Day 13: The last straw / Choosing sides

 I swallow thickly, looking over everyone. Carver hasn't stopped staring me down since we got here. Like he knows I'm willing to die for all these people who followed me into this mess. Meredith and her forces will break in here soon. Anders has tied his hair back up at least, ready to see this through. Good… Sebastian didn't meet up again… we'll have to leave Kirkwall, no choice now.

Day 12: The one bright light in Kirkwall / Hawke's favor

Day 11: Magic exists to serve man / Mage rebellion

 "'Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him. Foul and corrupt are they who have taken His gift and turned it against His children. They shall be named Maleficar, accursed ones. They shall find no rest in this world or beyond.'" Father informs me sternly, "This is important to remember, Emikka. We who abuse our gift to harm and rule over others shall be hunted by Templars and the Maker will curse them to eternal damnation once they die." I swallow thickly as I blink back tears, nodding slightly…

I stare in horror as Merril takes down the barrier, swallowing down the vile taste bubbling in the back of my mouth. Maleficar… my breath caught in my throat, staying on guard now. Watching her closely… this can't be happening…

Day 10: The Hanged man / Friendship

 "Oh, I'm missin' the dirty joke again, aren't I?" Merril pouts at Isabella and I feel my cheeks warm and a grin I try to hide growing as I sip at my cup.

"Bela!" Fenris pleads to her through gritted teeth as she laughs warmly.

"What? It was lots of fun. I know my panties needed a wash after our rendevouz!" she says proudly and Merril snorts with a giggle.

Varric starts to deal the cards as Aveline sits down with more mugs, handing them out. Anders frowns, "At least if you keep it between you three you won't need any salves again." he teases and Aveline blinks, opening her mouth.

"No, Aveline. Don't ask. I want to change the subject already!" Varric pleads but laughs anyway. I blink in surprise as I see Seb walk into the Hanged Man. I raise my hand high enough so he could see and I wave him over. He frowns softly but comes over as I scoot over to give him space. "You playin', Choir Boy?"

"No, thank you," he sighs as though its obvious and it probably should be but-

"We won't bet anything this round," I offer hopefully and he blinks. His lips purses as he thinks.

"Very well, then."

I grin triumphantly, patting his back. This is a good day to celebrate a month since the qunari attack… a good distraction… I stare down at my hand through hooded eyes, smiling wrily. "Ey, who put the Hanged Man tarot card in the mix?" I snort as I notice it. Everyone goes quiet, staring at me in shock.

Bela leans over and Seb quickly grunts and averts his gaze to the ceiling as she looks at how its held in my hand. Its reversed to me… she frowns, snatching it from me. "Don't worry, probably me mixing my cards again, sorry, love." she muses but the crease in her brow makes me worry because it won't leave… Fenris nudges his drink to me without a word.

"Cheers to the Champion of Kirkwall, right? Lets have some fun with this round! Nothing to lose after all!" Varric quickly insists and then cringes.

"Aye! And… and we can go sleep in Varric's room after this round, lots of drinks in us!" Merril adds quickly.

"Yes, and Bela and I can recount our first meeting to you all! What fun lighting is in bed!"

I snort, "She likes lightning?"

"Oh, I love it!" Bela laughs.

Day 9: The city of chains / Rivalry

 This city mother hailed from - the very city that ripped her from me - gave me so much more family than I've ever had… this city of chains that feels like they drag me down sometimes.

I stare down at Anders, hot tears burning my eyes. He doesn't even look at me, just staring at my feet as his hair creates a curtain between us, "Justice and I are one, now, Hawke… I did this. Kill me, if only to atone for those I've sacrificed today. But Thedas needs to see the injustice of the Circles."

Aveline is first to speak up, "Kill him then!"

"He needs to pay! He killed innocents!" Sebastian barks.

Fenris then sneering, "Killing you will be easy! Too easy for you!" And I'm actually taken aback. I'd thought Fenris would want to kill him outright…

"Hey, it was a bold plan, at least." Bela offers, smiling wrily.

"I say he needs to pay by helping us fight, Hawke. His redemption." Merril insists with a frown.

"I'm tired of all these humans in dresses." Varric grumbles.

