. For example, in our group chat.. It looks like I'm the most person who's likely who want to have a conversation or video call or whatsoever else. I don't know.. I want to keep myself away from them.. But I can't.. I love my friends.. and even it hurts that I'm the only one who feel the love, I don't want to leave.. I don't know.. I can't think of any solution..

I miss you and couldnt say more