Someone Help

( . . . )

everything that comes out of wooram’s mouth is things that jaein’s been telling herself since her debut. she already has an answer to her own question: she’d disappear from the eyes of everybody and go live life like she should have. “i just keep telling myself that i only have a couple of years left along with hopes that i’ve made enough money.” despite how well lucid seemed to have been doing, they weren’t exactly millionaires just yet. she’s hoping that she comes close by the time she reaches the end of her contract though. “and that’s why you and i have to meet up like this. to talk it out so we don’t go crazy one day from everything that’s holding us back.”

Wooram is hit by a sudden sense of sympathy that he ignores most days, but in this particular instance, a little hazy from the drinks and in the company of one of the few friends he cared about the opinions, he rests his chin on his hand and looks at Jaein with a look that resembles recognition and understanding, even though there’s so much he doesn’t know about the elder. “No one should get mad at you. You’re doing your best, and you’re already great. Ungrateful bastards should look at themselves before putting all that responsibility on your shoulders.” Wooram won’t ever fully understand what that feels like, being the youngest of his group, but he knows things even when he pretends he doesn’t.

They might be living together, but the times that Wooram had to see Max wandering in the apartment were scarce at best in the past couple of months. He doesn’t think too much about it when he’s alone, but once he realizes someone else is also sharing the same spaces as him, it becomes a little difficult to not pinpoint that despite splitting the rent, Max spends considerably less time here if compared to Wooram.

( . . . ) “well what’s your definition of a good time then? a black eye? because i’ll give you that if that’s what you’re asking for. you do not get to jeopardize my happiness just because you’re bored. have you no sense of decency? of remorse? i had to build myself up from the ground again after all the shit you pulled on me and now i’m in a better place you do not just get to waltz in to chip away at that again. contrary to your belief, i don’t exists solely for your amusement wooram, i’m not some toy to prod at when you’re bored.”

Wooram lifts both of his hands with his palms turned towards Yuanjun. A sign of defeat, his smirk and all the rest of his body language screamed otherwise. He tries to think back to the time they were a thing and isn’t surprised when he barely remembers his time with the younger. “Oh love, it has nothing to do with having the balls to own up the title. A boyfriend should be someone who cares and cherishes, and you were never that person for me,” cruel as it might be, it’s the truth. He knows that Yuanjun might know that at this point, and even then, but there’s this feeling that he might have taken the wrong step right now. “I agree though, you’re not crazy, but I’ve always been curious about this, Junnie. You must have heard about my reputation back in the day. You knew exactly what you were signing up for, so don’t you think it’s a little unfair to put all the blame on my shoulders?” he pouts a little as he tilts his head to the side, not at all looking like an innocent young man, but what counts is his effort.

SUMMARY: things in wooram’s mind. one day i’ll be out of mars. their songs are actually pretty good. i hate it here. i look hot in every comeback we ever had. WC: 452

i’ll try my best to keep this updated, let’s see how it goes.

( . . . )

she knows the answer to that, however, changes when it comes to talking about the industry. mediocre people don’t survive. people stop caring about them and then eventually, they just completely disappear. that’s why she doesn’t directly answer his question and steers it sideways instead. “you want me to go charge into the ceo’s office and demand more acting projects for you or something?” jaein understands where the frustration is coming from, and she also knows that there’s not a lot that can be done. it’s her way of offering comfort though she’s certain it won’t be much help. leaning over, she gives him a squeeze on the arm and begins to wonder where those two bright, young adults that first met as trainees have gone. “what would you do if you had a chance to change everything about your life right now?”

“Oh, please do so. I’m sure I’m this close of them kicking me out, and I would love nothing more,” he says while demonstrating with his hand how thin he thinks their company’s patience is right now. Then he notices the problem in their thinking, and his eyes twitch before closing them, “but then they would be upset at you, and it would do nothing for me. Who even knows, maybe they give me an acting gig and I’ll have more work. I don’t like that idea at all.” And he’s purely being melodramatic now, and he can’t blame anyone but himself and the alcohol, but what else was he supposed to do at this point, anyway.