I clench my jaw, grabbing Anders by the front of his coat and yanking him to his feet. "You're not leaving me in this mess - not this big. You fight with us. These chains are all ours to carry today." I grit out, letting go of his coat. "Merril, go to the alienage, help the elves. Aveline and Fenris, are you with me to help the mages?" Aveline clecnhes her jaw before nodding - Fenris glares at Anders but nods as well. "Thank you. Keep the civilians out of the fighting for me, keep them safe from any abominations. Seb-"

"You're truly letting him live?" I blink, staring at him sadly as I nod. He bares his teeth at me as he storms towards me and Anders and I quickly stand in front of Anders, chest to chest with Seb. "He killed the Grand Cleric! Sisters and brothers! Who knows how many people in Hightown!"

"I know." he falters. "I know… and he did what you wanted to do, right? Got some vengeance for those he loved?" his breathing hitched from anger.

"That's not- If you don't kill him, I will."

"I won't let you. He was doing what he thought right."

"Then… then Kirkwall will be stormed. I'll make sure of it!"

"Oh? You want to hurt more innocents whom you just bemoaned, Seb?" I ask sternly, trying to get through to him. He's hurting. He has every right to be angry.

"Don't fight by my side, go help Aveline and the guard with the civilians. Then we can talk this over once we're all dead and in the after life." I offer and he stares me down for another minute before stepping back, storming off. I take a shaky breath.

Day 8: All that remains / Family

I stare at Carver as I try to catch my breath. I couldn't write him for all the time that's passed since… since… I try to swallow the lump in my throat, lips curling downards as I yank the jade pieces from its place on my staff. Unable to see straight right now as I grab the biggest piece and shove into his armored hand. It broke after… I clasp my hands over his now holding the jade. Clenching my jaw as I blink away the tears. I don't deserve to cry - not after failing her and Bethany like I have thus far. Not after almost failing Carver like I had- I tense as he suddenly hugs me tight. "You better have enough pieces for you too, Sister." he grits out sternly. I slowly hug him, tears falling now. I didn't have the heart to break it up more than it already is. 3 pieces. I had to decide who should have it. And right now… the other two are for Fenris and Isabela.

"I have two pieces for myself." I offer softly and Carver nods into my shoulder.

"Good. You better keep them." he slowly pulls back from the hug, staring me dead in the eyes. Frowning deeply. "I don't know if I'll come back again - at least not for another few years."

"R… Right." I rasp, frowning deeply. "Not like I'll be here though, will I?" I ask, not meaning to sound bitter but I felt it too deeply. That's why Carver was always so bitter. He titters sadly, tilting his head.

"Then I'll visit you wherever I hear there's the most trouble, yeah?"

Day 7: Our children, orphaned - light and song, stolen / Orzammar

I stare at Carika, its been a few days since we've gathered new allies - rallied them. Soon, we can start our onslaught to flank. But right now, we are in a libary corner, the door shut to give us some quiet. Its small and dusty, filled with so many books though… "So… the blight are titans' nightmares and fears… what will happen once the veil is torn down? Will they not come rushing out even more?"

"That's my thought too… Solas' plan was flawed but he was desperate…"

"Yet, here we are. Just a trickle of those nightmares got out… it truly will be the end when it all comes flooding out.." I watch as her brows furrow, staring down at a book… not reading it. She's thinking.

"I've spoken to Rook's companions and Morrigan as well… and I've thought of what I could do to truly help. Solas just wants to save people - or rather - spirits… and the titans at least deserve for their nightmares to end… maybe… maybe if he and I go in together, maybe we could… soothe the nightmares.. and then bring the veil down… maybe then…"

"Maybe then the casualties will be lesser…" I breathe out in realisation.

She nods, swallowing thickly. "'A wellspring drained. Light and song stolen. In darkness, long lamenting. Our children, orphaned.'" she breathes out, eyes glowing for a moment before they go back to normal… she looks over to me slowly, "I need to go there with him."

