It's my life so it's mine to make...

But this was the first post when I opened tumblr... do I have to close it and go touch grass now?

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

Opening Task Manager to scare the programs into behaving again

The names Practice

Mal Practice

Nice to meet you Dr. Practice, could you please tell me what’s wrong with my son :)

He needs surgery on all of his bones

Very well, here is my credit card :)

I accept no payment I do this because I love it

A pet rock is a great pet, until you realized its essentially immortal, and you have damned it to an eternity of watching loved ones die.

spiderman is so fucking funny dude saves like an entire country and then he goes home at the end of the day and opens his fridge and hes got like 1 egg and a half empty can of arizona tea no matter how old he is or what comic hes from thats just how peter parker lives

this is so much more well animated than is called for

i love hanging out with people who are more normal than i am it makes me feel like a fucked up deep sea creature

Ngl this would be pretty useful at work

i’m surviving solely on day dreams and fantasies at this point

1 REBLOG = 1 RAT becomes TRANSGENDER

tomorrow when the employees find this freak of nature, they will take photos of him and call animal control. but tonight he is alive in the chicago quiznos by the soda cooler and when he looks up at the counter, there are twice as many sandwiches as usual.