Benedict had spent most of his life searching for something; he wasn't even sure what. He'd spent winters stowed away in snowy cabins and summers sprawled on the brightest beaches, his footsteps leading him all across the world in search of something - maybe even someone. A look, a feeling that would make him matter. All he'd ever relied on in the world was his faithful camera; it never judged him for that vulnerable, lost-boy streak that he denied at all costs and it accompanied him everywhere, on each of his travels and adventures. His younger sister Calli had managed to guilt-trip him home to rainy England where he had dark memories and even darker emotions that crashed around in his mind, desperate for a way to escape. He'd returned home with his camera and a backpack, promising himself one weekend and then he was leaving again. Then he'd met Demet - walked right into her in fact; as strong and fragile as he was and highly temperamental in nature, but completely approachable and heartfelt in her movements. He'd fallen in love right there and then, clinging to her arm in a fatal attempt to stop her crumbling to the ground. Although the wilderness of the world whispered his name in the bleakest moments when the walls closed in and dark clouds settled in his mind, he'd betrayed his own promise and stayed right there at the stables. He always knew she was leaving, that one day she would simply be gone; she had a family she missed and studies to return to, but she'd spent the year with his family and seemed to settle in more with them than he ever had done. He had felt stuck - not quite happy, but not quite depressed. Thick sludgy coffee was drunk by the gallon but he never woke up from the stupor as he watched with a faint smile as Demet spent the winter carrying around Cooky the cactus she insisted felt loneliness when she was gone too long, waking up to the fire alarm announcing that Demet's breakfast was now cremated and standing on the sidelines trying to capture the world through a lens. The world he missed, with endless space and freedom. And as suddenly as he'd had somewhere safe and almost a feeling of being home, he'd lost it. Lost her. He'd promised to let her go - he didn't want tying down to a person, or even a place. He wanted his old freedom back, the excitement of walking into the airport with no plan of where to go, just hope and his camera tucked away safely in his bag. But he'd betrayed it all and started searching online for a home. Somewhere he could start new with Demet; space for the many plants she tried to grow and the animals she rescued; space for him to walk and never find a barrier to stop him; views to capture with his camera and never feel trapped again. After almost a year, he was back in the air heading south; the ownership deeds to Nosaxa Stud tucked deeply into his pocket as he drove up the driveway under the glittering stars. And there she was waiting in the darkness, her beloved Cooky in her hands and that smile that made him feel home.