Day 6: The precipice of change / Witches of the Wilds

I swallow thickly as I look through the various notes Leliana had gathered for me… Avernus was truly onto something, even after he stopped killing Wardens to further his research… Architect stares over my shoulder at the notes… Kieran comes over with more journals and notes in hand. "The Divine sent these as well.." he offers softly, brows furrowed as he places a tattered journal on top of it all, opening on one page. Janeka is signed at the bottom of the page…

The Architect scoffs, "Trying to control a blighted magister with normal blood magic? Naive and foolish, if not just hopeful." he sighs. I nod in agreement as I skim over the writing.

"The Inquisitor killed Corypheus though, right..? How did she manage-?"

"I didn't, exactly…" Carika walks in, staring at the Architect cautiously. "I used the mark to… bend him into himself? I'm not exactly sure what happened. I was just so… furious and desperate to end him…" she sighs, rubbing between her brows. I nod slowly, frowning deeply.

"I apologize for not helping-"

"That's not- That's not fair to yourself, and you know that. You were away - struggling to keep your sanity!" She says quickly and for a moment I swear I could hear Shale in her. I titter tiredly, lowering my head. "Besides, we're not fighting the magisters right now, we're fighting the blight. And I have news of it." she starts but I can hear her hesitation… she forms an arm of crystal and rock - lyrium running through it - I can sense and see it. "The Blight comes from the titans… its their nightmares - their anger and fear - after they were sepertated from their bodies… lyrium is titan blood… and the fade keeps their dreams locked away and all dwarves seperated from them…"

I blink slowly as I stare at her… feeling sick to my stomach as I stand up sharply. Eyes wide as a spirit's rhymes suddenly rush back into my mind thanks to Mouse and now it makes sense. The joining… we use titan blood and blight - their nightmares - so we can fight against the nightmares and sense them. The purity of the lyriujm keeps us sane but the blight grows -

"If we can soothe the nightmares - we can stop the blight.." I breathe out shakily, Zevran can live… would it work? WOuld it truly astop the blight already in each warden? What would need to be done to soothe the nightmarees though? My ears are ringing as I lean on the table now - vision swimming.

'The nightmares are in the fade - we must find a way to get the nightmares out of the body!'

"Dallas…" I squint in confusion - not recognizing the voice but… it soothes me… I blink blearily, staring at a young man wearing a large hat… "Dallas, we need your help here. We cannot do anything of the fade… Rook will fix that." he ushers softly and he speaks not as a spirit this time… and then he does again, "Your curiosity and caution is needed here, your heart beats for him and his for you. Do not let yourself be pulled apart again…"

I swallow thickly, nodding slowly… "What do we need to do, Compassion…?"

"We gather all we can - all who seek shelter. Skyhold will stand - you only need your connections. The rest will follow."

I take a deep breath, steadying myself only to blink. He's gone..? Kieran is supporting me? Carika frowns deeply, "I apologize - I didn't mean to startle you, I thought maybe-"

"No… no. This is good news.." I insist quickly, "It helps. It gives hope. Now… all we need is to stay at Skyhold. We need to gather everyone - chasind, spirits, awakened darkspawn, mages, templars, dalish, servants, everyone. Orzammar will have to keep their ground. Until we can meet in the middle - until we can meet in the middle - and flank these sorry bastards. Kieran, your mother has taught you how to use the eluvians? We will use it to our advantage. Orlais is holed up in Halamshiral at this moment. They will need our help from there. We will take this slowly and carefully. We will win as long as we stand together."

Zevran struts into the room with a grin, "I introduce to you all, the Champion of Kirkwall - Emikka Hawke! Fresh from the fade itself, so please do be gentle-" he informs sternly and she barges in, breathing heavily as she stares up at the Architect who watches her cautiously in turn. Carika rushes over to her, eyes wide.

"You.. you're alive!"

"Y.. yes… but why are there darkspawn in Skyhold…? Why is there one here?"

"We are awakened, we do not heed the call of the gods nor the taint. We wish to aid in this war…" she swallows thickly as she sits down… she looks awful…

"Very well… I need to inform you, I have connections to the Dreadwolf's agents, if you are interested…" she sighs out, seeming resigned to whatever this chaos is. I perk, eyes widening in realisation.

"Do they-?"

