The world is better with you here

Greetings bugs and worms!

This comic is a little different than what I usually do but I worked real hard on it—Maybe I'll make more infographic stuff in the future this ended up being fun. Hope you learned something new :)

If you are still curious and want to learn more about OCD, you can visit the International OCD Foundation's website. I also recommend this amazing TED ED video "Starving The Monster", which was my first introduction to the disorder and this video by John Green about his own experience with OCD.

The IOCDF's website can also help you find support groups, therapy, and has lots of online guides and resources as well if you or a loved one is struggling with the disorder. It is very comprehensive!

Reblog to teach your followers about OCD

I sit with my grief. I mother it. I hold its small, hot hand. I don’t say, shhh. I don’t say, it’s okay. I wait until it is done having feelings. Then we stand and we go wash the dishes.

& the amount of mental energy that goes into it. & the legitimate amount of anger and discomfort and self-hate. is not “being lazy”.  it’d be a lot less work if i didn’t have to fight myself to just get up and do it. 

i just need you to understand it’s not effortless. it’s never effortless. it’s not “okay let me just get up and finally start doing this.” it’s more like. i am slamming my foot on the pedal but the car is in neutral and nothing is moving. it’s more like shouting instructions into a dying telephone. it’s more like being trapped in a small electric box, and someone who hates me is administering shocks. 

One thing that I’ve struggled with since my symptoms returned is being consistent. Sometimes getting out bed feels like a massive achievement. And on other days, when that’s the most I’m able to do, I feel like I’m slowly disappearing.

Because it all starts to look the same. Days blend together, and you can hardly tell where one ends and the next one begins.

Even an outline of a routine, though, can make such a huge difference. Sticking to a routine was really emphasized to me toward the beginning of this journey, but I had so little energy that organizing my day seemed impossible. But I understood routines differently then — strict, committed, firm. Nowadays, my routine is just little things that I can count on during the day.

Like Elizabeth in the morning. She’s an early riser, and she makes me look forward to greeting the day, too. She pushes her little cold nose into my face, a polite little alarm clock.

6 a.m., I drink coffee, watch the morning news with my mom, feed Elizabeth and remind myself to take my medication. It’s quiet and peaceful — inside my heart and body. I love the mornings now more than ever because of Lizzie.

I have classes on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays and meetings for my internship and research assistantship scattered throughout the week as well. Sometimes I worry that I took too much on this semester, that my desire to stay constantly busy was something that I could have left in my old life.

But being remote helps alleviate some of the stress. I’m surrounded by things I love and being home feels like the only way this year could have gone. 

I make a lot of lists, too. Most days, I put easy tasks in my planner just so I can cross them out. Simple things like, “Post a tweet for your social media class,” which is something that typically takes about 3 minutes. But gliding my red pen across the page, knowing that I’ve done at least one thing with my day, is like caffeine. It gives me energy and purpose.