heart/mind/soul

I don’t want to be okay

I don’t want to stop missing you

I don’t want my heart to forget

that it’s exactly where you belong

I want to feel your absence

because that means your presence is the norm

Just be my norm again

Please

hey guess what,

he’s all you’ve ever wanted.

he’s so much more. 

he set the bar higher than you had it for yourself. 

you’ve never felt this way about anybody. 

you know this can’t last. 

you know this has to change,

and be tainted,

and break––

but in this moment,

just appreciate the fact that you are so fully overwhelmed with love.

and you are so fully loved. 

and this feeling exists. 

even if you forget it later on. 

you are capable of love. 

remember this magic. 

love.

can’t even stop smiling long enough to write this. 

this is how it feels. 

you deserve this. 

fall out of love with you

is the greatest pain

YOU HAD ME AT MY ABSOLUTEST PUREST AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING CARE OR RECOGNIZE IT AT ALL.

I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AND IT DOESN’T PHASE YOU !!!!!!!!!! You go around fucking girls and fucking over your friends and you will never learn.

I was so sacred and special and vulnerable and you were an absolute FUCKER. I don’t know why I gave your lying, manipulative, deceitful ass any piece of me. From the BOTTOM of my heart: fuck you.

I’ve forgiven you a million times without you even knowing but you’re too blind to even see your errors and I will eternally resent you for it. Grow the hell up. You’re nothing. I hate you. 

You made the first scar and you weren’t worth any of it.