"Hello…" a short, black haired elf comes in with a meek smile. "We were instructed to help fend demons off as Solas did his ritual.. but its all gone awry and so… we wish to help - in anyway we can. If all goes well, the ritual will be completed…" she rambles, "Oh, and we have even more eluvians to work with as well-" I laugh out warmly as I smile at the whole room.

"I apologize, but I am very grateful and relieved for more aid…" I offer softly and she smiles in turn, bowing her head in understanding.

"Oh, mi amore. This is for you…" Zevran gets out a letter and hands it to me. I read it over… shaking my head in disbelief…

"Sten can help us after we flank them - we can get ships up North to help Kirkwall and Starkhaven, until then, can most of your people help them?"

Merril nods, "Yes, of course!" Carika smiles at me, grateful.

Emikka frowns… "The fade - the veil - will be brought down anyway, huh..? Guess that old hag really did have a point, huh, Merril…? The precipice of change…" she hums quietly and my ear flicks.

Day 5: A rare thing to find amidst darkness / Gift

 Zevran rushes up to me, grabbing my face and kissing me- hard and longing and angry- he pulls away from the kiss, still gripping my cheeks, "You are an idiot! And I've never thought of you as one! What an achievement you've made, hm?" he scolds, tears in his eyes… I blink slowly, gently reaching up and wiping them as they fall, kissing his eyes one by one.

"Indeed… I always thought I was one though…" Zevran chokes out a laugh, weakly shaking his head in frustration. "Why jest like myself now of all times? You had me worried sick!" he coughs and my blood runs colder as I see blood trickle form his mouth. Dark blood… I blink back sudden tears as I try to recoil from Zevran but he slides a hand to the back of my head and grabs the front of my armor, "No."

I stare at him, stunned and instantly stopping. He takes a few deep breaths, "But I-"

"You are the other half of my soul - is that not what you call me? I am perishing faster only because you left me incomplete. So do not abandon me again." Zevran grits out sternly - looking me dead in the eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat, tears falling freely now as I slowly lower my head into the crook of his neck. Holding him tightly now, close. Our chests pressed together and it feels as though our heartbeats instantly fall into rhythm together again…

Day 4: Gates once bright golden forever shut / The Blight

 'Dallas, we must go!'

I shake my head, breathing heavily as I stare at all this blight. "My duty-"

"Father!" I jolt at the sound, Kieran grbabing my hand. I swallow thickly as I try to recoil from his touch but he intertwines our fingers instead. "Father, it is alright. You're covered." he reassures gently and I realise - yes. I'm wearing thick gloves… good… good. "Father, what did Mouse tell you?" he asks softly and I blink slowly… "That we must go.."

'Yes, yes, too dangerous… need help.. need more people..'

"That we need more people to handle it.."

"Very well, at least we know where to come to cut out the roots." Kieran hums in approval, gently pulling me along by our hands and I follow, looking back over my shoulder at the sight though. And then it clicks…

"Kieran, this isn't the blight that's the problem…"

"What?"

"I know this blight… I have a friend who can help us better… please, allow me to go in…"

"A… Alone…?"

"No, Mouse is with me-"

'Mouse wants to leave!' I am aware.

"Let me come with you!" Kieran insists quickly and I falter… staring at him… I smile sadly, squeezing his hand gently…

"Very well, as you wish. But only on one condition…" he stares at me intently, not about to agree before he hears it. I chuckle warmly. So his mother's son… "We cannot kill any darkspawn who do not attack first, we do not attack them - at all. Understood…?" Kieran's eyes widen before nodding slowly, following my lead now.

I keep a good grip on his hand, my other hand holding my staff with the lantern at the tip. I slow to a stop as a darkspawn stares me down and I smile warmly, "Greetings, friend… I wish to meet with the Architect if possible?" I request politely.

'This isn't good, Dallas. Dallas, there's blight all over. The darkspawn will attack-' It is alright. See? The darkspawn bows his head and starts walking deeper into the tunnel and I follow, tucking Kieran under my arm instead now as I hear his breathing hitch as more darkspawn come into view. 'They're watching us! Look at all the eyes in the dark-' Yes, yes, Mouse. But they aren't attacking, are they?

