Umbrella

it's funny when quotes from communist figures breach containment online and people are like "btw in case you didn't know this guy was really problematic"

what characters from the owl house did mao ship

if you don’t remember this man abused his wife to the point where she was so mentally ill she decided to pee for hours on end and starved people to the point where they ate their neighbors kids… maybe

Genuinely what do you mean by “she was so mentally ill she decided to pee for hours on end” what does that mean. I can find nothing on this and the human body cannot physically do that. Is this a typo???

Well, the best description for this would be that she decided she was going to pee on drip, which is why it would take. All day. She also also known for abusing the people who worked for her but given who her husband was, I’m not surprised

Which of Maos wives was this and where is your source

Fourth one, and I heard this one from a friend’s dad, who had family working for them at the time. Lived experience is good enough for me, as I know them personally, but you can take it or leave it

coffee makes you have to pee SO much i'm like maos wife over here

I have to google something

google will probably not help with this one I won't lie

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

when you try to get into the png nightclub but you see the dotted rectangle surrounding the bouncer stretch him wider to block the entrance cus ur not on his clipboard

welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

It’s a mess here: someone looked your gift dark horse in the mouth, led it to water, and jumped back on it. Your ducks aren’t in a row, someone counted the chickens before they hatched. Your geese are silly, your brown cows aren’t explaining how, and every one of these sheep is a wolf but they don’t even notice with the amount of wool over their eyes. I’m fining you one million gold coins.

it was the goat blame the goat

didn't realize i had left reblogs turned on on that tv tropes post, but this has been rectified

no post of mine has ever gotten such an annoying audience, because with the additions, it becomes a post for tvtropes users, which are annoying by default

it's sort of ironic for how i made that post because i was annoyed with tvtropes users, and it has only made me more annoyed with them over the years

this is what happened to me when i made a post making fun of uma musume and then 20 different people showed up in the tags to tell me that the gacha rates "are actually surprisingly generous" and then 50 other people showed up to tell me that they would unironically play the gacha game about slot machine girls i made up as a joke about how comically evil uma musume is

It's weird to think about how long Undertale has existed by now and how influential it's been on contemporary indie creatives. For example, Gooseworx (Amazing Digital Circus) was originally popular for making Undertale remixes. Joel G (ENA)'s first video uploads are Undertale fan animations. Even the Deltarune guy started off making Undertale stuff

theyre making spiders mandatory in sex. theyre saying its not sex unless a spider is involved

nonsexually (no spider) fellating your friend but then you notice a spider on their leg and you’re like dammit i don’t have enough money to replace all my straight pride flag clothing, tableware, etc. with bi pride flag clothing, tableware, etc. so you have to stop sucking even though you were really enjoying it

alvin the chipmunk sold me a fake juul pod in the library parking lot when i was 14 and when i confronted him about it he pretended he couldn’t talk like a person anymore so everyone just thought i was yelling at a normal chipmunk. that little fucker is not normal. he can sing and dance and he can steal and cheat i hate him so much.

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement