find hope

i left cause i felt shitty and ifollow a shit ton of people here and it was just getting evrwhelming and there were a lot of posts and shit making mefeel bad and i’m naturally a really jealous person and i would get jealous of things and that was kinda not cool for me 

and i still feel that way and i am not going to be full active again but it was cool to take some time to think

and i don’t mean “take some time to think” as if this was some activity i had to stop to take care of myself, but more like i deliberatlely told myself that i would try for a while that i would make the effort to solve shit and tie the knots i had to tie and i did some cool shit, i made some progress but honestly sometimes i still feel like crumbling the fuck down and end up crying in someone else’s bathroom in a moment i’m supposed to feel good and have a good time but instead things just happen so suddenly 

but ok, the thing is i am here, and i am, i don’t know if i am okay or not okay but i just know that i am and that is enough for me to keep acting upon, i know that i can progress and go forward just by knowing that i am and that i can take control of me 

i feel specially shitty rn because i’ve been feeling shitty the whole weekend and as a result of that i’ve acted in ways i don’t like to act and i just didn’t think things and been shitty (under my terms) to people and i don’t like that because no one deserves that just for living their life 

i can’t help but be jealous of people on the street, strangers kissing on the bus, friends holding hands on the street, a person that i find pretty or someone i want to be like or look like or whatever but i need to be able to not be because it’s the main thing bringing me down 

Aries: Prom Song Gone Wrong (Teenage Wasteland)

Taurus: Angels Forever

Gemini: Kill Kill

Cancer: Queen of Disaster

Leo: Driving in Cars with Boys

Virgo: Paris

Libra: JFK

Scorpio: Kinda Outta Luck

Sagittarius: 1949

Capricorn: You Can Be the Boss

Aquarius: Starry Eyed

aries: punk trash

taurus: classy trash

gemini: trash god

cancer: pile of trash

leo: trash ruler

virgo: casual trash

libra: trash lord

scorpio: angry trash

sagittarius: meme-loving trash

capricorn: trash king/queen

aquarius: weird trash