"Greetings, Commander of the Grey… it has been quite a while…"

I chuckle warmly, "Indeed it has, Architect. The blight has treated you kinder than it has me, it seems at the very least."

He nods in agreement, looking me over sadly, "I have no cure for-"

"Yes, I know…" I titter tightly, heart squeezing. "I am aware - but it is not why I am here… The South is in danger… we are being overrun by darkspawn unlike yours… If you could try -"

"I have tried… numerous times since they have come here…"

'Oh no…' Kieran grips my belt, still staring up at Architect.

"I see… so they are different…?"

"Indeed… they are under the spell of something even stronger than an archdemon.."

"Y-Yes… my mother says the blight is being controlled by two elves of old - would be gods…" Kieran offers in a small voice and I rub his back gently in thanks.

"So they are probably even older than you, Architect… we must fight them. We need your help… I beg of you…"

The Architect slowly turns his back to us, other darkspawn coming over and they start discussing it. He then slowly turns back to me, "You must understand not all will fight alongside you - but I will rally those who will."

I sigh shakily in relief, lowering my head, "That means more to me than you know, Architect… we might win this if we work together."

"Dallas, you must know one thing… when I entered the fade with other magisters like myself, we saw darkness - we corrupted gates once bright golden green… then it was slammed shut… screams and terror filled our minds…"

Day 3: In death, sacrifice / Grey Wardens

 I stagger into a swamp, following the sweet melody that numbs my aches… humming along softly to the tune. I stare ahead at another elf… "Hello, sweet warden… my kin of kin.." she greets softly, reaching out a hand and cupping my cheek thus I lean into the touch. Eyes hooded as I relax… "You must be exhausted, come… let us find you a room."

"A… room…?"

"Yes, you have returned home after all - we are close to Weisshaupt," she coos and starts guiding me along and for a moment I follow her only to falter… Weisshaupt isn't home…

'Zevran..'

Zevran is home… I slowly pull away from her… head lowered…

"I cannot go home…" I wince as I slowly look up at her… she's all twisted up… my breathing hitches as I look her over, blinking back tears. Zevran cannot end up like this because of me…

'Cure.. we have to find the cure…'

Yes, a cure… I'm up here for a cure… How did I stray so far from the Anderfels…? I blink blearily, "What is your name, m'lady…?" I manage to ask softly. And she stares at me for a long moment, as though she's forgotten.. and for a moment I relaise I had forgotten my own name as well.

"…Isseya. My name is Isseya…" she rasps out slowly, staring at me, "What is yours?"

I swallow thickly, blinking slowly… 'I am Mouse… you are Dallas Surana..'

"Dallas Surana..." I offer softly, bowing my head respectfully, "Thank you for your hospitality, Isseya, but we will take our leave now…" I murmur politely and start staggering back from where I came from - I think.

'Yes… keep going… I'll guide you… Just keep listening to me - there's no music - if there is - you ignore it.' Music…? I nod my head slowly though, just staying on the path Mouse shows me.

'Remember Zevran?'

Yes… Zevran… "Ember…"

'Yes, yes. Your Ember flower. What color are his eyes?'

"Brown…" with beautiful golden speckles in them…

'Very good, Dallas. And his hair?'

"Black…" but he had it bleached when we met…

'Oh? I came to know him with the black hair.'

Yes… his roots started coming out and I noticed them… asked him about it - never seen anything like it before… and he told me it was part of trying to kill himself… I encouraged him to let new memories grow - let his old hair be part of the new…

'Good… do you regret taking me in…?'

No, Mouse… not for a single day… what I do regret is letting Zevran stay with me and catch the blight…

'Right, we must find a cure for you both.'

Yes… in my death, sacrifice - as long as he gets the cure then…

'Very well, friend… I shall be with you until the end… and then ensure the cure reaches him.'

Day 2: For the good of Ferelden / Duty

I clench my jaw, gripping Spellweaver tightly as I do as Alistair instructed me. Mythal's Blessing gripped in my other hand. I am trying to learn to better fight with a sword and shield - since I've been mostly using a dagger and sword with some help from Zevran for training… but I can feel Sten staring at me in disapproval. He comes over, "Enough. You are not a defensive fighter and look like a newborn lamb!"

