HEATHERS: THE MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS
TW: suicide, ns/fw themes, violence, drugs
“college will be paradise if i’m not dead by june.”
“what can i say? i’m a sucker for a happy ending.”
“you’re a high school has-been waiting to happen. a future gas station attendant.”
“if i took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, i’d have matching halves. that’s very important.”
“you’ve come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick?”
“it’s time for you to prove you’re not a loser anymore.”
“maybe sesame street is on.”
“keep on testing me and end up like her!”
“why, when you see boys fight, does it look so horrible yet feel so right?”
“i shouldn’t watch this crap.”
“could you be seen with me and still act proud?”
“no point planting roots when you’re gone in a hurry.”
“does your mommy know you eat all this crap?”
“when the voice in your head says you’re better off dead, don’t open a vein.”
“let’s get naked in my pool!”
“so it’s salt, then lime, then shot?”
“a hot guy smiled at me!”
“hey, is that weed? i want a hit!”
“i think that’s what they call ‘third base’.”
“i wasn’t gonna come, but since you took the time to write that sweet note…”
“people wouldn’t hate you so much if you acted normal.”
“what are you doing in my room?”
“you’re my last meal on death row.”
“shut your mouth and lose them tightie-whities.”
“it’s ‘cause you’re beautiful.”
“you say you’re numb inside, but i can’t agree.”
“i think you tore my mattress!”
“no one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.”
“jesus, you’re making me sound like air supply!”
“call me when the shuttle lands.”
“maybe i can help the world by leaving.”
“you’re very quiet. what’s on your mind?”
“holy crap! this is awesome!”
“you got a left hand, use it.”
“my balls are in your court!”
“you are the only thing that’s right about this broken world.”
“how did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?”
“i’d trade my life for yours.”
“well i was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport.”
“what the fuck have you done?”
“i’ve been thinking. praying. reading some magazines.”
“they took a rebel stance!”
“that was one hell of a fishing trip.”
“we don’t choose who lives or dies.”
“don’t you want a life with me?”
“if you could let me in, i could be good with you.”
“you’re right, that really blows.”
“i’ll stay if i’m what you choose.”
“deep inside of everyone there’s a hot ball of shame.”
“no volunteers? fine. i’ll start.”
“i faked it, every single time.”
“everyone’s pushing! everyone’s fighting!”
“there’s nowhere to hide.”
“stupid childproof caps—”
“you don’t deserve to live!”
“you’re gonna die alone.”
“he was sweet. he said that i was smart.”
“now we’re all grown up and we know better.”
“certain girls are meant to be alone.”
“i believe that any dream worth having is a dream that should not have an end.”
“oh my god, is s/he dead—?”
“we’ve been worried sick!”
“i’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now!”
“you don’t know what my world looks like!”
“sorry for coming in through the window—dreadful etiquette.”
“you’re my date to the pep rally tonight!”
“they’re keeping you away from me.”
“you left me and i fell apart.”
“i was meant to be yours.”
“can we not fight anymore please?”
“sure, you’re scared, i’ve been there.”
DEAD GIRL WALKING (REPRISE)
“no one here deserves to die—except for me and the monster i created.”
“it’s one more dance and then farewell.”
“yeah, well, s/he’s wrong about a lot of things.”
“this little thing? i’d hardly call this a bomb.”
“i wish we’d met before they convinced you life is war.”
“stick around here. make things better.”
“you beat me fair and square.”
“we are done with acting evil.”
“my date for the pep rally tonight kind of… blew me off.”
“are there any happy endings?”
“i’d be honored if you let me be your friend.”
“if no one loves me now, someday someone will.”
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