Struggling With My Mental Health

ed: then dont eat, it’ll make you skinnier

me: ok that makes sense

me:

me:

me:

delete tumblr. delete myfitnesspal. delete any and all calorie tracking apps. go into your kitchen. right now. get up and walk into your kitchen. now make a pot of pasta or spaghetti. or make a salad with chicken or a smoothie. or make a few eggs with some potatoes. or heat up the leftovers in the fridge. don’t count it. don’t measure it. don’t look up the calories. then sit down and eat the whole thing. don’t cut it up small, don’t wait until a certain time, don’t stare at it for forever before you eat it. cook it, put it on a plate, and eat it. maybe scroll through instagram or watch a tv show while you eat. like a post on your explore page about loving pizza without thinking of the calories or feeling fat. when you’re done eating, don’t go to the mirror, don’t go to the scale, don’t go to the toilet to throw up. then go on with your life without thinking about what you just ate or when you’ll eat next. now do that every time you first feel hungry every single day for the rest of your life.

if you can do that, fine. i’ll believe you. you’re “faking it”.

my ed: ooh your legs are especially gross today I see...

♥

…

I found these fruit popsicles at Safeway! They have no sugar added and are just 25 calories per popsicle! And they taste super delicious! They’re perfect because they last a while so you feel like you’ve been eating dessert and they’re really only 25 calories!

rose ♡

…

feeling like you wanna fucking die after eating a normal meal

thinking after you eat that normal meal “fuck it i may as well”

and then eating everything in sight

hating yourself more after that

restricting more after that

She didn’t fit in. Too pale, too pink, said her friend with the shimmering spots. Too soft, said her pale aunt with the spine of rock, glowing veins between her bones. Too squeamish, said her cousin as he chewed, red drool trailing down his skull.

The little girl asked her father why she didn’t have his long, sharp, glittering teeth. He placed his claws on her shoulder and told her that she was a young monster. Not all monsters were the same. Her mother licked her with her long black tongue and told her she had the most dangerous feature a monster could have: potential. She purred and held her close, her tail curling around the girl and drying her tears.