I swallow thickly, frowning deeply as I sheath the sword and put it down with the shield. Sten hands me Ageless and I stand firm this time isntead of the first time I picked it up and nearly toppled over. "See? You have grown in strength. Try it like this instead," he encourages as he takes Asala and stands where Alistair was. Demonstrating what I need to do and I watch closely… before doing the same. Sten watches me… clenching his jaw, "You are an offensive fighter. But this too seems not akin to you.." he sighs, "I only worry the archdemon will not be affected by a sword and puny dagger," he insists and I smile warmly.

"I'll train more with Ageless then. I can use it against the archdemon."

Sten hums in approval at this, "Good. Let us try again. It is, after all, your duty to slay it."

I stab my dagger into the general's eye before piercing its heart with my sword. Panting heavily as I look up at the archdemon, grabbing Ageless and storming at the blighted dragon.

Day 1: Older blood, older oaths / Origins

I blink blearily, staring ahead numbly… Mouse and I hear the song even from the Fade… I lower my head, staring through my lashes at the black guck on the forest floor…

"The spirits here are growing ever restless… something is happening, Dallas."

"Yes, I fear for what it will do to this calling…"

I sigh softly, ear flicking as I try to tune into it. Only to gasp as a spirit whisks past us before floating back curiously… I stare in awe at it.

"Curiosity fused with Caution… what a peculiar way to soften," It chimes almost playfully and I shake my head with a warm laugh. Another spirit akin to the Grand Oak…

"Greetings… I am Dallas Surana and Mouse, do you perhaps know what is going to happen? Is someone doing rituals?"

"A ritual to return the world as it were, a sad wolf wishes to stop death, he shall not let it be again a defer, for all require fresh breath.."

I frown softly in confusion, smiling softly though, "I see…"

"You too shall have fresh breath, you are of old blood, from living death… you will most strongly feel the flood. Essence of spirits, blood of mortals, nightmares of titans - all stir within you - what shall you become if one were to rule over the other?" it circles me closely as it sings this softly - puzzling me, "Oh, what a sight you will be to behold - older blood even than normal mortals - now having an older oath to uphold!" it chirps before flittering off and I quickly rush after it.

"Wait, what if it is a trap-?"

"What if it knows answers to questions I've had for decades?" I counter Mouse as I reach out to the spirit! "Please! Indulge me more?" I call hopefully and it slows to a stop in front of an old wolf statue… no… a Fen'Harel statue…

"Your mother's promise was to the Dreadwolf - he who freed the slaves from would be gods… she whom was a lone wolf, from the time of those very frauds! She had children with two of death - one of humble and one of fierce last breaths. Yet you are all that remains of her blood… the nightmares of titans claimed both half relations… the very one she served shed fiercely yours lifeblood…" it chimes sadly, flittering back towards me. "The nightmares of titans are slowed by Caution… will you live to uphold the olden oath then? Or will it all be for naught and ashen?"

"What olden oath?"

"To correct a fatal sin - a sin borne of remorse and love and twisted - you carry it now within - nearly resisted. Will it all be for naught? Or shall more of it burst forth before it can be tamed? Do not let it rot… he is ashamed…"

I shake my head, frowning as I try to piece this all together, "So, you say I did have two half relations… you say they both died from what I carry now? Myth'Ra and Arion…" the two elves that Duncan recruited, did he know? Or was it simply fate we all met at all? My mother cannot be from the Dreadwolf's time though? That would make her centuries old! Albeit, I have seen enough in the fade to know there are things in this world I have yet to learn - there is always information yet to be found…

I jolt awake as I feel myself be shaken, looking up at Zevran with a soft smile. "Ah, my Ember…" I greet warmly as I try to blink the sleep away - his brows are furrowed so…

"G-Good morning, mi amor… you slept so long and deep! What sweet dreams you must have had.." his voice is strained and his eyes red - yet he tries to smile so sweetly at me and I reach up gently, caressing his cheek before kissing him softly.

"I apologize for worrying you… I met a spirit. But none are as sweet as you." I hum gently, nudging our noses together.

you would receive the supply once a month

the brand/type will vary so you could