( . . . )

“don’t-” he spat out defensively, the use of petnames making the hairs at the back of his neck stand up straight. “you’ve long since lost the right to call me any of those things. save them for whoever else’s heart you’re currently playing with.”  once upon a time, yuanjun hadn’t been able to get enough of them, could listen to call wooram call him the sweetest things all day long. but they were no longer sweet, at this point they were patronizing and degrading, sending cold shivers down yuanjun’s spine. “what is it you want from me? why now? have you not bothered me enough yet.” his hands curled into fists by his side, crushing the empty plastic cup he had been holding. “it’s kind of ironic really, nowadays you’re around more than when you were supposed to be my actual boyfriend. where were you when i actually needed you huh?” a moment of tense silence, a rethoric question. “oh that’s right. fucking other people. so get the hell out of my face, i don’t need this. i don’t need you.”

What is his plan, and what does he want out of it? Wooram isn’t sure. Why does he feel the need to reach out to someone at this moment, and why is it Yuanjun? Why he doesn’t have any answers for his question, but still perseveres and goes against his gut feeling that he could stay away for the night. Exes must unlock something different within him, especially when it’s the first guy he was ever involved with. Yuanjun is special in the worst way possible.

It’s not usual of Wooram to go after his meals. Metaphorically speaking or otherwise, he doesn’t seek people out. Instead, he waits. He’s not necessarily patient, but Wooram knows the best moment to attack, the best moment to approach, and to make his way under people’s skin. He’s not a born strategist if his decisions in life are any proof of that, but Wooram learns quickly. But that trait is thrown out of the window the moment he decides to drink, and from then on, it’s just a mess of thoughts and poorly made decisions that he wouldn’t regret, but that’ll give him a headache later on regardless.

( . . . )

“I think with how exhausted I am you could play the drums and I wouldn’t wake up,” he announces as he finally opens his eyes and reaches forward for a can of beer himself. Once open he does raise it towards his new roommate, an excited twinkle in his eyes. “honestly… I feel fucking grateful to have someone around again. you?”

It has been three years since Wooram left Mars’ dorms. At the first chance he got to leave his bandmates behind and live by himself, he threw himself at it. He didn’t care at all for bonds, or how much it would cost him to move out from a company-paid apartment to rent a place in Seoul with his savings. He’s smart and clever, but Wooram also desperately needed his place. With time though, he started to realize that, for someone who had grown up surrounded by people at all times, being by himself was tough.

( . . . )

“a biologist, huh? what made you want to go into that?” she ignores the last part about being their company’s failure. while mars may have not become the biggest group underneath their company, she’s certain that others would only dream of having their relevancy and fanbase. “you’re doing fine,” is all she can give for comfort before she finally downs the drink in her hand. she’s here to listen to him rant anyway. it’s not like he needs sugar coated words from her. 

It’s not like Wooram cares, because most of the time, he doesn’t. But there are exceptions, very rare ones that make him wonder if he’s being too imposing, or being too much of an annoyance. In his defense, these types of people who make them care are rare enough, so he doesn’t know how’s he’s supposed to act with them, but this is also Jaein, and Jaein has been a constant in his life for as long as he can remember this nightmare beginning. He doesn’t want her to suffer consequences for sneaking out, but at the same time, there’s no one he trusts as much as he does her.

“Isn’t it impressive how money can make anything work, especially in our line of work?” Wooram asks out loud, and for a moment, it’s just a question that hangs in the universe before he lets the air out from his mouth and raising a hand to request another round of drinks. He shouldn’t be in a bar, to begin with, and he shouldn’t be out with a girl, but at this point, Dimensions and himself would be lucky if Wooram even had the thought to care.

They don’t have a well-stocked fridge and much less cold beer to refresh themselves after a long day of bringing up moving boxes and organizing things to the best of their abilities. So, Wooram volunteers to go to a convenience store (and that’s already rare enough) and gets them a good amount of different snacks and enough beers so he can share them with Max. They both deserve it, and now Wooram has someone to share a moment like this finally.

HWANG WOORAM — AESTHETIC #1 (FASHION)